


The Reason

by weepingnaiad



Series: The Reason 'verse [1]
Category: Lord of the Rings (2001 2002 2003), Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2007-06-16
Updated: 2009-08-27
Packaged: 2017-10-11 22:57:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 63,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/118074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weepingnaiad/pseuds/weepingnaiad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Summary:</b> It took her to make them realize the error of their ways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Beta:** Thanks so much to the one and only Aglarien for her encouragement, support, and Sindarin naming talents!!! I also have to thank my dear husband who has listened to every word of this story many times and still manages to come up with new questions and fresh viewpoints each time through.
> 
>  **A/N:** The central theme of this story was inspired by the song, "The Reason" by Hoobastank. And, in all honesty, another character's POV is represented by another song, "My Immortal" by Evanescence. I'd also like to thank DarkDreamer for allowing me use of the title Shadow Stalker for a "career" choice for some of my Elves.
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** The characters and world belong to the Master himself, Tolkien. I am only borrowing them so they can come out and frolic a bit, not intending any copyright infringement of any sort. I do own my original characters, but they are available for parties!

  
<< internal thoughts be between these >>

Chapter 1:

Ethuil, Plains of Rohan, 2818 T.A.

Gildor laughed as Erestor glared at him, "Well, it is not my fault that Naurion thought you should cross the stream without him!"

"I think it had less to do with the stream than with that mare Naurion spied!  Show off!" Erestor laughed as he patted Naurion's haunches.  "Well, at least it is a beautiful spring day.  I should dry quickly."

Gildor smiled, "Aye, your hair is already almost dry.  I am glad we are finally heading home.  I, for a change, will be so glad to have a real bath and to sleep in a bed again.  This trip has taken far longer than I had hoped."

"Well, at least it has been quite fruitful," Erestor said as he patted the pocket inside his tunic.

Gildor looked over at his friend and smiled slightly, enjoying the relaxed and open manner that Erestor had now.  << It is so good to see you more like your old self.  I truly missed you, mellon nín.  How I wish that you were this way at home.  I hate to see you so cold and aloof.  It hurts those that care about you more than you know. >>

The companions rode on in comfortable silence for awhile until Erestor stiffened, "I smell…smoke…there, in the distance."

Gildor sat up in his saddle and narrowed his eyes, "A small village lies that way.  Mayhap they are burning their fields?"

"It is too late in the season to be burning fields and too early in the day for a bonfire.  There may be trouble."  Erestor frowned.

Without another word, they both spurred their mounts forward.  Even though they were in a remote area of Rohan, the two elves still felt a strong compulsion to defend innocents if they had it in their power to do so.

As they neared the village, the sounds of fighting could be heard.  Gildor drew his sword while Erestor nocked his bow.  When they came upon the outermost huts, most were completely in flames, with many already burned out.  Bodies were strewn everywhere, but there were still a few villagers trying to put out the flames.  From the bodies they passed, it seems that a band of Dunlendings had attacked this village intent on pillaging and plundering, but the villagers had a different idea.

The sound of skirmishes still echoed in the air, so the Elves continued toward the fighting instead of lingering with the survivors.  When they arrived at the center of the town, there were still quite a few able bodied villagers fighting with grim determination.  Erestor quickly shot two of the Wild Men that were running after a woman carrying an infant.  Gildor immediately rode into the center of the fray and began to fight with a vengeance.  Between the elves and the villagers, the attackers were quickly dispatched.  Once the sounds of battled stopped, they heard screams from further away.  It seems that not all of the attackers were disposed of and some houses on the outskirts were also under attack.

Gildor spurred his mount onward with Erestor following.  They came to a small cluster of homes where they could hear muffled shouts and curses coming from an alleyway between two of the houses.  Gildor swung off his mount and ran ahead into the fray, with Erestor following close behind.  They came upon two boys using only pitchforks for weapons who were fending off four large Wild Men.  Gildor attacked one with his sword while Erestor set upon another.  Soon all four were down.  As Erestor lowered his sword, Gildor screamed and lunged by him, only to be struck by the axe blow that had been intended for Erestor.  Erestor immediately reacted and the last Wild Man was dead, but Gildor had taken a savage blow to his side and was bleeding profusely.

Erestor ripped up strips of cloth from his under tunic and bound Gildor's side but the bleeding would not stop.  Gildor was still conscious, but just barely.  Erestor looked at the two boys who were swaying on their feet from fear and fatigue and asked, "Is there a healer nearby?"  The boys didn't understand Westron, so Erestor repeated his query in Rohirric.  The tallest boy replied, "I hear that there's one on the northern outskirts of the village of Lifman.  They say she's the best healer in Rohan."

 "Is there no one closer?" Erestor asked.

The boy shook his head and responded in a barely audible whisper, "Not anymore.  My Gran was our healer and these Wild Men got to her.  Besides, no one around here knows anything about healing your kind, but that one may."

"Do you know how to get to her place?"

"No, sir, I've never been that far from home."  The boy looked to be close to collapse, so Erestor quickly asked for one more favor.  "Could you please help me?  I can mount up, but I need help to get my friend mounted with me.  Can you two manage that?"

"Yes, sir, I think we can do that."

Erestor tilted his head in salute, "Thank you.  I am sorry that I cannot stay longer and provide you further aid.  Best of luck to you."

Erestor whistled for Naurion who came trotting up along with Húron.  After grabbing a flask from his saddle bags Erestor put his arm around Gildor's shoulder, "Meldir, try drinking.  This will strengthen you for the journey."  He gave Gildor two swigs of Miruvor.  Once he took a swig himself, he put away the bottle.  Erestor then swung up into the saddle and reached for his friend who was swaying dangerously between the two boys.  Between the three of them they did get Gildor up into Erestor's arms, but all of the jostling caused the bindings to loosen and Gildor was again bleeding profusely.

Erestor tightened the bindings as he looked down at Gildor's pale face, "Can you hold on a little longer, meldir?  I need you to help us get to this healer the boy talked about.  You know this area far better than I."

Gildor struggled to respond through the pain, but he did manage to wheeze, "I will…stay...not losing me yet."  He took a shuddering breath, knowing he had to direct Erestor now for he would probably not be conscious later, and continued, "Northeast…at the fork in the road, just past a small stream and a copse of trees, turn due north…about an hour past that.  You will find it."

With that, Erestor urged Naurion to set out at a brisk pace.  "Forgive the rough ride, but I must make haste."  He knew that his mount could make good time even riding double and he also knew that he did not have a moment to spare as Gildor was struggling to stay conscious.  Húron was following, and Erestor wondered if he would be able to change mounts halfway through the journey if Naurion needed a rest.  He thought it would be worth the chance if they were unable to make good enough time.

Erestor looked down at Gildor's face and began to pray for his friend.  He and Gildor had been close friends for such a long time that Erestor couldn't imagine doing without Gildor's humor and support.  Erestor's thoughts drifted back to when he first met Gildor... 

He had been just a youngling, still trying to accustom himself to the changes in his life after his parents died during the fall of Eregion.  He fled with the refugees and found his way to the nascent haven of Imladris.  He was just a face in the crowd of so many refugees.  Erestor was strong and his father had taught him to continue fighting because he had always believed that giving up was the true death.

Erestor liked the sheltered valley so he began to work in earnest, hoping he could stay there.  He had hopes that his efforts would be rewarded with a position from the lord of the valley, Elrond. He helped with the other refugees the best that he could, giving comfort and counsel where possible.  He was eager to help and never shunned any task.  He would set up tents, carry water, cook, entertain elflings, whatever needed to be done.  Erestor kept himself busy, often to the point of exhaustion, so that he did not dwell on his losses.  His work and struggle did get noticed.

Gildor, the Captain of the Imladris guard and one of Lord Elrond's closest friends, saw the pain in the young one's eyes.  He watched him work far harder and longer than many of the adult elves.  Gildor decided that this youngling needed a friend.  He also thought Erestor might make a good candidate for a new, elite group created by the High King, the Shadow Stalkers.  Gildor, as head of this corps, was trying to fill his ranks and was always on the watch for qualified ellon.  Erestor had potential as he was intelligent and hard working without being boisterous, a trait that did not combine well with secret intelligence gathering.  
   
Gildor tossed some wine, cheese, bread, and fruit in a basket, and grabbed a blanket.  He was determined to talk to the dark haired young elf and force him to rest a bit at the same time.  When Gildor strode up, Erestor was having difficulty convincing a draft horse to help pull a large granite block into place.  Both beings were obviously hot, tired, and frustrated.  Gildor smiled, "So, young one, why not give your friend a break from this hot, dusty work and then you can take a break as well?"

Erestor looked up into the smiling face of a tall, blonde haired elf with friendly grey eyes and realized just how tired he truly was.  "That sounds wonderful…uh…my Lord."

"Captain Gildor Inglorion, but please, just call me Gildor.  And you are?"

"Erestor Sarnonion," he said shyly, "but just Erestor is fine."

During the picnic, Gildor decided that this young one had great potential and he informed Elrond of it.  Together the lord and his captain decided that Gildor would mentor Erestor and help him find his place in Imladris.  Over the course of the next few months, Gildor secretly guided Erestor's activities using each one as a test of his strengths and weaknesses.  Erestor was obviously brilliant, with a cunning and quick mind.  He seemed to have an affinity for strategy and logic games, thoroughly enjoying the time spent playing chess with Gildor.

Erestor also had a knack for the smaller weapons, especially daggers and knives, but his real talent came out when barehanded.  It was almost as if he could sense his opponent's moves before they did themselves, so he would often best older and stronger elves.  Gildor also noticed that Erestor seemed to intuitively understand the mechanical world, so he become invaluable in creating Imladris' vast maze of pipes, tunnels, and cisterns for hot and cold water as well as waste removal.   The only chink in Erestor's armor appeared to be his lack of confidence in himself and his shyness.  He was quite reserved in groups, tending to stay in the background, but he could be drawn out in one to one discussions.  After the assessment period, Elrond and Gildor agreed that he should continue to mentor the youngling as he would be a major asset with Gildor's Shadow Stalkers when he came of age.

Gildor moaned and Erestor was pulled from his reverie.  He looked at the sky and tried to determine how much farther they had to go.  He then reached into his saddle bag and brought the flask of miruvor to Gildor's lips.  "Drink, please.  You have to hang on, meldir."  Gildor took a small sip and fluttered his eyes, "Where…?" He managed to get out.

"I am uncertain, but there is a copse of trees up ahead and what may be a small stream.  We will not dismount, but we must stop long enough to let Naurion rest.  Hopefully, it is not too much further.  Hold on, mellon nín.  You shall not leave me this easily."  With Naurion stopped, Erestor could ease his grip on Gildor and check his bandages.  They were soaked with blood and he knew his friend would not survive if he did not have help soon.  Erestor stretched his tired arms and prayed that it was not much longer.

TBC  
**Translations:**  
Ethuil – late spring  
mellon nín – my friend  
meldir – my friend (male)  
ellon – male elf


	2. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back in Imladris, Glorfindel has to deal with the consequences of his actions...

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
  
{{ internal thoughts be between these }}

Ethuil, Imladris, 2818 T.A.

Elrond rose from his desk as Glorfindel entered his study.  "Have some tea with me, meldir."

"That sounds wonderful this morn, but surely you did not request my presence just to drink tea, híren?" Glorfindel accepted the offered cup and seated himself in the chair before Elrond's desk.

Elrond glanced at his Seneschal and noticed his tired visage.  "Am I so transparent to you?  Well, I was wondering if there had been any word or sighting of Gildor and Erestor."  Elrond sipped his tea and casually sat himself on the edge of his desk.  He was a bit uncomfortable with the discussion to come, but he didn't want to let it show.

Glorfindel scooted his chair back and stretched his long legs straight out.  "Nothing.  But, truly, they have been this late before.  There is no reason for concern for at least another fortnight.  I am certain everything is fine," he said, sounding more confident than he felt.  He had felt some disquiet when the pair hadn't arrived as scheduled, and, in truth, his own concern was growing with each passing day.  There was no way he would let Elrond know that, though.  He had had enough lectures about "listening to his heart" and "letting go of the past" to last several lifetimes!

"You are right, I know.  It is just that those two are dear to me…besides, Imladris would fall apart without Erestor to organize everything!" Elrond laughed slightly to ease the tension.  "I am probably just unsure how this Council will go without Erestor coordinating it all.  He manages things in such a way that everything flows so effortlessly."  He sighed, took a couple of sips and continued on, "which leads me to another subject…" he started, hoping that this topic would not degrade into an argument, "Galadriel has requested that you keep away from Haldir, Orophin, and Rúmíl during the upcoming Council."

"What?!  And you agreed to this request for me?  What has gotten into you, Elrond?  I thought we were friends?  We are all adults.  Those three are not elflings!" Glorfindel was outraged and beginning on quite a rant when Elrond shushed him.  "Enough!  Of course we are friends.  And, as your friend, I must be honest with you for no one else will be.  You have left a wide swath in your wake; not just here, but on your visits to Mirkwood and Lothlórien as well."

He stopped, struggling for the right words to get through to his friend, "Fin, you have been anything but discreet of late and that, in turn, has led to gossip which has given you quite a reputation.  Galadriel loves those three as though they were her own sons.  She will not tolerate them getting hurt.  That is why she made the request and I agreed.  Not just for their sake, but for yours, meldir."

"My sake?!  How is this about me?" Glorfindel snorted.

"You have only gotten worse, hopping from bed to bed like they are on fire.  You cannot run from your feelings forever.  They will catch up to you.  You will have to acknowledge how you feel about him.  This elf that you have become is not truly you.  Do you even like yourself right now?" Elrond cringed, fearing his words had come out too strong.

"I have never lied to any of them.  I never made promises or said words of love.  I never even stayed the entire night.  It has always been casual.  Why is that so wrong?"  Glorfindel asked softly as he sagged.  He hoped Elrond didn't realize how close to home his words had struck.  In truth, he thought guiltily, there had been one in the past in whose arms he had awoken.  He envisioned wavy, ebony hair and then saw the pain in those brown eyes, and frowned.

Elrond's words pulled him back, "Those are just words and may be a balm for your conscience, but they do not help when someone gets hurt.  Mere words cannot ease the pain of a broken heart and you know this."  Elrond sighed.  How is it that these conversations always turned into a veiled discussion of his relationship with Erestor?  Oh, so often he wished that that dreadful summer had never happened!  His world fell apart when Celebrían sailed, and his two dearest friends fell into each other's arms only to be ripped apart by Fin's past.  {{Can we ever be whole again? }}

Elrond changed the subject, hoping to ease the melancholy that had settled between them, "do you need more sleeping draught?  You look as though you have not slept in days."

"Aye, I guess I do.  You know I hate the stuff, though.  I hate how I feel in the morning, but the nightmares are not subsiding.  If anything, they are much stronger, more visceral these past few nights."  Glorfindel shuddered and closed his eyes, the awful sights, sounds, and even smells coming back to assault him.  He again saw Echthelion fall…  "Fin!" until Elrond's shaking him pulled him back to the present.

"Fin, please.  Let me help.  You cannot even concentrate anymore.  I will stay with you, meldir.  You do not have to carry this burden alone.  Accept some help."  Elrond was truly worried for his friend.  With Erestor holding Glorfindel each night, his nightmares had finally ceased and he could even begin to sleep alone.  But, again, that was before that accursed summer when their perfect world had slipped into chaos!  {{Here we stand, three islands of loneliness and pain completely unable to reach across the chasm of our past hurts to succor and restore each other.}}

A knock interrupted both elves' musings.  "Come."

Saelbeth felt the sadness in the room when he entered the study.  "Milord, I can return later if this is not a good time…"

"No, no.  That is fine, Saelbeth.  I know there is much to do in the next few weeks.  Please, continue."

"And I, too, have much to do." Glorfindel got up and started toward the door then he turned, "how about a game of chess after dinner, Elrond?"

Elrond looked up, "Yes, that would be perfect, meldir."  Then he turned back to his desk where he and Saelbeth began to discuss the armful of papers and plans that Saelbeth had carried in.

*******************

Glorfindel went to his own office to review the patrols and reports.  He hated paperwork and was thankful that his second, Aurvellas, was so organized and good at it.  But that still didn't alleviate him of his duty.  The one thing that Fin would never let lapse was his sense of duty and responsibility.  He was sent back to defend Elrond and his family and nothing would interfere with that!  Not even his inner demons.

When it became obvious that he was in no state of mind to finish the stack on his desk, Glorfindel pushed back his chair and strode out of his office.  He knew what he needed – physical activity.  He strode to the training grounds in the hopes of finding at least one of the senior guards available to spar with.

When he arrived, Aurvellas was finishing archery instruction with the newest recruits.  Glorfindel beckoned him over to the sparring grounds after the recruits were dismissed.  "Vella, get over here.  You look like you could use some tension relief," he teased the dark haired elf.

Aurvellas groaned when he saw the glint in Glorfindel's eyes and realized that he was in for a thorough workout, "Aye, Sir.  The new recruits are not doing at all well with the bow.  I fear that we need a different instructor, but we have no one with the skill available."

Aurvellas is an exceptional swordsman, one of the best in Imladris, but he was still outclassed by Glorfindel.   Once he was disarmed, and even though Fin discarded his own weapon, their match was quickly over.  Only one other in Imladris could hold their own without arms against Glorfindel's size, strength, and agility, and few even realize there was such a one.  "I yield.  Now let me up, you cave troll!"  Aurvellas cursed when he was thrown and lay, flattened, under Glorfindel for the second time.

Glorfindel laughed, "You are slow today, meldir," he said as he helped Aurvellas to his feet.

"I am no slower than usual you were just unusually vicious today.  Any reason in particular you felt the need to squash something?"

{{More than I can count.  I shall not trouble you with them though, meldir. }}  "Nothing really.  Just a lot of little things, I think.  Come on.  I have some salve for those bruises, and a massage, if you are interested?"  Glorfindel leered at the ellon before him, enjoying the vision in front of him.  Aurvellas was not as tall as he, but was broad chested with powerful arms and legs.  The warrior's straight brown hair was coming undone from its braids and his bare skin was covered in sweat and dirt, darkening his normally fair skin.

Aurvellas heard the invitation and looked at his Captain, whose intent was obvious to his grey eyes, as both ellyn's leggings were uncomfortably tight.  {{ He is glorious without a shirt with that sheen of sweat covering his chest.  To be held in those arms, and taken by Fin is wonderful, but I need more than that.  I can no longer be just his release.  I want to wake up with someone, not in an empty bed. }}  "Just the salve, meldir, and thank you, but I desire nothing else today," he demurred.

"As you wish.  We can discuss our archery problem in the baths, then."  Fin was a bit taken back by his refusal.  They were often partners, especially after a vigorous sparring session left both elves intensely aroused.  {{Maybe Elrond is right.  Things have gotten out of hand lately.  Have I truly hurt so many?  How did I get to this place and how do I fix this? }}

The pair walked quietly to the bath house, each lost in their own thoughts.  Once they arrived at the enclosed stone structure, Glorfindel grabbed a few towels from the tables at the entrance and strode to a smaller pool farther in the back.  Aurvellas hesitantly followed, concerned that his refusal would be tested.  "Come, meldir, we can talk more freely back here," the Elda sensed his Second's reticence and he wanted to put his friend at ease.  He sighed and ran his hands through his tangled hair to pull the braids out.

Soon they were both clean and relaxing in the warm pool fed by hot springs from under Imladris.  The air was dense and smelled slightly sulfuric, casting a foggy halo around everything as Anor shone through the leaded glass skylights in the roof of the building.  Glorfindel turned to look at his friend who still had not completely relaxed, "Meldir, I would take nothing you did not wish to give.  Please.  You know this."

Aurvellas shrugged, "I do know.  I doubt you not.  There is a war inside of me.  Part of me screams for me to throw myself in your arms and lose myself in the moment, but a larger part holds me back.  It whispers that you are not in love with me and never will be.  I should wait for one that I can give my all to and take the same in return."

"Forgive me, meldir.  I did not intend to hurt you…" his shoulders dropped, "…I did not intend to hurt anyone…" his voice trailed off.

"Aí, I know, Fin.  You did nothing wrong, it is just that I have tired of the games, the emptiness of it all.  I want more; someone to love, not just a lover.  Can we put this behind us and remain friends?"

The Elda's head shot up and he looked into smiling grey eyes, "I would like nothing more than that, mellon nîn.  Hannon le."

Aurvellas felt the tension finally leave him and he sighed in relief.  "Now, Captain, you mentioned a solution to our lack of qualified archery instructors?"

Glorfindel was thrilled that he had not pushed yet another away that he cared for.  "I was thinking of proposing an exchange during the upcoming Council…"

Aurvellas quickly grasped his Captain's idea, "Oh, I see… we offer swords, armor, and training to Mirkwood in exchange for bows and training in archery for Imladris.  Clever idea.  Fresh blood always inspires warriors to strive harder as they attempt to best the newcomers.  Do you think that it is possible King Thranduil would agree?"

"That remains to be seen, but it is a fair trade and a good solution to our problem and Mirkwood's.  I do not believe that Thranduil is stupid, insular maybe, but not stupid.  I believe he will consider it."

"Your answer almost makes me eager for the Council.  I was beginning to despair that our latest recruits would ever measure up.  It is good to have your mind applied to our needs," Aurvellas paused, and then asked, "Will you join us in the Hall of Fire tonight after dinner?"  Lately the only time his Captain had come to the Hall of Fire was when someone had caught his eye and he was planning on leaving with that someone.

"Nay, I have previously committed to a chess match or two with Lord Elrond tonight.  Perhaps some other night, if your invitation still holds?"

"Of course, our door will always be open to you, meldir."

TBC  
 **Translations:**  
Ethuil – late spring  
meldir – my friend (male)  
híren – my lord  
ellon – male elf  
hannon le – I thank you


	3. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to the Plains of Rohan to see how Gildor fares...

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
 _  
 **FIC: The Reason, Part 3**  
_

{{ internal thoughts be between these }}

 

  
Chapter 3:

 

  
Ethuil, Northern Rohan, 2818 T.A.

 

  
In the sturdy cottage, a woman was sitting by the fire, rocking with a cat on her lap, when the sound of horses startled her out of her reverie.  "Sidhiel?  Wait, no, I hear more than one horse," she mumbled to herself.  "Get down, Nim-mem, and let me see who is outside."  With that, the woman stood and shooed the cat from around her ankles.  She opened the door, only to see two large horses silhouetted against the last rays of the sun.  As she stepped outside, she spied the riders.  One was struggling to pick up the other, who was obviously unconscious.  When the first rider turned, his hood slipped and Idhreneth saw his ears. {{ Thank Elbereth!  One of the Eldar!  This is my opportunity! }}

Erestor saw the tall, stately woman with wavy dark hair step out of the cottage, but he was too busy to say anything at first.  Gildor was unconscious and the bleeding still had not stopped completely.  As Erestor struggled to pick him up, he heard, "My Lord, do you need a healer?"  His head snapped up, for the words were in perfect Sindarin even if the accent was a bit more clipped and less melodic than normal.   As Erestor finally got his tired arms and legs to cooperate, he picked up Gildor and began walking to the cottage.  "Yes, my Lady, my friend is gravely injured and we desperately need your help."

Idhreneth trembled and backed to the door where she grabbed the handle for support.  "My Lady, I will not hurt you.  Please.  My friend needs aid."

"I can help your friend, but will only do so on one condition."

Erestor was quickly overwhelmed by the emotions of the day.  He was tired and truly worried for Gildor and here, this woman who could help, might refuse?  Through clenched teeth, Erestor replied, "What condition?  I have money…"

"I have no need of your money.  I simply need your word, your oath, that you will take my ward back to your home when you leave."

"What?  Why?"  Erestor was confused and his exhaustion made his words sound harsh.

Idhreneth was visibly shaken, for she had never refused aid to anyone, but she was adamant.  "That is my only condition.  You best decide quickly for your friend is failing," her soft voice trembled.

Erestor hated being maneuvered into agreeing to anything, but he quickly relented, "Certainly.  Please.  Help my friend."

Idhreneth sighed in relief and opened the door.  When Erestor crossed the threshold he took in the deceptively simple furnishings and noted that the cottage was larger than he had first guessed.  Numerous scents fought for dominance in his brain.  The overwhelming scent of a meat stew could not completely mask a myriad of herbal scents, though.

The large, stone central mantle visually separated a cozy sitting area from the kitchen.  He followed the lady past a sturdy, if worn, kitchen table and through a door.  He stepped into a large room where she directed him to place Gildor on a comfortable bed near the corner hearth.  The lady pulled back a quilt and blankets, revealing soft white sheets.  While he was settling Gildor, she bustled about, stepping in and out of the room, lighting lanterns, and gathering herbs and supplies.  It was then that Erestor realized that the other half of the room contained a desk, cabinets, and book shelves, with almost every surface covered by open books and jars of all shapes and sizes.  Hanging from the ceiling were various bundles of dried herbs and flowers.

When she returned from the kitchen, she was carrying several cloths and a large bowl full of water.  She then moved to the bed next to Gildor.  "Please help me remove these clothes and bindings.  I must clean the wound and see how bad it is.  Is this the only injury or are there others?"

"There are no others.  This was done by a Dunlending axe that was meant for me."

Idhreneth heard the anguish in Erestor's voice and tried to keep him in the present moment, although he was swaying and obviously quite exhausted.  "While I work here, you should put your horses in the pen with ours so they can have feed and water.  After that is done, there is stew in the pot on the stove as well as bread with honey and butter on the table.  I even have some mead in the barrel under the house.  The access door is under the sink in the kitchen.  Please help yourself."

Erestor was glad to be busy and not have to watch as he heard Gildor's weak moans and cries while his wound was being cleaned.  He observed the lady who moved with a grace he was unaccustomed to from mortals.  Her voice was soft and soothing with his friend.  The lady was obviously quite capable as she mixed and crushed herbs for a tea.  She prepared a draught for Gildor and then asked, "Could you hold him up a bit?  He needs to drink this so that he will sleep deeply while I stitch him up.  It will be better for all if he sleeps through this."  Erestor lifted Gildor's shoulders and tilted his head back so that the lady could serve him sips of tea.  She somehow managed to get half the cup down him without any of them wearing any of it.  "You should care for yourself now.  I will call if I have need of you."

Erestor walked out of the bedroom.  He was shaking with exhaustion.  Once the horses were cared for and he was full of good, hearty stew, he felt himself begin to doze off.  The lady was still working over Gildor!  {{ I should be helping. }}  As he walked to Gildor's side, the lady sat back and wiped a stray strand of hair from her forehead.  "I have done all I can for now.  He lost a lot of blood, but the cut was clean and avoided all vital organs.  There is no sign the blade was tainted, either.  The next few days will be critical; he will need a lot of rest and continuous watching.  We will both share our strength with him."

"My lady, do you have a name?  I should like to be able to properly thank you..."

"I am Idhreneth, and…" she cocked her head, listening for something, "my ward's name is Sidhiel.  She should have been back by now," she said, almost to herself.

Erestor noticed the quiver in her voice, "Surely she is fine," although he wondered.  It was now many hours past sunset and no… woman?... girl?... he had no idea which, should be out alone this late.  "Do you want me to go look for her?" he dreaded her answer, because, in truth, he wanted to stay close to Gildor, but his nature forced him to help if it was in his power.

"No.  Thank you.  Unfortunately, she often stays out past dark even though she knows I hate it.  She just loses track of time.  For some reason, she is comfortable wandering alone in the dark."  She began bustling about the cottage, putting dishes in the sink, stoking the fires, adjusting the stove, snuffing candles.  "Now, you should rest," she said as she urged Erestor through the other door and into another large bedroom, "You take this bed.  I will stay beside your friend so that I can tend to him.  What did you say his name was?"

Erestor smiled, yes, he had forgotten introductions, and he'd already eaten his fill and availed himself of much of the lady's hospitality.  "My apologies, my Lady, I am not normally so ill mannered and thoughtless.  Please forgive me.  I am Erestor of Imladris and my friend is Gildor Inglorion."

"You're from Imladris?  I have heard stories of it.  It will be good for Sidhiel to go there.  Thank you.  You have given me such peace of mind."  With that, she turned to leave the room.

"Idhreneth, are you sure that you should not have the bed?  I feel quite awkward taking your bed from you.  I can sleep on the floor quite easily.  It is softer than the ground I have been sleeping on."

She laughed, a sweet sound, and said, "Absolutely not!  You rest.  I will be up and down all night checking his bandages and watching for fever, not to mention giving him more tea.  He needs lots of fluids to regain the blood he lost.  Besides, I doubt I will truly rest until Sidhiel gets home.  So, please, sleep in comfort.  Maybe tomorrow night, if he is faring better, you can take this duty."

Erestor stripped down to only his suede leggings and silk shirt, grimacing at his state.  He needed a bath, but it was far too late for that.  Surely he could at least clean up enough to keep from ruining the nice bedclothes.  He left the bedroom, only to see Idhreneth standing in the front door, searching for something or someone, more likely.  "My lady…" she jumped, obviously startled.  "I apologize.  I did not mean to startle you."

"Oh… no harm done.  I have lived with Sidhiel for so long that this house is only quiet when I am alone.  I did not hear you," she quickly regained her composure.

"I am pretty dirty and would prefer to clean up before I ruin your sheets…" he began.

She interrupted, "Oh, dear.  I am so sorry.  I was worried about your friend and Sidhiel and have completely forgotten to see to you.  The tub is kept in Sidi's room, maybe something less than a full bath will do for tonight?" she offered.

He smiled, "Anything with water would be perfect.  Hannon le, my lady."

She brought him cleaning cloths and a large fluffy towel as well as oils and soaps.  "I did not know what scents you would like, but I assumed the less floral ones would be more to your liking."

He was sitting on the bed tugging his boots off when she returned with a large pail full of lukewarm water.  "It is not too warm since I had already turned down the stove, but it is not completely cold.  Will this suffice?"

He felt a little body jump on his lap.  He winced when sharp claws began to knead into his thigh.  "Oww!  And, who are you my dark one?" he said as he grabbed the black kitten with a white nose that was making its way up his body.

"Oh, sorry.  That's Nim-mem.  He's our fearsome hunter," Idhreneth laughed.  "I hope he's not disturbing you.  He sleeps in either of the beds and I shooed him away from Gildor."

"Not at all.  I adore cats.  I do not mind sharing my bed with a ferocious warrior," he cringed at the double entendré, but kept his composure as he petted the kitten, which preened at the words and affection.  "Hannon le, my lady, you have been most kind."

"My pleasure, Lord Erestor," she smiled and closed the door behind her.  She then entered the other bedroom and settled down in a chair next to Gildor's bed and began humming a soothing melody as she held his hand.

Erestor freed his hair from the confining braid and ran his fingers through the tangles.  He removed his shirt, leggings, and loincloth and began cleaning the dust and blood from his skin.  It was not a bath, but the water was still warm so felt luxurious compared to what he had been used to these past few months.  Once the worst of the grime was removed, he lathered another cloth with a sandalwood scented soap and thoroughly cleansed himself except for his hair which he combed through as best he could.

After drying he put on clean clothes from his pack and settled down on the comfortable bed, his hand idly petting the purring form cuddled up next to him.  He was thoroughly spent from the flight and worry, not to mention the fights earlier in the day.  It had been a long day and he needed some rest, but found he was unable to drift off.

He pondered this lady and her home, not to mention her missing ward.  This cottage, while not elaborate by Elven standards, was exceedingly well crafted with simple, but fine furnishings, like the almost luxurious sheets he was sleeping on.  It all seemed out of place, as though it did not really belong here in a remote .  The lady herself was a larger puzzle.  She was quite lovely and held herself almost regally, yet she was obviously a skilled healer and not unfamiliar with hard work as her care worn hands demonstrated.  Odd that a healer from Rohan would know a few words of Sindarin, but even less likely is for one to be fluent in it.  His thoughts began to jumble as he drifted into reverie.

 

*********************

 

  
Ethuil, Imladris, 2818 T.A.  


Glorfindel set up the chess board and a couple of glasses, pondering which wine to open first when there was a knock at the door.  "Enter."

Elrond walked in with a tray of fruit and cheeses as well as a bottle of wine.  He was dressed casually in leggings and a loosely tied white silk shirt.  His hair was unbraided.  It was obvious he was there to relax and enjoy the company.

"Meldir, you look like you do not think me a challenge," teased Glorfindel.

Elrond grinned sheepishly, "That could not be further from the truth.  I just want, nay _need,_ a break from planning this Council and keeping up with everything else.  Saelbeth is doing well, but he is yet untried with many of his duties.  I always take Erestor for granted until he is gone for awhile."

{{ None of us truly appreciate him as he deserves. }}  "While you pour us a glass of wine, I have two good vintages on the table there, I think I shall change myself.  That way, I am not overdressed."

The camaraderie was relaxing for both friends, and healing, in a small way.  When the third bottle of wine was almost finished, and it seemed that Glorfindel was on his way to yet another rout, Elrond tipped his King over and resigned.  "How is it that even after all these years, you still slaughter me at this game?  I think we shall have to play something else next time, meldir."

Glorfindel smiled.  He loved strategy games and chess in particular.  He always had.  He delighted in delving into his opponent's mind and finding ways to use their own strengths against them.  Only one had ever bested him at chess.  That thought made his mind wander back to wavy, dark hair being twirled around a long elegant finger… a mouth sipping wine and a tongue quickly licking stray drops from full, ruby lips… laughter, sweet laughter… and those brown eyes, glinting in mischief and triumph…

Elrond saw the distant look in Glorfindel's eyes and realized that he'd lost his Seneschal to a memory.  Elrond cleared his throat to pull him back to the present.  "I brought the sleeping draught.  You should take it tonight.  You need to rest and regain your strength.  In a few nights we can try again without the potion."

{{ What is wrong with me?  Must be the lack of sleep. }}  "You are right, of course.  Please stay?  It always takes me so long to feel myself again after this," he said, and he drank the concoction down in one gulp.

Elrond helped Glorfindel into bed and reassured him that he would stay.  "Now, sleep.  Rest without dreams.  Good night," he said as he lightly kissed Glorfindel's forehead and brushed a few wayward strands from his face.  The draught, combined with the wine, pulled Glorfindel into sleep quickly so Elrond snuffed the candles and quietly eased into bed next to his friend.

TBC

 **Translations:**  
Ethuil – late spring  
meldir – my friend (male)  
hannon le – I thank you


	4. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now we meet Sidhiel

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
  
{{ internal thoughts be between these }}

Chapter 4:

Ethuil, Northern Rohan, 2818 T.A.

The door to the cottage opened and a bundle of energy burst into the room Erestor was occupying.  Cries of "Gran! Gran!" only stopped once the young child noticed the tall, dark elf that was standing before her, sheathing his knives.  Her eyes wide, she whispered, "Gran?"

"Hush, child.  I'm here and you're late," Idhreneth said in Rohirric as she strode over to Sídhiel and hugged the child.  She turned to Erestor and spoke in Sindarin, "Lord Erestor may I present to you, my charge, Sídhiel."

Sídhiel attempted to curtsy but had some difficulty with the maneuver.  "My Lord, it is my… uhm, good to make… uhm, meet you."  She smiled brightly, proud that she had recalled the words!  She continued blithely on, unaware that her Gran was walking away to return to Gildor's side, "Gran!  Guess what I found?  I found an owl's nest." She turned to follow Idhreneth, "And there's little owlets in the nest!  Can I keep one!  Can I?  Can I??"

Erestor followed the child and smiled at her name.  "Maiden of peace" was not befitting of this exuberant being.  He heard some sounds from the other room and worried that Gildor was stirring.  He decided to help by settling Sídhiel down.  "My lady, it is indeed a pleasure to make your acquaintance.  Mayhap you can tell me of your adventures while your Gran attends to my friend?  Perhaps you are hungry?"

As Erestor turned toward the table, Sídhiel noticed his ears.  "You're an elf!  Gran, he's an elf!"  She had completely forgotten about the owlets when confronted by this magical being her Gran had oft told her stories of.

"Yes, Sídhiel, I know.  Now please be quiet.  Lord Gildor was seriously injured and needs quiet and rest.  He does not need your squealing," Idhreneth scolded as she shut the bedroom door.

Duly chastened, Sídhiel walked over to Erestor, and just stared.  While he was being gawked at, Erestor surreptitiously apprised the child he had agreed to take with him.  He sighed.  {{ She is so young!  Probably not more than eight.  What am I going to tell Elrond?  Bringing home a human child? }}  Suddenly she spoke up in hushed tones, "May I touch your skin?  It's so fair!  You glow like a candle!  You're the most beautiful man I've ever seen!"

Erestor chuckled, "That is because I am not a man.  I am an elf.  Yes, you may touch my skin.  I am sure it does not feel that different from yours, though.  Now, while we are getting acquainted, should you not eat?"

"Oh… uh-hmm… but I will get it myself," as she wrinkled her nose.  "Gran always gives me too many onions and not enough carrots!"  Sídhiel was obviously quite excited and did not stop talking throughout the meal.  She had found someone who seemed to be interested in her adventures and tales!

Erestor quickly warmed to the young girl.  It was hard not to like someone who was so full of life.  As Sídhiel hid a yawn when she got up to retrieve yet another collection to regale Erestor with, he took in her coloring and thought it was a bit odd for a child of Rohan.  She had unruly dark, auburn hair that was done in two plaits at her back, most of which had come undone.  Her skin was fair with a golden hue as though she spent long hours in the sun.  Her most striking feature, though, was her eyes.  They were midnight blue, almost black, and seemed to have bits of silver in them.  Almost like stars in a moonless night sky.

After another yawn from the child, Erestor chided, "I think it is far too late for one so young to be up.  You can sleep on the bed and I will sleep on the floor."

Sídhiel giggled, "That's Gran's bed.  You sleep there.  I am happy sleeping by the fire.  Goodnight, Lord Er-es-tor.  Thank you for sitting with me!" with that, she jumped up and gave Erestor a quick hug, who was too surprised to react.  As she grabbed a blanket from a chest, she called for Nim-mem, and made herself comfortable near the corner of the hearth.

With the whirlwind finally settled down, the only sound that could be heard in the little cottage was of slow, even breathing…

~~~*~~~

Erestor looked around the darkened Hall and sighed, when he suddenly felt strong arms encircle his waist and lips nuzzle his neck as his long, dark hair was moved aside, "Just what are you doing?"

"I cannot get enough of you.  Your scent, your skin, your hair, you are tantalizing," came a murmur in his ear, and Erestor felt himself shivering.  He felt soft lips brush his ear and then the tip was lightly nibbled.  He gasped, "You need to stop.  I… not… here…" and leaned into the warmth behind him, his body at war with his words.

The nibbles moved down to his chin and then onto his neck as wisps of golden blonde hair fell over his shoulder.  As the nibbles turned to suction on his throat, Erestor tilted his head, opening his neck up further to the blessed assault, and those strong hands slid under his tunic. Warm, calloused hands rubbed up his sides and brushed across small nubs already rock hard from desire.  As the hands roamed, they left a heated trail in their wake, and Erestor couldn't keep from panting as he was pulled against the hard body behind him, where an impressive hardness was gyrating against his cleft.

"You draw me like the moth to flame, lirimaer.  You set me afire."  As these words were breathed across his ear, the hands that had been teasing his nubs slid away.  One hand moved up to force his shoulders farther back and the other moved downward to slide inside his leggings.  Erestor's eyes fluttered closed and his back arched as his length was grasped and stroked, forcing soft moans to come from his lips.  "Fin, please," he begged, unsure of what he wanted.

The wanton assault continued until he thought he would spend on the spot.  He was released and he moaned at the loss of sensation.  His neck and then his ear were each lightly nipped again.  Then the hands came up and gently turned his face into the most passionate, searing kiss he had ever felt.  His mouth was ravaged as soft sighs escaped from two throats.  Tongues dueled for supremacy until the need for air broke the seal.  Another murmur, "Shhh…. it will be all right.  I will return soon," another soft kiss at the back of his neck, and then the lips, arms, and body were gone.

To keep from falling, Erestor had to grab the back of a chair next to him.  Once he steadied himself, he looked up, and there, across the hall, was Glorfindel with two Galadhrim surrounding him.  The ellon was on his lap with Glorfindel's hands down his pants while an elleth was beside him attempting to smother him with her cleavage.  Glorfindel looked up, straight into Erestor's eyes, and smirked.

Erestor stifled a cry of anguish and turned to flee, but there was no way out behind him!  The Hall of Fire suddenly seemed impossibly large as he began searching for an exit, but the only one was straight across, directly by the awful scene!  As he raced toward his escape, he made the mistake of again looking at the trio.  Glorfindel was shirtless by this time and the three were practically coupling right there on the floor!  Glorfindel looked up at him and smirked again.  Erestor began to run, no longer caring who saw him, tears streaming down his face.  He ran through the arched doorway and fell…

~~~*~~~

He jerked awake, gasping and disoriented.  It took a few moments for Erestor to realize that he had been dreaming and another moment to even remember where he was.  He was still so angry that he had to get out of the little cottage!  He raced outside and finally collapsed onto his knees, screams of anguish and fury torn from his lips, "Damn you, Fin!  Damn you!  Stay away from me!  Stay out of my life and my dreams!"   His fists were clenching and unclenching on his thighs as he tried to regain his composure and dam up the torrent of emotions the dream had unleashed.  He was still sobbing and had not noticed that he was followed, until small arms came around his neck and a little voice said, "Please don't cry, Lord Er-es-tor.  It will be okay.  You'll see."

Erestor stiffened at the touch, and then caught himself.  {{ She is but a child.  She will not harm me. }}  "Sídhiel, what are you doing out here?  You should be asleep, pen dithen."  Erestor turned and began to wipe the tears from his face.

"I heard you leave.  I followed.  You can't be alone when you're sad.  Gran says that being alone when you're sad makes the hurt grow.  Hugs make any hurt better," and she smiled.  "Besides, the moon has set.  Can I show you something that always makes me feel better?  Come on, it's not far," she said as she tugged on his arm.

Neither saw the door to the cottage close as Idhreneth turned back to her patient.  She was sure Sídhiel was safe and even more certain that she would ease whatever ailed the dark elf.

Even though both wore no shoes or cloaks, Erestor could not resist following Sídhiel.  Her hug had eased his pain.  {{ Fin, what have you reduced me to?  Needing succor from a mere child? }}

Sídhiel led Erestor up a hill behind the little cottage.  After they passed through a small grove of trees, they came out on a hillside above the plains, the Limlight glimmering below in the starlight.  "Isn't it perfect here?  I love this place.  Sit with me and tell me about the stars.  You do know about the stars, don't you?"  Sídhiel chatted as she patted the ground beside her.  She laid back and sighed, "I love the night, don't you?"

Erestor felt like there was nothing this child didn't love.  He settled down next to her.  "Yes, pen dithen, I know about the stars.  In fact, my Lord is the son of that star right up there," he said, pointing to Earendil's ship in the sky.

Sídhiel was so excited she was practically vibrating, "Is that the Mariner?  Gran told me about him once.  You know his son!  You must know everything!  Tell me more.  Please?"

They continued in this manner for awhile, until Sídhiel's questions and interjections began to get  quieter and slower.  Erestor smiled when he realized that the youngling was asleep curled up next to him.  He stretched, picked up the slumbering child, and headed back to the cottage.  He realized that Sídhiel's presence had chased away his demons.

TBC  
 **Translations:**  
Ethuil – late spring  
lirimaer – lovely one  
pen dithen – little one  
ellon – male elf  
elleth – female elf


	5. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn a little more about Sídhiel and Idhreneth.

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
 _  
 **FIC: The Reason, Part 5**  
_

  
{{ internal thoughts be between these }}

Chapter 5:

Ethuil, Northern Rohan, 2818 T.A.

The next morning, Idhreneth sent Sídhiel out to do her chores.  After seeing to Gildor, Idhreneth and Erestor sat down to a light breakfast and tea.  Idhreneth turned to Erestor and said, "I apologize if Sídhiel is troubling you.  She has never been around many people, and in truth, only a couple of males ever.  She is quite enamored of you since you have been so indulgent with her."

"No apology necessary.  I enjoy her.  It is quite refreshing to be around such an exuberant force.  She is delightful.  Why exactly do you want me to take her away from here?"

She sighed, "The reality is that Sídhiel is going to be sixteen this fall and according to village custom, that makes her 'of age'.  Well, as you can obviously see, that is ridiculous, but Beórlen doesn't care.  He has staked a claim on her for his son and I fear for her safety."

"That makes no sense.  She is no blossoming young woman.  She is but a young child.  What are you not telling me, my lady?"  Erestor could always detect lies, or even half-truths.

Idhreneth took a deep breathe and started, "Sídhiel's mother was my daughter, Iestiel.  Her father was an elf that my daughter brought home one summer.  His name was Elúvan…" at hearing that name, Erestor stiffened.  "Did you know him?" she continued.

"Possibly, but it is no matter now.  Please do go on."

"Well, he left Iestiel before any of us knew she was with child.  His departure devastated my daughter.  She barely survived long enough to birth Sídhiel.  So, I have been raising my half-Elven granddaughter in this remote village full of suspicious, superstitious, small-minded people for the last 15 years!"  She said, bitterly.  "I was pleased when she did not have his beautiful leaf-shaped ears, but her slow physical development _has_ caused talk, even if none here understand why she is as she is.  In order to spare her foul treatment, I did not reveal that she is Iestiel's child.  They believe Iestiel and Elúvan ran off together and that Sídhiel's mother was a young widow who died during childbirth.  I took in the foundling.  So far the ruse has worked, but she cannot stay here much longer.  That is why I compelled you to give me your oath.  I hope you understand.  She must be gone from here, and soon."  The desperation and urgency was unmistakable in Idhreneth's voice and though her tale was quite poignant, Erestor felt there was more, still unsaid.

"But, pen vuin, why not just take Sídhiel and leave?  Why were you counting on sheer luck to bring you a savior?  Please help me understand."

Idhreneth sighed.  She drank more tea and sat back, "That is a long story.  _My_ story.  I must stay here if I ever hope to be with Iestiel's father."   She waited for Erestor's reaction and when he just sat there, expecting more, she continued, "I guess you _should_ know the whole of it," she said, almost to herself.  "He is Léofa, the King of Rohan."

Erestor concealed his surprise, "I see.  Please go on."

"We met before he was married but after he was already betrothed.  It was too late for us.  The union was already agreed to, and even though there was no love between him and Freáwyn, they were married.  She insisted I not be allowed to stay in Edoras.  Léofa was worried for my safety as she wanted me somewhere far away.  She believed that time and distance would dim our love, but she was wrong.  So here I am.  A kept woman of a distant King who visits once a year," she laughed, sadly.  "We will be together again once she is gone," she said, a little too firmly, almost as though she was trying to convince herself of the truth of her words.

"Do you see?  I cannot just leave and take Sídhiel with me.  I have nowhere to go, and even if I were free to leave, she needs to be with Elves, my lord.  I have no idea how to find the fabled Imladris for I was oft told that it could only be found if you knew the way."

"Do you not have family that would take you in?  Would they not help?" Erestor pushed; his quick mind already working out many things about this lady.

"I am of the Dúnedain of the North.  After Sigilir, my husband, was killed, I was to be married off to an old Ranger.  I was expected to be a brood mare." She continued, angrily, "I could not.  I fled.  That was how I met Léofa.  He was Marshall of the Riddermark at the time." Her eyes sparkled as she recalled how he looked astride his horse with his helm gleaming in the sun over dark blonde locks.  "He saved me from orcs.  I have no family to return to, nor would I if I could.  They disowned me when I left.  Now that you know my story, will you keep your word?" Idhreneth was almost begging.

"My dear, I am no oath breaker.  In truth, from your tale of Sídhiel's parentage, it is possible that she may even have relatives living in Imladris.  If that is the case then it does make sense that she travel back to Imladris with Gildor and I.  What of you?  Will you just stay here, alone?  Waiting for a summons that may not come?"

At his words, Idhreneth dissolved into tears.  The years of waiting, the fear for Sídhiel's life, the loss of her daughter, the loss of her husband, and even the loss of her family all combined into a destructive force at this moment.  Erestor held her and comforted her as best he could, but it took a very long time before Idhreneth could even catch her breath.  Erestor was sorry for the torrent of emotions his questioning had unleashed but he felt that this woman needed the catharsis.  She had obviously been focused on only a single outcome never daring to think what would happen if Freáwyn outlived Léofa.

After she had cried herself to exhaustion, Erestor laid the still trembling woman upon her own bed and set about making her some sleeping tea so she could rest.  After she was truly asleep, Erestor checked on Gildor who was still unconscious.  Erestor changed his bandages as Idhreneth had shown him to and then he spooned more of the healing tea into his friend.  Erestor had never been very knowledgeable about more than rudimentary battle field aid so he was deeply grateful that she had been so diligent in her instructions to him.

It had been a taxing morning and Erestor was ready to rest himself when he heard horses outside.  He then guiltily remembered that there was a young one somewhere about that had already been gone for hours!  He strode to the door and opened it, not sure what he expected to see....

The sight that greeted him left him stunned.  Sídhiel was actually riding Naurion, _his_ temperamental steed!  She was riding Elven style around the outside of the pen, while Húron paced them on the inside of the pen.  The other horses were in the center of the pen quietly eating.  Erestor stood there, mouth agape, until Sídhiel saw him and rode over.  "Isn't he the most beautiful horse ever, Lord Er-es-tor?"  After hearing a protesting whinny from Húron, she added, "the most beautiful _black_ horse, ever.  Of course, you're the most beautiful chestnut, Húron."

Sídhiel's smile was blinding and Erestor felt himself smiling, too.  "Thank you, Sídhiel.  I've always thought Naurion was quite beautiful even if he is rather vain," he said, which earned him a snort from the black stallion.  "Tell me, pen dithen, how did you mount him and how did you learn their names?"

"They told me their names.  I think they wanted to play so Naurion helped me.  I asked if I could ride him and he got down on his knees so that I could crawl up.  Isn't he just wonderful?  Eyra's a wonderful horse, too, but she's not smart enough to bend down like that.  And she's not as elegant as your horse and she doesn't understand my words, either.  Is everything in your world so magical?"

Erestor tried to view his world through the eyes of a very sheltered, very young girl from a remote village in Rohan and he had to concede that to her, his world _would_ be full of magic, "Yes, Sídhiel, I think you would find my home quite enchanting."

"Can I come visit you sometime?  I've never gotten to go farther than Lifman and I know everything around here.  It'd be grand to get to visit your home!  Please say I can?  Please?"  Sídhiel was bouncing up and down on Naurion's back and Erestor decided that he'd save his steed from her enthusiasm so he reached up and lifted her down before answering.

He knelt in front of her so he was at her eye level.  He took her small hands in his own and looked into those trusting eyes, "I give you my word, pen dithen, you will come to my home, and soon.  Would you like to go with Gildor and me once my friend is healed?"

Sídhiel's squeals were almost ear shattering as she hugged Erestor.  And, he, for his part, was excited at the chance to get to know this exceptional child better.

TBC  
 **Translations:**  
Ethuil – late spring  
pen vuin – dear one  
pen dithen – little one


	6. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   Glorfindel has a dream and makes a confession.

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
 _  
 **FIC: The Reason, Part 6**  
_

 

{{ internal thoughts be between these }}

 

Chapter 6:

 

  
Ethuil, Imladris, 2818 T.A.  


After dinner, Glorfindel and Elrond spent a quiet evening talking about the upcoming Council and playing chess.  Elrond gave Glorfindel a slightly weaker sleeping draught and helped his friend to bed.  "Do you want me to stay again tonight, meldir?  I am glad to, but I know you prefer to be alone in the mornings."

"I will be fine.  This sludge of yours keeps the demons at bay," Fin teased as he swallowed the draught in one gulp.

"As you wish.  I will stay until you are fast asleep then." Elrond leaned down and kissed the blonde's forehead as he tucked a wayward strand behind his ear.  Once Glorfindel's breathing was slow and even, and his eyes lidded in reverie, Elrond doused the candles and quietly left the room.

~~~*~~~

Glorfindel woke and looked around.  He was somewhere familiar, but he knew not where.  He was not in his rooms, nor was he even sure he was still in Imladris.  It was very dark, as Ithil had already set, but still a long time until dawn.  As he got up and walked to the balcony, he realized that he was in Gondolin, in his old room, the old familiar scents and sounds wafting in through the doors.  He stood on the balcony and inhaled deeply of the strong floral scents coming from his gardens.  He relished the comfort given him by these sensations.

He walked back into his room, intent on getting dressed and exploring more of his old home and maybe even finding Ecthelion, when he noticed that there was already a dark mass of hair fanned across his pillows.  {{ Oh, Thel, what I have planned for you!  I missed you so, melethen.  And how thoughtful of you, already on your stomach. }}  He chuckled to himself.

Glorfindel got back into bed and threw the covers off the sleeping form.  He gazed down at the alabaster skin and began to caress the hard muscle under the soft skin.  The scent was tantalizing, and he was unable to resist leaning down and licking between the shoulder blades, and continuing down the strong back to the firm globes.  He heard a soft moan and smiled.  He crawled on top of his love and covered him with his own hardness.  As he reached to move wavy, ebony hair aside, he began to nibble at the exposed ear while rubbing his erection gently in the cleft between those firm mounds.  The low groan his ministrations elicited only further enflamed him, and he could not stop from grinding harder into the warm body beneath him.  His hands roamed over taut flesh as he nibbled down a long neck, until he was suckling at the collar bone.  The unique scent wafting through his nostrils caused his heart to skip a beat, and he bit down, and then laved the bruised skin with his tongue.  He groped for the bottle of oil usually under his pillow and quickly uncorked it.  "Oh, lirimaer, I know this is going fast, but I have missed you far too much to take as much care and time as usual," he groaned, as exquisite tightness surrounded a single, well oiled finger.  "I will make it up to you, meleth."  The pert bottom lifted and legs spread to give him easier access to the puckered opening, as sweet moans caressed his ears.  His own desire was quickly swamping him, and he had to stop and breathe deeply for a few moments or he knew he would spend before he had even begun.

 

As three fingers were moving easily in the tight passage, he reached down and stroked his own member, oiling it liberally.  He could not bear to hurt his love, yet he knew he was so inflamed with desire that this would not be a slow and easy taking.  He took one last look at the round globes and flipped his love onto his back.  "I want to see your face and kiss you as you scream my name, seron vell."  He slid between two strong, lithe thighs and leaned down to take ruby red lips in a bruising, desperate kiss, as he entered the velvet heat in one swift thrust.  There was an audible gasp from his lover, and he thrust his tongue into the sweet cavern of his love.  His heart was pounding in his ears but he would not move until his love was ready.  When the dark haired beauty beneath him thrust upwards, he snapped his hips and pulled out almost completely.  When he thrust in again, he knew he'd hit his mark from the scream that erupted from his love's lips.  He kept up that same pace, reveling in the screams and wanton abandon of his lover as he felt strong thighs grip his waist.  "By Elbereth!  You have never felt this good, melethen!  What you do to me!"  As he felt his release coming, he began stroking his lover's hardness in time with his thrusts.  "Come with me, lirimaer!  Now!"  Two souls raced across the night sky together in their completion, as his name was screamed loudly, and he cried out in a bliss he had never known before.  Before he collapsed atop his darkling love, his soul's mate, he gazed into deep, chocolate brown eyes.  "Erestor?" he whispered, and passed out.

~~~*~~~

As awareness returned to him, Glorfindel groaned at the stickiness covering his abdomen.  He was in his bed, alone, in Imladris.  It was just a dream.  As he got up, he scrubbed at the tears sliding through his tightly squeezed eyelids.  But he quickly collapsed to his knees as the entire dream replayed in his mind.  {{ Thel!  What has happened to me, seron vell?  Were we not truly in love?  Why is it that I was in Gondolin, but with another?  Please, melethen, forgive me!  I am being driven to madness by this conflict between my heart dreaming of brown eyes and my head holding onto green ones. }}

Elrond found him like that.  He sat down and pulled his dear friend to his chest as Glorfindel sobbed.  "Meldir, I should have stayed last night.  These dreams are quickly overtaking your ability to cope with them even after a sleeping draught.  You must confront your past and move on.  There is no going back, and you know this."

Glorfindel looked at Elrond and sobbed, "I can no longer do this.  This was the worst dream, not because I watched Thel die, but because I betrayed him."

"What are you talking about, meldir?  You never betrayed Ecthelion.  You both died defending your people and your city."

"No.  I have betrayed his love.  I was in Gondolin making love, but not to Thel!  Do you not understand?  I was making love to Erestor in the bed Thel and I shared!"  Glorfindel cried.

Elrond tightly held his friend against his chest and consoled him, "It is no betrayal when you find your soul mate, meldir.  Erestor must be the one.  That is the only answer as to why these dreams plague you.  Your faér is struggling to bond, to join its mate, yet you keep fighting it.  I do not believe you will get better until you let go of Gondolin and live here and now."

Glorfindel pushed his disheveled hair out of his face and looked at his friend from red rimmed eyes.  "Maybe, but I fear that I have dealt too much hurt to Erestor to ever win him back.  I was so afraid of letting Thel go, that I shoved Erestor aside.  When he professed his love for me, I threw it away.  I lied to him.  I told him that he was nothing more than another notch on my scabbard.  You see," he sighed, tears running freely down his face, "I was ruthless.  I convinced him that I just wanted to brag about bedding him, add the Chief Counselor of Imladris to my conquests.  That my sexual prowess and reputation were all I cared about.  I was quite successful in convincing him that he meant nothing to me.  I was terrified of him and what he represented, so I ensured he would never come near me again."

Elrond gasped in horror.  He had known things had gone badly between his two friends, but neither had ever spoken of what had occurred.  He knew Erestor had been hurt; practically everyone did.  The advisor had become aloof and icy in his demeanor, and he took every opportunity to be away from Imladris, but Elrond had no idea how cruel Glorfindel had been.  "Aí! What have you done?  If you can ever get him to look at you with something besides hate in his eyes, it will be a miracle."

"Maybe his forgiveness is my path to healing.  After what I did, I can expect nothing more." Glorfindel's shoulders sagged with the weight of his realization.

"Well, that may be likely, but love is an amazing force, especially between soul mates.  The Valar gifted you a mate to your féa, they may yet provide another avenue for you to be together." Elrond hoped that this was so.  He knew that Erestor had never been the same and now he understood why.  He was surprised how strong his advisor was.  Many elves had faded for lesser betrayals.

"Let me draw you a warm bath and I will bring you breakfast.  I will inform Aurvellas that exhaustion has overtaken you and that I have relieved you of your duties for a few days to give you time to recover."  The healer in Elrond took over, realizing the truth behind his words.  His friend had a serious revelation last night and needed time to process it.

Elrond rose from the floor and efficiently prepared the bath for his friend.  He sniffed the many vials of oil and settled upon a soothing lavender and chamomile scented one, and poured a generous quantity in the running water.  Once the large sunken tub was over half filled, he went to retrieve Glorfindel, who still had not moved from the floor beside his bed.  "Come along, mellon nín.  Let me help you out of your clothes and into the tub."

When Elrond reached to help his friend stand, he found that Glorfindelwas trembling.  It was obvious the was drained from his dream and the ensuing discussion.  Once Elrond had aided Glorfindel in disrobing and gotten him settled into the tub he asked, "Will you need my aid to wash your hair?"

"Nay, I will be fine," he sighed as he sank into the warm water.  "Hannon le, Elrond.  I am unable to face anyone right now.  There are others that I have hurt as well, but none more than Erestor.  I need some time alone to think."

 

TBC

 

 **Translations:**  
Ethuil – late spring  
meldir – my friend (male)  
melethen – my love  
lirimaer – lovely one  
meleth – love  
seron vell – beloved  
féa -- soul  
hannon le – I thank you 


	7. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recovery in Rohan and a revealing picnic.

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
 _  
 **FIC: The Reason, Part 7**  
_

 

{{ internal thoughts be between these }}

 

Chapter 7:

 

  
Ethuil, Northern Rohan, 2818 T.A.  


 

Shortly after dawn, Erestor was up and bustling about the little cottage, humming softly to himself.  Idhreneth stretched and walked into the sitting area.  She watched the lithe elf moving through her home.  He moved so elegantly and gracefully that he made cooking breakfast look like dancing.  She admired his ebony hair that was left loose and hung in soft waves down to the center of his back.  His skin was pale, but it glowed softly in the dim light of the cottage.  His face was perfection with high, sculpted cheekbones, full ruby red lips, and perfect arcs of ebony above large brown eyes framed by sooty, thick lashes.  She felt that those eyes could see right through her.  {{ He is so similar to Elúvan, but completely different as well.  I wonder if Sidhiel will be able to fit into their world?  Or will she forever belong in neither? }}  She sighed.

 

Erestor looked up and smiled, "I trust the sleep did you some good, pen vuin?  Are you ready for breakfast or do you just want tea right now?"

 

"Oh, just tea sounds wonderful," she said, then as her stomach growled, she laughed.  "Well, maybe the breakfast does sound marvelous, too.  I suddenly seem to be famished."  She sat at the table and continued softly, "Hannon le, Lord Erestor.  I have not talked about my past or my life in so long.  I believe I have kept my aches bottled up far longer than was healthy.  You have been so compassionate and caring to both of us;  I know that you must have been sent by the Valar for Sidhiel."

 

"Please, just Erestor.  You needed to get the past out so that you can think clearly about the future; _your_ future, as well as your granddaughter's.  There is room for more than just Sidhiel in Imladris.  I would like you to come with us.  It will ease Sidhiel's transition and you will both be safe there.  You can even correspond with your King.  We may not trade frequently with Rohan, but couriers move between Imladris and Edoras several times a year.  Think about the offer.  There is no need to decide right now, and you should eat something."  Erestor watched as surprise and many other emotions flashed across Idhreneth's features.  He had been right, the woman had never thought past ensuring her granddaughter's safety to her own future.

 

Sidhiel awoke to soft conversation and wonderful smells, her stomach growling loudly.  She giggled, "I think I ate a bear in my sleep!  What smells so yummy?"

 

"Come, pen dithen, I have cooked breakfast for us.  Take advantage for I do not oft work in the kitchen," Erestor lightly teased.

 

"Sidhiel."

 

"Yes, Gran?" she said as she sat down at the table.

 

Idhreneth was hesitant.  {{ How do I tell her without it sounding as though I no longer want her? }}  "Would you like to go with Lords Erestor and Gildor to visit their home when they leave?"

 

"Oh, yes!  Gran!  Yes!  When do we leave?"  With that she grabbed Nim-mem and began swinging the terrified kitten around the room.

 

"Sidhiel!  Put Nim-mem down!  You are scaring him!" shouted Idhreneth.

 

Between the hissing cat, the shouting grandmother, and the squealing child, it took a few moments before Erestor heard Gildor's choked out request for water.  He immediately raced to his friend's side.  "Meldir, you are awake!" Erestor held Gildor's shoulders and gave him a few sips of water as Idhreneth approached.

 

"I am glad that you have rejoined us.  This means you are well past the worst of it," she said as she smiled at him.  She checked his wound, changed the bandages, and insisted he have some more of the healing tea before he could have anything else.

 

"How long?" Gildor croaked, his voice stiff from disuse.

 

"Two days and nights.  I was beginning to worry, meldir, but I should have known you are far too stubborn to let a Wild Man's axe take you down," Erestor teased, plainly relieved.  He helped Gildor sit more upright with lots of pillows behind him so that he could feed Gildor some thick broth.  After eating about half of what he was served, Gildor began to drowse.  "Sleep.  I shall be watching over you."  Erestor smoothed Gildor's hair away from his face and laid him down gently as he brushed a kiss across his brow.

 

~~~*~~~

 

Idhreneth walked into the small cottage, "Lord Gildor, have you seen Sidhiel?  She and I must leave or we will not be back before dark."

 

"Healer, please.  I am simply Gildor.  How many times must I remind you of this?  You saved my life, pen vuin.  If anyone deserves deference, it is you."  As Gildor was speaking, he motioned with his head to the overlarge basket behind his chair and grinned, "As for Sidhiel… hmmm.  I know not when I saw her last.  Perchance she is less than enthusiastic for the trip into town?"

 

Idhreneth strode over and peered into the basket.  Two large blue eyes were looking up at her quite contritely.  "Sidhiel, stop this nonsense!  We must leave now or we will fail to return before dark.  I do not like traveling when I cannot see my nose before my face."

 

"Gran, why can't I stay here?  Er-es-tor will be back soon and Gildor's much better.  Let me stay.  Please," she begged.

 

"I need your help.  Besides, Gildor may be much improved, but he yet needs his rest.  And that is something he will not get with you around.  Come along."  Her tone brooked no argument and Sidhiel sulked out the door, wistfully looking back at Gildor.

 

"Oh, no, pen dithen, I shall not gainsay your Gran on this one.  Enjoy your day."  The door closed and Gildor sighed.  He still felt so weak!  He leaned back in the large, overstuffed chair, stretched his legs upon the ottoman and closed his eyes.

 

Erestor opened the door of the cottage and noticed his friend's taut visage.  "Gildor, are you in pain?"

 

"Nay, meldir, just so tired.  It has been almost a week, how much longer before we can leave?  Not that I mind the company, for Sidhiel is quite entertaining, but I do believe I shall go stir crazy in this place!"

 

Erestor walked up to his friend and put a hand on his shoulder.  "Mellon nín, you were very close to leaving us.  It will take time to recover, especially without Elrond's healing energy to boost your reserves.  Would it help if you could go outside and bask in the sunshine?  I will take a blanket and we can have a picnic.  If you can make it to this wonderful spot I know, then it will not be long before we can resume our journey.  How does that sound?"

 

"Divine.  Heavenly.  Let us leave now!" Gildor said as he began to struggle with his boots.

 

"Here, meldir, let me aid you with those."  Erestor knelt in front of Gildor and helped him put his boots on.

 

The two companions slowly walked to Sidhiel's favorite spot, with Gildor being supported by Erestor most of the way.  By the time they passed through the trees, Gildor was thoroughly winded and relished the idea of sitting for awhile.  A long while.  "I guess I am not as healed as I thought.  Thank you for this though.  It is lovely here."  He gazed out over the plains, the Limlight sparkling in the sunshine with the dark shapes of the Entwood barely visible on the western horizon.

 

"Sidhiel brought me to this place.  It is even more beautiful by Ithil's light."  With that, they sat down to a lovely picnic in the shade.

 

 "You are quite taken with that little imp, are you not?" Gildor smiled at the memories of hearing Erestor's deep voice reading while Sidhiel was cuddled in his lap.  He noticed how much patience his friend had with the child.  He would answer every one of Sidhiel's endless questions with a smile.  And then there was the giggling that would echo through the cottage as Erestor was crawling around on all fours pretending to be an oliphaunt and Sidhiel was the brave Southron rider trying to train him.  Gildor shook his head in amazement at the changes in his friend.

 

"Yes, I believe she has stolen my heart." Erestor took a deep breath to steady his nerves.  "All for the better, meldir, for she is returning to Imladris with us."  Erestor gauged Gildor's reaction.

 

"She and Idhreneth are coming to Imladris with us?  Why?  They have a lovely home here."

 

"Gildor, I am unsure if Idhreneth will come with us.  I have offered, but her heart lies elsewhere.  Sidhiel is a different story.  Idhreneth has asked me to take her in to rear as my own and I agreed."

 

Gildor was puzzled and confused at his long time friend offering to adopt a child.  He needed to understand the reasons.

 

"Meldir, what possessed you?"

 

Erestor smiled, "Aye, it is not like me at all is it?  The imperious, haughty, icy…"

 

"That is but a façade!" Gildor interrupted angrily.  "I know your heart, remember?"

 

"A façade yes, but it is how I have lived these past centuries.  And before that, my life was not exactly conducive to having a family, was it?"

 

"Nay, with what we do… and how likely we may never return home…" his words trailed off.  "It was not the right thing to do.  Not fair to put loved ones through that."

 

"Gildor, she is Elúvan's child."  Gildor's mouth formed an 'O'.  "I owe it to him to take in his offspring.  You know how weary and bitter he was after losing Tordil.  I am truly surprised that he took another to his bed.  That it was a mortal is most surprising!"  Erestor brushed his ebon locks away from his face.  "I like to think she made him happy for a time."

 

"What of the child's mother?  Where is she?"

 

Erestor grimaced.  "She died of a broken heart.  He left her before either knew of the babe.  She was lost without him.  Idhreneth said that she had been amazed how profoundly he affected Iestiel, her daughter.  She never thought her fiercely independent daughter could ever want another, let alone need one so desperately.  I fear they may have bonded."

 

"But humans do not mate as we do, mellon nín.  Surely that is not even possible."

 

"Perhaps not, but something happened to affect them both profoundly.  You remember seeing him one last time, that winter?  He was changed.  He was stronger and his bitterness had fled.  He was again as before the Last Alliance."

 

"Yes, I recall.  But there was still something constricting his heart.  You believe it was leaving her?"

 

"Well, when he was found, he was not between Imladris and the Havens as would have been expected if he were truly planning to sail.  He was south of Lothlórien.  What else explains that, meldir?  It had always been a puzzle to me, and now all the pieces have fallen into place."  He exhaled.  "And now his daughter will come to live with me.  It is that simple."

 

"Simple?  You are a Shadow Stalker, the best in all of Arda.  Will you give that up?  Will you stay at the Last Homely House and not leave?  The child deserves a family, at the least a father who is there for her, not wandering all Middle Earth most of the time.  You know this.  Will you be able to give up part of your identity for Elúvan's child?  He would not have done the same for yours."  Gildor's words were harsh, but he needed to know that his friend was not making a mistake.  Secretly he wanted Erestor to take this break and get his personal life back in order.  He viewed this as the perfect opportunity, but he welcomed no more grief piled on either the child or his dearest friend.  {{ Now for the hardest part. }}  He continued, "And what of our Seneschal?  You will not be able to avoid him if you remain in Imladris.  You will be forced to confront your past and move on."

 

"Gildor," Erestor's words were strained, "I _must_ do this.  I will deal with him when that time comes.  This is something that I must do.  I know you never liked my brother, with good reason, but that does not change the facts.  Sidhiel is my blood.  The only family I have left.  She deserves to be raised properly and I will do what it takes to see that happen."  Erestor finished with conviction as though he had been trying to convince more than just Gildor that this was the proper path.

 

"And what of Idhreneth?  She is kin to the child, too.  What possible reason could she have for not coming to Imladris as well?"

 

After Erestor related Idhreneth's story, Gildor shook his head and sighed.  "Nothing is ever ordinary about you, Erestor Sarnonion.  You discover lost family and they _must_ be royalty; never simple farmers for you."  Gildor was amazed at the revelations and used sarcasm to hide his astonishment. 

 

"There is yet another thing…" Erestor continued.  "Idhreneth does not know that Elúvan was my brother nor that he is dead."

 

Gildor just gaped at his friend, "What?  Why ever not?"

 

"It was irrelevant at first.  And, now, it just seems too awkward to bring up.  Yes," he sighed at the look on his friend's face, "she should know.  Perhaps once she has made her decision on whether to come with us or not."

 

"All these revelations on top of the trip up here have been draining, meldir.  Perhaps we had better start back.  As slow as I am, the ladies may arrive before us."

 

TBC

 

 **Translations:**  
Ethuil – late spring  
pen vuin – dear one  
hannon le – I thank you  
pen dithen – little one  
meldir – my friend (male)  
mellon nín – my friend 


	8. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decisions and dreams…

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
 _  
 **FIC: The Reason, Part 8**  
_

 

{{ internal thoughts be between these }}

 

Chapter 8:

 

  
Ethuil, Northern Rohan, 2818 T.A.  


 

Idhreneth stepped out into the late afternoon sun, savoring the sounds of laughter coming from the lawn.  Sidhiel was oohhing and aahhing and clapping, so Idhreneth had to take a break from packing to see whatever was causing the commotion.  When she passed the stable, there were Gildor and Erestor both shirtless, sparring in the clearing.  The speed and agility that both Elves displayed was astonishing.  Idhreneth had been raised among the Rangers of the North, but even they looked like ungainly, undisciplined brutes compared to these two as they spun and twirled and lunged.

 

With a particularly deft move, Erestor disarmed Gildor and he yielded.  Sidhiel was clapping and cheering both opponents on.  Idhreneth walked up, her healer's eye not missing how heavily Gildor was sweating and how labored his breathing was, while Erestor looked almost serene.  "Gildor, I know you feel healed, but you are not.  There is much muscle that is still recovering.  You need to give yourself time and sparring so vigorously will only serve to delay your recovery."

 

Gildor groaned.  "Aye, Healer.  From our different states, it is apparent that I still have a long road back to full health."  {{ Although Erestor always looks so composed no matter how long he has been sparring. }}

 

Erestor turned and shielded his eyes.  "You have visitors approaching, my Lady."

 

~~~*~~~

 

Shortly, two Riders of Rohan rode up to the cottage.  Sidhiel peeked from behind Erestor who stood to the Lady's left, while Gildor leaned heavily against the doorframe and watched the scene unfold.

 

"My Lady, we seek Idhreneth, the healer of Lifman."

 

"I am Idhreneth.  What do you require of me?" She stood up to her full height and tossed her single plait back over her shoulder.

 

"Only to give you a message, my Lady.  Queen Freáwyn has gone to be with her forebears one month past.  King Léofa requests that you and Sidhiel accompany us back to Edoras."

 

Idhreneth would have fainted had Erestor not been there to throw an arm around her waist and catch her.

 

Sidhiel stormed out from her hiding place and shouted, "We're not going to Edoras, no matter who asks it.  We're going to Imladris."

 

Idhreneth hissed, "Hush, child."  She looked at Erestor.  "Could you please assist my guests?  They can stay in the hut by the woods.  I... I need to sit down for a moment."  She walked into the cottage, with Gildor following, leaving Erestor, Sidhiel, and the Riders staring after her.

 

By the time Gildor had splashed water on his face and cooled off a bit, Idhreneth was sitting at the little table in the kitchen, her head in her hands, sobbing.  Gildor sat beside her and put his arm around her shoulders.  "Healer, why the tears when your heart's desire has finally come true?  Is this not what you have waited for?"

 

She looked up at him with a tear stained face.  "Oh, Gildor, this _is_ all that I have waited for but I fear for Sidhiel.  You heard her out there and you can see as well as I how attached she has become to Erestor.  He is the father she never had.  I do not desire to take that away from her, but…" she groaned, "Léofa is singularly possessive.  He will not be pleased if she does not arrive with me, especially after his direct _request_."

 

"So your plans have changed, then?" Gildor's chest constricted, somehow knowing this was not the right choice for all parties involved.

 

"Yes… no…" she looked outside, "that is the problem.  Sidhiel has blossomed under Erestor's care.  He is so good with her, teaching, playing.  I am no fool.  Léofa will not be as a father to her.  His own son was reared by others.  I do not want to part them, but I fear what Léofa's reaction would be if I send her with you."

 

"Surely, he will delight in your company and trust in your judgment, Healer.  I think you are unaware of your considerable charms.  It will be easy for you to convince him of your rationale."

 

Idhreneth smiled at his confidence and tried to convince herself that she must do what was right for her granddaughter and not worry about appeasing her lover.  There would be other ways to do that.

 

~~~*~~~

              
 

Sidhiel tagged after Erestor, trying to get him to explain what was going on, but nothing was forthcoming and that made Sidhiel supremely frustrated.  She finally gave up and stalked off.  Erestor was relieved that she left.  He was now unsure if Sidhiel would be traveling with them and he found that idea profoundly unsettling.

 

By dinnertime, there was still no sign of Sidhiel and Erestor began to worry.  He planned to go look for her when Gildor stopped him, "I will take the Riders their meal and I will find her. You two need to talk."  He gave Erestor a knowing look and nodded in Idhreneth's direction.

 

Once they were alone, Erestor turned to Idhreneth, "My friend is right, as always.  We do need to talk.  Or, more accurately, I need to talk and know that you listen."

 

"Of course, Erestor.  Whatever you have to say, I will hear you out."

 

"Idhreneth, when you mentioned the name of the elf that fathered Sidhiel I could not contain my surprise because that elf was my brother."  She gasped in shock, but Erestor continued in a rush, "I believe your daughter mattered a great deal to him and he was returning to her when he was killed.  Now I find that I have grown to care deeply for Sidhiel and do not wish her to go to Edoras.  She is my only family and I want to raise her as my own.  Please do not take her from me."  Erestor exhaled, as if he had been holding his breath tightly in order to finish.

 

Idhreneth hugged the dark elf tightly.  "Oh, Erestor, my apologies.  I had no idea.  I was so angry when he left and now… to know that he would have returned if he could."  She sighed, tears streaming down her face, "Erestor, I could not take Sidhiel from you.  Not before, and especially not knowing this.  I could not do that to either of you.  She needs to be raised by her father's people.  By _you_.  I know this.  I will return with the Riders alone and you three will go to Imladris.  Just please make sure she writes to me of her life."

 

~~~*~~~

 

  
Ethuil, Imladris, 2818 T.A.  


 

Elrond leaned back and exhaled while stretching his neck.  "Saelbeth, I know Erestor can work without cease but I cannot.  I need a break.  Shall we stop for lunch?  We can resume in a few hours."

 

Saelbeth didn't have to be told twice.  "That sounds wonderful, híren.  I will return in two hours.  Thank you."  He laid down his work and quickly left the study.  He hadn't been able to share a mid-day meal with Silamothien more than a handful of times since the Chief Advisor had left and he was not going to miss this opportunity.

 

Elrond smiled, glad that some of the residents of Imladris had good, solid relationships.  He caught a passing servant and requested a meal be prepared and delivered to Glorfindel's room as he walked to his chambers to freshen up.  Soon he was knocking at Glorfindel's door, but his knock went unanswered.  Elrond pushed the door open, "Meldir?"  When there was no answer he walked farther into the room, "Glorfindel?"  Still no answer.

 

The food arrived at that moment and he motioned to the low table in front of the fireplace.  Once the repast was set up, the servant left.  Elrond thought he heard something in Glorfindel's private bathing chamber.  "Fin?  Are you all right?"  In a moment, Glorfindel was standing in front of him with a towel around his waist, vigorously toweling his hair dry.  "Ah, meldir, I was worried when there was no answer.  I took the liberty of having food brought here, if you can stand to dine with me yet again."  He reached the table and opened the mild, fruity wine.  "Care for a glass?"

 

"Hannon le, for everything.  These past days off have not eased my mind as I had wished; even so, I feel the need to return to my duty," Glorfindel said as he was stepping into light leggings.

 

Elrond replied, "It does not appear as though you are sleeping any better.  How can you consider returning to your duties?"  His Seneschal had dark circles under his eyes which had an almost haunted look in them.   His skin was flushed from the bath, but still had a wan look to it instead of its normal healthy glow.

  
Glorfindel gritted his teeth to keep his composure, "I need the physical distraction.  I was obviously not made for enforced relaxation.  I am a warrior.  It is not just what I do.  It is who I am.  I was sent here to defend you, your family, and this realm and I must get back to it no matter what," he finished.

 

"The sleeping draught is no longer easing your nights?"

 

Glorfindel pushed his wet hair away from his face.  "No…  I may no longer dream of my own death, but this dream is far worse, more insidious.  It saps me greatly.  I need to do something.  My duty will provide that.  Please." He almost begged for Elrond's approval.

 

"Meldir, maybe I should strengthen the potion?  Do you want to tell me about it?"

 

"No!  No more potions.  They dull my senses and fail to keep the dreams at bay any longer," he barked out.  "Of course I do not wish to talk about it, but I feel as though I must.  Maybe in the light of day it will not hold such power over me…"

 

"It is Tarnin Austa in Gondolin.  I have arrived at the House of the Fountain to escort Ecthelion to the rites.  But something is wrong.  When I arrive, he is angry with me.  Hurt.  He seems to think that I took another lover to my bed, _our_ bed.  Once he accuses me, I realize that I had dreamt that exact thing.  I guess guilt showed on my face.  He wilted, no longer angry, just terribly hurt, lost.  We do not attend the rites together.  He will not go with me.  He will not listen.  I hear his final words, barely audible, but terrifying as he pushes me out the door, "You have taken all that I have, all that I am.  I will find no peace in this life.  Námarië, maethoren valthen."  Then the scene shifts and I glimpse Thel through the chaos and smoke.  I watch him battle Gothmog, and just before he falls, he turns to me and says, 'Release me.'  I can hear him across the courtyard and over the battle sounds, just as though he had whispered in my ear.  Then I watch him die yet again; his blood on my hands."  Glorfindel was sobbing, cradling his head in his hands.  Elrond had his arms around the trying to soothe him.

 

"Mellon nín, maybe this is the sign you have needed from Ecthelion.  Maybe he is trying to tell you that it is over between the two of you, and is asking you to release him so that you each can find love again; he in Aman, you here."  Elrond was ever hopeful.

 

"If only that were all of it…"

 

"There is more to this dream?  Aíya, no wonder you cannot sleep."

 

"It continues, giving me no respite.  As actually happened that day; I collapse at Thel's fall, but it is not my guard that rushes me out of the city as Tuor signals the retreat.  It is Erestor.  He helps me and all I do is cry for Ecthelion on the heights of Cirith Thoronath.  In front of all those fleeing, Erestor has pulled me to safety and I bemoan another.  The hurt in those eyes is wrenching.  Instead of me fighting the demon, Erestor grabs my sword and slays the beast.  He whispers through his pain, 'I loved you,' and then the monster's whip grabs him and he is gone; his blood on my hands as well.  I am left alone, bereft, to wait for ages knowing I will never have either of them.  I stand on the heights and watch as the sea claims the ruins of Gondolin."  All emotion had left the .  His voice was hollow and quiet.  He was spent, drained, with nothing left to give.

 

Elrond gazed at his friend and tightened his arms about him.  "We will find a way through this, mellon nín, together.  Perhaps you are right about returning to your duties.  At least physical activity will tire you such that you may find rest and possibly ease these dreams.  Maybe you should try sparring this afternoon."  He looked into lost blue eyes and said, "Erestor will be home soon.  I will speak to him the moment he arrives.  You do not have to face this alone."

 

Glorfindel could only nod, for all words had fled.

 

"Come let us enjoy this food and wine.  You will not fare well if you do not eat."

 

{{ This must end.  I will speak to Gildor and Erestor when they return. }}

 

TBC

 

 **Translations:**  
Ethuil – late spring  
pen vuin – dear one  
hannon le – I thank you  
pen dithen – little one  
meldir – my friend (male)  
mellon nín – my friend  
Tarnin Austa – Summer Solstice celebration in Gondolin  
námarië – farewell (Quenya)  
maethoren valthen – my golden warrior

 


	9. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Partings and new beginnings...

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
 _  
 **FIC: The Reason, Part 9**  
_

 _internal thoughts be in italics_  
 **bold is used for emphasis**

Chapter 9:

Ethuil, Northern Rohan, 2818 T.A.

As the last of their packs were loaded, Idhreneth called to Erestor, "Could I have a last word with you, Milord?" her tone had been formal with both elves these last few days as she didn't want there to be the least hint of impropriety to be delivered to her jealous lover.

Sídhiel was unmercifully questioning the two Riders about everything and Gildor was chuckling at the discomfort some of her questions were causing.

"Pen vuin? Are you having doubts?" Erestor was still fearful that Idhreneth could not let her granddaughter go. He knew that he would not have been able to were he in her shoes.

"Oh, no, not at all. I just wanted to give you these and there has been nary a moment when Sídhiel was not underfoot." She handed Erestor two leather bound journals. "They are for her when she reaches adulthood. This first one I started. It tells of my life and family and all that I am, up through Iestiel's youth. This one continues from that point up to now, even Iestiel had a hand in some of it…" she swiped at tears beginning to form, "it has all of Sídhiel's life in it. I want her to know a bit about her mother's family, about **me _._** " With that, her resolve crumbled and the tears came fast and furious. Erestor just held her and let her cry it out. She straightened and Erestor used his cloak to wipe the tears away.

"I will save these for her majority celebration. She will not forget you. I will see to that. And, if all goes well, maybe there can be visits. There will definitely be letters. Have no fear, Idhreneth. You are doing the right thing. You will have the wonderful life you deserve with your love and Sídhiel will grow up among her father's kin."

She smiled up at him, "Hannon le, for everything. We'd best go now before Sídhiel pesters my escort to distraction!"

Sídhiel ran up to Idhreneth and Erestor and threw her arms around her grandmother, "Gran, I'm going to miss you. I love you!"

"I love you, too, honey. You behave for Lords Erestor and Gildor."

"I will, Gran. I want you to take Nim-mem with you so you won't be alone. He'll keep you company for me," Sídhiel handed the little black bundle to Idhreneth.

"Oh, sweetie, are you certain you can do without this little guy?"

"Yes, Gran. I will have Gildor and Erestor to keep me company during the trip. You have to travel with those two and they aren't very good company," Sídhiel scowled at the Riders.

"Thank you, honey. I will take good care of him. Give us a hug and kiss," they hugged each other tightly until one of the Riders cleared his throat.

"My Lady, travel time is wasting…"

~~~*~~~

From the back of her mount, Sídhiel waved at her Gran one last time as they turned and rode in opposite directions. At their good byes, Sídhiel had begun to realize that she was embarking on a new life without her Gran. Erestor watched his young ward as she valiantly struggled not to cry. "Pen dithen, perhaps you would enjoy riding with me on Naurion for awhile? He is much taller than Eyra and you can see farther from his back."

She only nodded because words would not come. They stopped and she clambered into Erestor's arms. As they began moving again, Erestor whispered to her, "It is normal to be sad. This is the only home you have known. I do not think it means you do not love me, my sweet." He tightened his arms around her and looked into the large blue eyes which were overflowing with tears. "I am here for you and always will be. Would you like for us to race against Gildor and see how fast Naurion can run?" He smiled conspiratorially, and winked.

Sídhiel nodded, the tears instantly ceasing.

"Well, mellon nín, think your old bones can beat us to the Limlight? If you do, we prepare dinner. If not, you prepare the evening meal. What say you?" Erestor was laughing now, his thighs tensing, ready to give the command to sprint.

Gildor looked at the now laughing pair and answered the challenge, "Aye! But you must catch me first!" he said as he shot off.

Sídhiel was surprised, but Erestor was not and Naurion quickly passed Húron, "Oh, meldir, since you will be so far behind, make sure Eyra keeps up, will you?" Erestor teased as they flew past.

Gildor laughed. It was so good to see his dearest friend happy. He silently thanked the Valar for his injuries which had brought them here. And, now even though they were going home, Erestor's enthusiasm had not been quelled. That was a very good sign.

~~~*~~~

Their first day of travel was pleasant with good weather and easy riding. Time passed quickly because of Sídhiel's constant questions about everything they passed. When she finally dozed in Erestor's arms, Gildor exhaled loudly and said, "Finally! Some quiet. I do believe my ears need the rest as well."

Erestor chuckled quietly and looked down at the sleeping form in his arms, "She does have a hard time containing her excitement. We will work on that through the safe parts of our journey, meldir. She will be able to ride quietly if needed, I assure you."

Shortly before dark they stopped to make camp in a nook sheltered between large standing stones. Even though Gildor had lost the race, all three pitched in to setup camp and prepare dinner. The easy camaraderie and efficiency of the two Elves comforted Sídhiel and she quickly grew sleepy after eating. Erestor tucked the child into her bedroll and returned to the fire.

Gildor watched him as they quietly talked, "You are more at ease than I have seen you in a long time, mellon nín. It does my heart good to see you thus. I hope this mood does not flee at the borders of Imladris."

"I am content as I have not felt in so long. It is funny how quickly that little one filled a hole that I did not even realize I had. This is not just a passing mood that can dissipate so easily. All will be well, even in Imladris."

"Good. That makes me content as well. Now, I claim the first watch." Gildor stood and stretched brushing a light kiss to Erestor's head as he walked by.

Erestor cuddled up next to Sídhiel and reverie quickly overtook him.

~~~*~~~

They reached the edge of Lothlórien by early afternoon and made it to Caras Galadhon by that evening. None could help but smile at Sídhiel's reaction to the ancient woods. She easily enchanted their Galadhrim escort with her awestruck smile and quiet questions. Remembering the upcoming Council, Erestor hoped that they had arrived in time to travel with Galadriel and Celeborn's retinue to Imladris, but he learned that the Lord and Lady had left a full two days earlier.

They were led to a large, comfortable guest talan with a sitting area and spacious bedroom. Just walking into the Golden Wood had given both elves a respite from their constant vigilance. To have the luxury of a hot bath, good food, and a bed nestled high in the mellyrn as well instantly highlighted how long it had been since they had completely let down their guard. No matter how comfortable Idhreneth's cottage was, it was not sheltered and secure like being in the heart of one of the greatest of the Elven realms.

Sídhiel was standing at the railing gazing in rapt silence at the beauty of the Golden Wood whilst it was wrapped in night's sweet embrace. She could not take her eyes from the silvery lights that wrapped all the telain and paths in misty halos. And, if she was very still, she could hear beautiful music seeming to come from all around her and delving deep into her very being. Erestor walked up to the child cautiously for he had never known her to be so still for so long, not even in sleep. "Pen neth, are you well?"

She shook her head as if to wake from a dream and looked up into Erestor's face. His hair hung loose in soft waves to the middle of his back. A slight breeze was playing with tendrils around his face. His face glowed like Ithil in the silvery lantern light and his eyes were deep, dark pools with warmth and love radiating from them. His red lips were curved in a questioning smile.

She replied in a hushed, almost reverent voice, "I am perfect. This place is so magical! I hear beautiful songs all around me and I wish I could join in."

"One day, pen neth, I have no doubt that your voice will be joined in our songs, as well. Now, off to bed with you. It is getting late and we must depart early." He gently steered her to a sleeping couch behind a screen in the sitting area. "You will be quite cozy here. Gildor and I will be in the next room if you need anything during the night. We are close; we will hear you even if you whisper your need. Sweet dreams." He tucked the blanket around her chin and placed a tender kiss on her brow. The magic of Lothlórien had soothed her so that she was almost instantly deep in slumber.

~~~*~~~

"Would you care for another glass, meldir?" Gildor's question brought Erestor out of his musings. Erestor shook his head. "So what are you thinking of, old friend? You have not been the best company this night," Gildor lightly teased.

"Maybe I am just tired. It has been a long journey. Truthfully? I was contemplating if this place would not be a good home for Sídhiel. After all, this is where her father lived and served." Erestor sipped his wine and rubbed the back of his neck as if trying to ease the knots there.

"Tired? Or thinking of running again, mellon nín? You said you would deal with Glorfindel when that time came. Are you now having doubts?" Gildor walked behind Erestor and began to knead his neck and shoulders. The muscles there were tightly bunched and filled with tension. He knew his hands would ease the sting of his words.

"I am not running! I just… oh… that is lovely…" Erestor almost purred as the tension eased under Gildor's careful ministration.

"Come to bed, mellon nín, if you stretch out I can reach **all** your aching muscles." The words brushed quietly past Erestor's ear, making him shiver at their intent. _Gods! How long has it been? Far too long, but it shall be longer still._

"Gildor," Erestor said as he stood, realizing just how near Gildor was, "I… I appreciate the offer, meldir, but I must decline. I am not yet ready."

Gildor had always found Erestor beautiful and enjoyed their intimacy. He had hoped that Erestor was making progress in this area, "How long will you deny yourself? Why do you punish yourself so?" He brushed his lips softly against Erestor's own. "It is only I. We have done this many times in the past. It does not change our friendship."

"I cannot." Erestor choked out the words and buried his face in Gildor's neck. "That damn Elda still holds sway over me, and I would not do that to you, mellon nín."

Gildor embraced his friend tightly, "Then we wait until you are ready. Come, I will still give you a massage so that you can relax and find peace, at least for tonight."

TBC

 **Translations:**  
hannon le – I thank you  
mellon nín – my friend  
meldir – my friend (male)  
mallorn/mellyrn (pl) – giant trees of Lothlórien  
pen neth – young oneEthuil – late spring  
talan/telain (pl) – the wooden platforms in the trees of Lothlórien where the Galadhrim dwelt.


	10. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Traveling and budding relationships…

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
 _  
 **FIC: The Reason, Part 10**  
_

 

 _internal thoughts be in italics_  
 **bold is used for emphasis**

Chapter 10:

  
Ethuil, Imladris, 2818 T.A.  


 

Glorfindel returned to his duties and began more vigorous physical activity.  This, combined with the sleeping draught and Elrond's company throughout the nights, made his dreams more manageable.  Elrond still worried for his Seneschal so he used lunch as an excuse to check on him.  It came as no surprise when Elrond arrived at Glorfindel's door carrying a tray with a selection of cheeses, meats, breads, sweets, and a bottle of wine on it.

 

"Ready for lunch, meldir?"

 

The pair enjoyed pleasant conversation and a good meal.  It was a daily respite that they both needed.  As the wine dwindled, Elrond noticed that Glorfindel began to fidget.  "Is there anything amiss?"

 

"Uhm… Elrond, has Erestor returned?  I assume he is avoiding me, and I was just wondering how he fared?"

 

Elrond blanched, unsure how the truth would be received, "They have not returned, Fin.  And, there has been no sign of them."

 

"They are terribly over due!  Erestor is never late without informing us.  Never."  Glorfindel jumped up as if to set off to find the pair, when Elrond pulled him back down.

 

"And just what could you do right now to bring them home?  They are both quite capable of taking care of themselves and you know that.  I have sent search parties out as far as I dare.  Now, we just must wait."

 

"What?!  You have deployed my troops without informing me?" Glorfindel shouted, as he banged his fist on the table.  Luckily he caught his wine glass before it toppled.  "What other decisions have you excluded me from?!"

 

"Glorfindel," Elrond chastised, "you are not exactly at your best right now, nor is your emotional state concerning Erestor dispassionate.  I felt it best if I went to Aurvellas directly with this.  He is quite capable of handling these things with discretion.  The last thing that we need right now is for word to get out that my Chief Advisor has gone missing and my Seneschal is ailing."

 

"Bloody hell, Elrond!  You are probably right, but as your Seneschal, their safety is my responsibility.  I despise waiting.  A sparring session sounds perfect **now**.  By your leave, híren," he said, and with that, he stormed out of the room.

 

Elrond poured the last of the wine into his glass and downed it.  **_That_** _could have gone better._

 

~~~*~~~

 

He was finishing a carefully crafted letter when strong arms surrounded him.  "Lirimaer, do you think of nothing but work?"  Soft lips traced from the base of his neck up to nibble at his ear.

 

"My dear Seneschal, the messenger leaves at first light, I cannot delay this task."

 

His chair was turned and his lap filled with a strong golden form, "Not even for a short while?"  His lips were seized in a bruising, plundering embrace, leaving him moaning.  "I want you… here… now."

 

"Who decides that you always get what **you** want?" He murmured, his desire obvious as his hardness pushed against the 's thigh.  He growled as he pulled those soft pink lips down to be licked.

 

Glorfindel groaned and threw his head back, opening his neck up to Erestor's attention, "Gods!  You turn my blood to molten fire, morvir nín!"  Erestor immediately began sucking and licking from the collar bone up to an enticing ear tip.

 

"Aíya, you are too distracting.  Leave me now.  I must finish this," he tried to push Fin up from his lap.

 

 "No you must finish this," the Seneschal growled, as he took the dark elf's hand and pressed it against his arousal.

 

His resolve gone, Erestor rubbed the throbbing member eliciting a soft moan.  They stood.  Erestor slid the bolt in the lock and turned to view his golden warrior, dark eyes drank in tousled golden hair, sky blue eyes darkening with desire, kissed bruised lips, golden skin flushed pink.  Erestor walked over and their lips brushed together in a tender kiss.  As Glorfindel moaned, Erestor pushed his tongue in and swept it around the sweetness there.  While they were kissing Erestor quickly unclasped the 's clothes and dropped his tunic to the floor.  When they broke, gasping, to breathe, Erestor quickly pulled Glorfindel's shirt over his head.  Once the was standing, shirtless, Erestor could no longer contain his desire.  He reached out and stroked the rippling muscles before him, lightly twirling two nubs in his fingers before pulling the hard body to him for another searing kiss as he unlaced the leggings before him.

 

"You are so wondrous to behold, maethoren valthen," he said as he knelt in front of the glorious body, pulling the leggings down as he slid his tongue over the newly exposed skin.  The dark elf pulled the boots and leggings off together.  When he looked up, Fin's arousal stood jutting proudly from soft golden ringlets where he nuzzled, inhaling the Seneschal's unique spicy scent.

 

Glorfindel looked down and their eyes met as Erestor swallowed his hardness to the base in one swift movement, causing the

's knees to buckle and forcing him to grasp the desk to stay upright.  The sight of those ruby red lips taking in all he had to offer while staring into chocolate orbs half-lidded with lust turned his desire white hot.  Fin pulled back, gasping.  "Please.  I must have you.  Now, lirimaer."  They began to unbuckle Erestor's robes as the Seneschal pushed the dark elf toward the large sofa, leaving a trail of clothes in their midst.

 

When Erestor's legs hit the sofa he fell back, pulling Fin down upon him.  As pale, cool skin met warm golden flesh, desire swamped the two elves and a war of frantic, desperate kissing, groping, and fondling began with soft sighs accompanying louder moans.  Erestor closed his eyes enjoying the onslaught of delight the golden one was treating him to.  When his arousal was engulfed by that warmth, he cried out, unable to contain the shout as he arched into the delicious sensation.  Fin expertly brought him close to completion but pulled away and pressed down hard at the base of his arousal to stem his release, "Wait for me, morvir nín.  Do you have oil?"

 

Barely able to speak, the Advisor motioned toward the window sill upon which sat many beautiful cut glass vials throwing rainbows on the ledge.  The Seneschal leaped up, grabbed one and rushed back to cover the dark elf with his body, taking the soft lips in a sweet kiss as he poured oil into his hand.  He reached down and pressed a single digit into the puckered opening as he suckled the ear tip in front of him.  Crooking his finger he quickly found his mark as the elf below him bucked up forcing their arousals together.  "Aíya, I cannot resist you.  You undo me."  As he ground his hips down, another finger was pushed into the quivering channel, twisting and stretching.

 

Finally, three well oiled fingers were moving easily in the tight passage.  As Fin reached for the oil, it was instead taken by an alabaster hand which stroked and oiled his hardness.  Fin moaned at the sensation and quickly moved between Erestor's thighs.  He pulled one long leg over his shoulder and slowly pushed into the tight sheath.  Once completely housed, he stilled, attempting to gain control so that he could make this last.

 

When he opened his eyes, he gazed into deep brown ones filled with desire.  At a nod from the dark elf, he pulled back and thrust in at an angle.  His aim was true for the dark elf below him moaned and bucked into the thrust.  That was the signal and the two elves began moving in an ancient dance.  As his movements became more erratic, the Seneschal reached down and grasped the straining member between them, stroking firmly.  Both elves climaxed together, hot seed spurting between them, "Fin!" bursting from the dark elf's throat.

 

~~~*~~~

 

Erestor sat up in the starlit talan, his cry waking Gildor.  He was trembling, so Gildor wrapped his arms about him, Erestor's recent release and emotions having destroyed the dark elf's control.  "By the Valar, Gildor, my body has not behaved thus in millennia.  Why now?"

 

"Perhaps it is the knowledge that you cannot run away again once we arrive in Imladris.  Mayhap it has been far too long since you found comfort in the arms of another.  You were always a warm, sensual being.  You craved being touched, caressed.  This enforced celibacy is not helping matters, of that I am certain."  Gildor's tone was light, attempting to ease his friend's discomfort.

 

Erestor groaned, "And now I have made a mess of the sheets and myself.  Aíya, I need to clean up."

 

Gildor went to the bathing chamber to retrieve a wet cloth which he handed to Erestor.  He then pulled the soiled sheet off the bed as Erestor changed into fresh sleeping pants.  Gildor covered them both with the blanket as he settled down behind Erestor pulling the dark elf close to him.  "Mellon nín," Gildor began hesitantly, "if Fin ever changed his ways and asked for your forgiveness, could you gift him with it?"

 

Erestor's lips formed a thin line, "Why do you ask such a thing?  He will never change.  That is not something I must consider being faced with."

 

"Where is the Advisor who considers all possibilities before they could ever hope to materialize?  Why on Arda are you so incapable of using that magnificent brain of yours when it comes to matters of your heart?" his words had come out too harsh and he could see that they had cut deeply as dark eyes glittered with wetness.  "Erestor…. Please…. I apologize.  Damn it!  I miss you.  I miss Fin.  The way we all used to be.  I want you whole and happy.  I do not believe you can be either while you continue to cling to the past, unable to forgive or forget."

 

Tears were silently coursing down alabaster cheeks, as Erestor whispered, "I do not know how to answer you.  I loved him.  I am still in love with him.  Could I forgive him if he asked?  I know not.  No one had ever held dominion over my heart before and he used that power to utterly shatter me."

 

The total despair in Erestor's voice hurt Gildor deeply, like a knife twisting in his heart.  _This must end.  When I return to Imladris, Elrond and I must do something._   "Sleep now, meldir.  I am here and I will take care of you.  Just rest."  He spooned up behind Erestor's body and held the dark elf tightly as both slipped into reverie.

 

Neither realized that a small figure behind a screen sat with her knees tucked up under her chin, tears running down her face.  Erestor's shout had woken Sídhiel, as well.

 

~~~*~~~

 

Even though they had set out early the next morning, Erestor was pushing their mounts hard.  He had realized how overdue they were.  He knew that Elrond would be beside himself with worry especially when the Lord and Lady arrived and had no word of them.  He kept a watch on Sídhiel, but she was traveling comfortably.  When she would grow weary, he would pull her in front of him, holding her so that she could sleep.  That allowed them to travel without stopping as often, so they made good time.  They made it to the foothills under in a little over two days, but they still had not caught up with the Lord and Lady.

 

As they settled into a comfortable routine, Sídhiel was less talkative and more watchful.  When they were halfway through the mountain crossing and had finally found an uninhabited cave to make camp in, Sídhiel noticeably sighed with relief.  Six straight days of riding were obviously wearing on the child's normal exuberance.  Once off Eyra's back, she dropped down on the cave floor and almost instantly fell asleep.

 

The smells of cooking set her stomach to grumbling and woke her.  She looked around and noticed that the cave was warm and dry and much larger than she had realized.  There was even a section toward the front that the horses were standing in.  The entrance was veiled in shadows, but it looked as though there were bushes covering it for concealment.

 

She got up, stretched, and walked toward the fire to join the others.  When she arrived, Erestor handed her a cup of cool water and a still sizzling hunk of rabbit on a skewer.Sídhiel sat on a rock next to Erestor and ate in silence.  Even this simple fare tasted exquisite to the young child and she ate it all quickly.  When she had finished and was licking her fingers, she looked to Erestor and asked shyly, "Er-es-tor who will I live with when we arrive in Imladris?"

 

Erestor was startled by the question, but answered easily, "Why me, of course.  Unless there is someone else you would rather have take care of you?  Mayhap Gildor?"

 

She smiled, "No.  Gildor is nice, but I want to live with you."  She hesitated, and then said, "And I want you to be my .  Will you be?  I've never had an Adar before."

 

He looked down at the blue eyes shining in the fire light, "Oh, my sweet one!  I would be honored to be your !  It would make me so happy to have you as my iell."  He reached over and hugged her tightly.

 

The next four days of travel were quiet and uneventful with no sign of orcs.  Erestor was relieved and assumed that the Lord and Lady's guard had cleared the way for them.  He was ever vigilant on this pass after what had happened to Celebrían. 

 

TBC

 

 **Translations:**  
Ethuil – late spring  
meldir – my friend (male)  
híren – my lord  
lirimaer – lovely one  
morvir nín – my dark jewel  
maethoren valthen – my golden warrior  
mellon nín – my friend  
iell -- daughter 


	11. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arrivals and introductions…

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
  
_internal thoughts be in italics_   
**bold is used for emphasis**

Chapter 11:

Ethuil, Imladris, 2818 T.A.

"Híren, The Lord and Lady are approaching."

"Thank you, Saelbeth. Are the barracks ready for their guards?"

"Yes, the stables, dining hall, council chambers, and guest quarters are all prepared. We are well ready for this Council. I took the liberty of sending someone to inform Lord Glorfindel of their approach as well." Saelbeth was proud that he had managed to handle this task so competently with Erestor gone. He felt that the chief advisor worked far too much and needed someone he could trust to rely on. Saelbeth intended to prove that he was that someone.

"Wonderful. You have done very well these past weeks. I do appreciate your efforts and how you have so easily taken on extra duties." Elrond was pleased at how well Saelbeth had taken over while Erestor has been gone. It would make things easier if Erestor finally leaves as he had been threatening. "Let us go greet them then, shall we?"

The pair turned down the hallway and headed for the front steps, where they encountered Glorfindel already standing in wait. "Híren, Saelbeth, is there a formal dinner scheduled for tonight, or are you waiting until the Mirkwood delegation arrives?"

Saelbeth replied, "I took the liberty of scheduling something small and informal tonight in the family dining hall, since I expect the Lord and Lady will be quite tired from their journey."

Elrond raised a single eyebrow at Saelbeth's initiative as he intoned, "I am certain they will appreciate your thoughtfulness." _Erestor does know how to pick his staff. I must tell him when he gets back how well Saelbeth has acquitted himself._

~~~*~~~

  
As Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel rode into the courtyard, Elrond noticed that his sons, Elladan and Elrohir, had ridden in with their grandparents and seemed to be chatting quite happily with the three Galadhrim near them. Elrond smiled, for he was genuinely glad to see his sons home and in one piece.

After the greetings, Elrond motioned Saelbeth to lead the guests to their rooms. Before Saelbeth could begin, Glorfindel spoke directly to Haldir, Orophin, and Rúmil, "Are you three staying in the guest quarters in the house or in the barracks near the warriors?" Galadriel's eyes narrowed at the almost suggestive way this question came out, but the Elda just gave her a blinding smile as Elrond silently groaned. Please behave, Fin! I know her request angered you, but please.

Saelbeth detected the tension and quickly stepped in, "My Lord Glorfindel, I had assumed they would be staying in quarters next to their Lord and Lady." He then turned to the three, "I am truly sorry if that is not what you desired. I can rearrange accommodations tomorrow if that will be satisfactory." He finished smoothly.

"Thank you, Master Saelbeth," Haldir answered. "I am certain that whatever rooms you have set up for us will do nicely for the entire trip. Please do not trouble yourself on our account." Haldir saw Galadriel's involvement in this exchange and he was not pleased with her intervention, but he would never go against his Lady's wishes. If she wanted him near her and away from the barracks, so be it.

Elrond grinned, thoroughly pleased with Saelbeth. _Yes, Erestor must know how insightful and quick Saelbeth is. He handled this almost as well as Erestor himself could have._

~~~*~~~

  
After a pleasant meal spent in the family dining hall, the guests retired to their rooms, and Elrond and Glorfindel enjoyed the rest of the evening in quiet conversation over a deliberately slow game of chess. Once his seneschal and captain of the Imladris guard had defeated him yet again, Elrond insisted that the evening was over. He gave his friend another sleeping draught and helped him to bed. As he climbed into the bed to hold the Elda throughout the night, the Peredhel's thoughts drifted to Gildor and Erestor. He prayed that they were safe and there was a good reason for the delay.

~~~*~~~

  
Aurvellas was enjoying his morning ritual, savoring a strong cup of tea as he watched the first glimpse of Anor peaking into the valley. As seneschal, Glorfindel was normally an early riser, so Aurvellas had gotten into the habit of rising before the dawn to insure that he would have some moments of peace before duty called. Lately, due to Elrond's potions, the seneschal was never available until after the morning meal, so Aurvellas used this "free" time to make his rounds, checking that all was well within and around the Last Homely House. Even though no overt transfer of duties had occurred, Aurvellas knew of Glorfindel's ills and immediately stepped in to help relieve his burden by personally insuring the security of the realm.

Once he was satisfied that nothing was amiss on his circuit, Aurvellas hurried to the office he shared with the captain. Glorfindel hated paperwork and was not particularly organized with it, so to save himself from having to redo work, Aurvellas would try to get most of it out of the way before his captain came in. It was an arrangement that seemed to work well for both of them, allowing Glorfindel the time for those things for which he truly excelled and saving Aurvellas time from having to redo incomplete or incorrect reports.

As he placed the last inventory report on the stack to be delivered to Saelbeth, he heard a flurry of activity and horses in the courtyard. He wondered who would be arriving this early, as the morning meal had not yet begun. When he arrived, the Mirkwood delegation was riding into the courtyard. Worse yet, there was no one on the steps of the Last Homely House to meet them! Aurvellas cursed under his breath and quickly raced to greet the guests. As he passed a page, he instructed the young one to hurry into the house and alert Master Saelbeth and Lord Elrond. He did not desire for the Mirkwood advisors to feel slighted at the lack of proper decorum in their reception.

Aurvellas straightened his braids and tunic as he rushed to receive the delegation. He was not dressed in formal robes, but luckily his morning circuit was less eventful than normal, so he was still fairly presentable. When he looked up, he was stunned into momentary inaction, for there in front of him was not simply Prince Legolas and a few advisors, but King Thranduil himself! There was no mistaking that the golden haired ellon astride the prancing stallion was the ruler of Mirkwood.

"Your Highness, this is a most unexpected honor." He bowed formally and then continued, "We were unaware that you would personally attend the Council. Accept my humble apologies that we were not prepared to attend you properly this morning. Normally our scouts are more thorough than this." _This is not a good start to repairing relations between our realms._

The king fluidly dismounted and turned his horse over to the stable hand who suddenly appeared next to him. He smirked at how flustered the dark haired ellon in front of him appeared to be at their early arrival, or maybe just at his presence. "It is no matter. Your scouts could not report on our arrival because we rode in with them. A large party of yrch was spotted not far from your borders. I felt that all would be better served if we rode straight through to report this instead of attempting to rid Arda of those accursed beasts ourselves."

At his words, four more blond ellyn dismounted and stood next to the King. "Ah, this is my youngest, Legolas," he said, his pride obvious, as he nodded toward the beautiful blond who bore a strong resemblance to his father. "This is Lammaen, my Chief Advisor, and his right hand, Tegilbor," he said, as he nodded in turn to each of the other two ellon who were dressed in formal robes instead of leggings. "And, this is Himmion, Captain of my guard," he said as he gestured to a tall ellon with dark blond hair who was dressed in the greens and browns of Mirkwood. "And, now that you know us, would you care to introduce yourself?" The king's eyes glinted with barely concealed delight at the reaction his words were sure to have, while his features were a cool mask of indifference. He stood casually, with his arms folded over his chest.

Aurvellas silently groaned, "Aí, your Highness, I am deeply sorry for my ungracious welcome. I am Aurvellas, Second to Lord Glorfindel of Imladris. As must be plain by now, I am no diplomat, but simply a warrior. I am unused to the protocol for formal receptions."

Thranduil was indeed delighted at Aurvellas' reaction. The warrior had blushed lightly, tinting his fair skin pink, which only accentuated his light grey eyes. Thranduil licked his lips at the brown haired warrior whose strong, broad frame was in such contrast to his gentle features and soft lips. _This might be more enjoyable than I expected._ His gaze swept slowly over the warrior taking in every sinew, every twitch of the hard muscles before him.

Just as Aurvellas was quickly becoming nervous under the king's over long perusal of his form, he heard Saelbeth's quick steps coming from behind him. Thranduil's lingering glances had made his skin tingle and he was surprised by his body's reaction to the handsome king. He broke eye contact and turned, breathing deeply in relief.

As Aurvellas turned away, Thranduil heard a quick intake of breath from Legolas. He pulled his eyes from the warrior in front of him with great effort, for he was enjoying the view of that firm backside. He looked up to the steps, upon which were three dark haired forms, one in formal robes, flanked by two identical ellyn wearing black leggings and pewter tunics.

He immediately understood his son's reaction, for the twin sons of Elrond were redoubtable, not only in their considerable skill at warfare, but also in their great beauty. The twins conveyed a mastery and command that could easily be deemed arrogant, if not for the warm light shining from their eyes. They stood quite regally, but their facial expressions conveyed a roguishness that was endearing. He sensed that these two could be quite the handful when they chose to be. Even though they had their father's coloring, with dark hair and grey eyes, their features were obviously their mother's, with fine high cheekbones and full, pouty lips. Their dark hair was loose and held away from their faces by warrior braids. Their attire did not hide, but instead, accentuated, their strong builds. They were elven tall, but not elven slim, possessing broad shoulders and powerful thighs, their strength obvious. The elf knight and elf warrior each had small smiles gracing their fair faces, while their eyes swept across the courtyard surveying the entire delegation. Immediately after passing azure blue eyes by, pewter grey eyes returned and locked with them, forcing the Prince to pull his gaze away.

Arriving at the top of the steps, Saelbeth paused and quickly assessed the situation. He was grateful that Aurvellas had stepped in to welcome the distinguished guests. He hurried down the steps but did so with such grace that he did not appear to be rushing. Once directly in front of the delegation he bowed low and said in a smooth, honeyed voice, "Your Highness, this is indeed a pleasant surprise. I am Saelbeth, Steward of Imladris. I am distressed that your early arrival caught us unprepared. I do hope that you will allow us the opportunity to demonstrate our customary hospitality." He straightened and smiled warmly at the delegation. "Aurvellas will show your warriors to the quarters we have readied for them in the barracks. I felt they would be more comfortable there with the Lothlórien and Imladris guard than in the house proper."

Upon hearing that, the Captain strode up to Saelbeth and placed his bent sword arm over his heart in a warrior's salute. He introduced himself, "I am Himmion, Captain of the Guard. Your arrangements are to our liking. We will be quite comfortable in the barracks. Hannon le, híren."

Aurvellas turned to Himmion, saying, "Captain, please have your men take their gear and follow me. I will show you to your quarters. It is early yet, so be assured that breakfast will still be available in the dining hall once you have had a chance to refresh yourselves." The two warriors and the Mirkwood guard walked briskly away toward the barracks. As he was leaving the courtyard, Aurvellas felt eyes on his back. When he chanced a glance over his shoulder, his eyes met aquamarine blue ones. He felt himself color, and quickly turned away.

As Saelbeth was mastering the situation, Elrohir was engaged in ogling the Prince of Mirkwood from the steps. When Elladan finally noticed what his brother was doing, he hissed, "Tôr, stop leering at the prince. Things have already started off badly this morning without you angering the king by your lack of discretion."

"Have no fear, 'Dan, no one other than the prince is aware of my intent at this moment." He snorted, "In fact, his father is too busy ogling Aurvellas to notice me." Elrohir continued, his eyes never leaving the prince's form, "And, do you blame me? He possesses a singular beauty does he not? I can only say that I look forward to seeing more of that archer's frame, preferably unclothed and under me." He winked at the prince then, and turned to his brother as Legolas flushed lightly.

"'Roh you are incorrigible. Do not get caught out saying those things. You know how important this Council is to Adar." At that moment, Elrond calmly joined his sons at the top of the steps, pretending that he had not just been racing down the hallways.

"What are you two up to, ionnath nín?" Elrond quietly queried. "Please behave. King Thranduil does not leave his realm lightly. These are critical meetings," he chided. He then strode down the stairs to greet his guests.

"I do believe Adar doubts that we understand the import of this Council. I am hurt, 'Dan," Elrohir teased.

"Let us join Adar and Saelbeth. We can offer to show the prince around. That would please you, would it not, tôr?" Elladan asked as he began descending the steps.

Elrohir inhaled lightly at the thought of spending time close to the prince and hurried after his twin.

As Elrond reached the group in the courtyard, Saelbeth turned to introduce him, "King Thranduil, may I present Lord Elrond."

"Yes Saelbeth, we have met previously," Thranduil's reply was icy.

Saelbeth inwardly groaned at his faux pas. "Of course. Forgive me, your Highness." He must be more careful where these two are concerned! "My Lord Elrond, allow me to present Prince Legolas, Masters Lammaen and Tegilbor."

Elrond nodded in greeting to the group and waved to his sons as he said, "And these are my sons, Elladan and Elrohir."

The twins each gave a warrior's salute in lieu of bows, "We are delighted to meet you, my Lords."

"Elrond, where might Lord Glorfindel be? I had given Himmion the impression that he would have an opportunity to spar with your legendary warrior," Thranduil asked, trying his best to keep his tone pleasant.

"Glorfindel has been detained this morning, but he should be available after the morning meal," Elrond replied. "I will inform him of your captain's desire. He is usually delighted to spar with someone new; he views it as an opportunity to broaden his scope of knowledge."

Saelbeth smoothly interceded at this point to keep things cordial, "My Lords, if you will follow me, I will show you to your quarters where you can refresh yourselves. Once you are settled in, I will have someone come and show you the way to the dining hall as I am certain you must be hungry."

Elrond turned to leave, "If you need anything, please let Saelbeth know. I look forward to our meetings." With that, he left them and returned to his study.

The twins followed Saelbeth and the Mirkwood Elves, Elrohir especially enjoying the view from behind the Mirkwood Prince. He smirked at his brother, who could only silently roll his eyes at his twin.

As they were walking down the long hallway in the guest quarters, Lammaen asked, "Master Saelbeth where might Master Erestor be? I was under the impression that he would be attending these meetings as well."

Tegilbor groaned at the question, and interrupted before Saelbeth could answer, "Lammaen, did you learn nothing? Or do you desire for him to truly break your nose this time?" Lammaen hissed at this announcement, and Thranduil decided it best for him to intervene.

"Master Saelbeth, it seems your chief counselor and mine had an unpleasant 'incident' the last time they met. I believe Counselor Lammaen was inquiring so that he might make amends and insure there are no hard feelings. Was that not your intention, Lammaen?" The entire time he had been speaking in a pleasant, even tone, but the glare directed at his counselors indicated he was not happy that this conversation had occurred.

"Yes, my liege, you are correct. Master Erestor left so suddenly that I never had the opportunity to clear up the misunderstanding, or to apologize to him. I had hoped to rectify that." He smiled winningly at Saelbeth.

Saelbeth was no fool. Even though Erestor kept most things to himself, he had heard about Lammaen's failed attempt to seduce him. He had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at the dissembling occurring before him! "Alas, I know not if you shall have that opportunity, Master Lammaen. Master Erestor is not in the valley at this time. He has been away and is not expected back for a little while yet. I am sorry to disappoint you."

Saelbeth stopped in front of ornately carved double doors, and throwing them open, he gestured for the king and prince to step inside the gracious quarters. "Your Highnesses, I only have this suite of rooms prepared for you at this time since I was unaware that you both would be attending the Council. There are two bedrooms, each with a private bathing chamber, as well as separate sitting areas. These rooms also have a study and office area for meetings. I am sorry that I do not have individual accommodations for you, but hopefully this will suffice for the time being." As he walked through the rooms, a young elleth stepped from one of the bathing chambers and started at seeing them. "Ah, Ithilwen, there you are. Is everything prepared and ready for our distinguished guests?"

She nervously replied, "Yes, híren, I just finished readying the last bathing chamber. I am sorry if I did not finish them on time…" Her words trailed off as she looked down at the floor.

At her discomfort, Thranduil stepped in and spoke soothingly. "No, my dear, I am certain you have finished your duties with time to spare; it is just that we arrived unexpectedly and very early. Hannon le for your work, pen neth."

At his words, she dared to lift her head slightly, and could not contain a gasp at the mighty lord before her. He radiated power, and the other ellon next to him was a vision. She stammered, "Oh… yes… if… if… if you… you… need anything, please ring for me." She raced by them and out the door, her face flushing brightly.

Saelbeth just rolled his eyes and shook his head as he watched her flee. "I apologize. She is young yet, and has not been the chambermaid for such powerful dignitaries before. If you desire a more experienced maid, I can reassign her, your Highnesses. But, I must let you know that she is sweet, and very good at anticipating all one's needs. That is why I initially chose her for this role."

The prince spoke up at once. "Oh, please do not reassign her on my account. She will be fine once she is accustomed to us, I am certain. And, these rooms are fine. They will be perfect for the duration of our stay, do you not agree, Adar?"

The king nodded his head in agreement, and then stretched as he said, "Yes. The rooms and Ithilwen will do fine. Now, I desire food and a bath. Could you see that she takes care of those things, Master Saelbeth? I do not desire to eat in the dining hall at this time, so just have a light meal sent here. Hannon le." With that dismissal, he walked into the largest bedroom and closed the door behind him.

Elladan and Elrohir had watched the entire scene unfold from the hallway where they were still standing with the two Advisors. As Ithilwen raced by, flushing hotly, Elladan followed her and calmed her so that she could return soonest. He knew that the king and prince would have needs that must be attended to right away. Once she was calmed, he sent her back into the rooms where Saelbeth gave her instructions and she immediately set about serving the two lords.

Before leaving, Elrohir quietly took the prince aside and offered, "Mayhap after you have rested and restored yourself, you would enjoy a tour of Imladris? We would be happy to conduct such. It is a lovely day for a tour."

Legolas thrilled at the light touch on his arm and the look in the Peredhel's eyes, as he answered, "I should like that very much. Hannon le."

With that, the twins departed and left Saelbeth with the counselors, who he showed to their suite of rooms. "These are your accommodations. I hope that they are to your liking. The bathing chamber is fine in here, but I suggest that you try the public baths as well. The water in them is from the natural hot springs under Imladris and has healing as well as soothing properties. I will send a page to escort you to the dining hall once you are refreshed. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to ask." He turned to leave and closed the door behind him, while letting out a loud sigh of relief.

~~~*~~~

  
As soon as Aurvellas had shown the Mirkwood guard and their Captain to their quarters and had ushered them to the dining hall for breakfast, he headed directly for Glorfindel's chambers, as he was certain the seneschal had not yet left them.

After knocking he heard a quiet, "Enter", so he did. There was the Elda, half dressed, standing on the balcony, apparently lost in thought. There was a barely eaten breakfast on a tray in front of the fireplace, and a fresh undershirt and tunic casually tossed on the bed. It was obvious that Glorfindel had been in no hurry to begin his day.

"Glorfindel? Are you unwell this morning?" Aurvellas was growing increasingly concerned at his Captain's erratic behavior, and he was doubtful that Elrond's sleeping potions actually helped at all.

At the question, Glorfindel turned away from the view and walked into his room. "I am fine. I have a feeling that something bad is looming on the horizon, but I cannot see what it might be. Elrond has seen nothing, so he is unconcerned, but I cannot shake this uneasiness." He shook his head as though trying to clear cobwebs from it. "Aíya, I hate how these potions slow me down in the mornings." He brushed loose hair from his face and grabbed his shirt before he continued. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your smiling face this morning?" he quipped, for his second's face was grim.

Aurvellas then recounted what the Mirkwood contingent had encountered as his Captain dressed. He elaborated with the Imladris scouts' own observations as well. The realization that there was a large band of orcs near the Imladris borders, and that his friends were still out there **somewhere** snapped Glorfindel's already overtaxed patience. He barked, "Aurvellas, ready a large party. I leave in an hour."

"What? But, Captain, the Council meetings begin on the morrow. You are needed there. I can lead the patrol," Aurvellas countered.

"No. I have sat here on my ass for too long. My friends are out there, and there are yrch on our border. It is my duty to remedy this situation and I shall. You have my authority to sit in the Council meetings. You can bring up our proposal. Have at least twenty of our guards ready for hard travel and fighting. Now go. I will inform Elrond and meet you in the courtyard within the hour."

With that, the seneschal strode out of his rooms toward Elrond's study, while Aurvellas rushed to the barracks. He had a slight smile on his face for this was his Captain of old and he had been sorely missed!

~~~*~~~

  
Elrond tried to argue with Glorfindel, but was finally persuaded to give his support and allow the seneschal to lead the patrol. The healer in him still worried what would happen if the Elda was overcome by his nightmares while away. He only hoped that the intensity of the warrior's daytime activities might keep his nights free of dreams.

As Elrond left his study, he bumped into his sons, who were also planning to join the patrol. He may not have had success in dissuading his seneschal, but he did put his foot down with Elladan and Elrohir and force them to stay this time. They were both chafing at the restriction, until Elrohir spied the Mirkwood prince heading toward the dining hall. At the reminder of his promise to give the prince a tour of Imladris, Elrohir quickly relented and went to catch up to Legolas. Elladan waved him on and continued to walk with his father.  
TBC  
 **Translations:**  
Ethuil – late spring  
híren – my lord  
yrch – orc or orcs  
ellyn – male elves  
hannon le – I thank you  
tôr – brother  
ionnath nín – my sons  
elleth – female elf  
pen neth – young one


	12. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arriving at the border of Imladris…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains the original songfic that started me down this garden path. It was based on "The Reason" by Hoobastank. I did have to change an 'I go' to 'you go' so that the POV made sense; my apologies to Hoobastank if this offends.

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
_internal thoughts be in italics_   
**bold is used for emphasis**

  
Chapter 12:

Ethuil, Imladris, 2818 T.A.

As the trio neared the borders of Imladris, Gildor felt his tension wane. The two Elves were not normally so tense when traveling together, but they had ridden hard to make up for lost time, and the child's welfare weighed heavily on them. They knew that all would be worried at their delayed return with nary a word. Even though they had traveled until far later in the day than they normally would, both Elves wanted to be safely inside their borders before stopping for the night. They continued to push their mounts until both felt something **_wrong_**. Erestor continued to push the tired horses until he heard something approaching in the distance. He was certain that it was the sound of boots, of orcs. But what would orcs be doing so close to the border of Imladris? When he looked to the South, he could see a band of the beasts rapidly advancing straight for them.

Sídhiel, who was half-dozing on Eyra, felt the horses stop and turn. This roused her; as she saw her Ada's eyes widen, she turned to see what he was looking at. At first she couldn't make out what it was in the dusky light, but as they got closer, she saw horrific monsters coming toward them. Sídhiel screamed. Everything fell into chaos, as the orcs saw the youngling and the horseflesh, as well as only two of the hated Elves. The Elves were badly outnumbered, and the orcs roared out in triumph.

Erestor yelled at Sídhiel, "Continue riding straight ahead as fast as you can. Do not look back. Go!" He slapped Eyra on the flanks and then turned toward their foes, drawing his bow. He took out as many as he could with arrows, but there were far too many, and they were already too close.

A black arrow whizzed by and lodged in Húron's neck. The stallion went down, taking Gildor with him. By the time Gildor regained his footing, the orcs were already swarming over them. Gildor drew his sword and charged the orcs, hoping to buy time for the child's escape.

Belatedly, Erestor realized that they were being driven into the woods where they would lose the advantage given them by their horses. By that time, Gildor was already engaged in a bitter struggle. Erestor dismounted, and he and Naurion joined the battle. As he struggled against the sheer numbers, he just hoped that they had bought Sídhiel enough time to get to safety.

Sídhiel held on and tried to do as her Ada bid, but Eyra would not leave Naurion. The mare followed wherever the stallion led, so she doubled back toward the Elves. She was not a battle trained mount; she was very skittish at the commotion, and needed to be led. As they approached the trees, an orc jumped in front of her and she reared up and threw Sídhiel. Even though she was not battle hardened, Eyra was a good horse. When she realized that her young charge was in danger, she flailed with her hooves and kicked out at many of the monsters, but there were too many of them and she was rapidly brought down.

Suddenly, the chaos increased, and more orcs began to fall. Someone had come to their aid! With the knowledge that they had reinforcements, both Elves turned back to the fray with renewed vigor, but there were still too many of the foul beasts, and they both felt as though they had been fighting for days. After struggling with a particularly large axe-wielding orc, Erestor's arms felt like dead weights, so he wasn't able to move fast enough to completely deflect the blows when two orcs came at him at the same time. He felt a sharp blow across his thigh, and as he spun to slam his knives in that attacker's eyes, the other stabbed him through his side with a spear. Gildor heard his cry and turned to behead the monster, but Erestor was already down.

~~~*~~~

  
What few orcs remained were hunted down by the newly arrived patrol. Gildor shouted for help for Erestor. At hearing that Erestor was down, Glorfindel raced over. After quickly taking in the dire situation, he whistled for Asfaloth, "If I do not get him to Elrond, he will not survive. Quickly, bind his wounds and then hand him up to me," he ordered, as he mounted his large, white steed. Once he held Erestor cradled tightly in his arms, he leaned into Asfaloth's flanks and bade him to get them to Imladris as swiftly as possible.

Gildor looked around the mayhem and noticed Eyra down. His heart leapt in his chest as he wondered what had happened to Sídhiel. _Sweet Elbereth! Let the child be okay._ He raced to the downed horse, and realized that the mare had taken out two orcs on her own before the others got to her. But he still could not find the child! Frantically he began walking in widening circles around the horse, trying to find any sign of her. After the third circuit, he stumbled and noticed that he had stepped into a small gully partially hidden from view by debris. And there, at the bottom, lay an unconscious Sídhiel.

Gildor leaned down and carefully picked up the child, after assessing that she was not seriously injured. As she was moved, Sídhiel regained consciousness and moaned. Her eyes opened, and she was greeted by Gildor's grey eyes, stormy with worry. "Oww, my head hurts." She tried to brush her hair from her face, but it was stuck in the blood from a gash over her right eye that had bled profusely. "What happened? What were those things?" She tried to look around, but Gildor clasped her more firmly to him, and forced her face to his chest as he walked away from the scene of chaos, not wanting to expose the child to the carnage.

"Those foul things are the Dark Lord's minions; we call them yrch. You are injured. Do not concern yourself with the goings on of the battlefield right now. We will rest in camp with the patrol, and then leave for Imladris at first light." Gildor was fearful for Erestor, but he knew he had to be strong for the little one.

"Gildor, where is Ada?" Sídhiel had just realized that there were a lot of yrch dead on the ground, but she didn't think she saw any elves there. For that she was glad, but where was her Ada?

Gildor steeled himself, took a deep breath, and began, "Your Ada was gravely injured. Glorfindel, whose steed is as fast as lightening, has taken him to Imladris where Lord Elrond can take care of him. Lord Elrond is the best healer in all of Arda. He will see to it that your Ada is well cared for." Gildor watched her reaction, expecting something more than wide eyes wet with tears. "We will follow as soon as we can, but it is far too treacherous for us to travel by night. We will be safe and take the time to rest, eat, and have your wounds seen to here…" Gildor felt like he was rambling, but he was having a hard time keeping his composure under the onslaught of pain radiating from her dark blue eyes. "Ahh, here we are. You must be thirsty and hungry, pen neth."

Sídhiel looked around toward a small campfire with a kettle on it, from which the most delicious smells were coming. She was hungry! Once they were settled in camp, she ate a bit and drank a lot, and let a healer clean and bandage her head. While the healer was tending to her, Gildor held her in his lap and hummed a lullaby he recalled from his own childhood. The toils of the day, coupled with the warm food and fire, quickly conspired to have Sídhiel asleep in no time. Gildor tucked her into his bed roll, and sat down next to her to guard her throughout the night. As the elves began the lament for their fallen, Gildor's voice joined in.

~~~*~~~

  
Glorfindel took a moment to look down at Erestor. His heart shattered at the sight. The elf that had haunted him for centuries had never looked so fragile. His beautiful alabaster skin had a grayish cast to it, the normally ruby red lips had dimmed to palest pink, and those chocolate eyes which could cause his heart to race from a mere glance were closed.

  
_I'm not a perfect person  
There's many things I wish I didn't do  
But I continue learning  
I never meant to do those things to you  
And so I have to say before you go  
That I just want you to know_

  
At that moment, Glorfindel realized that Erestor was **_the_** one, his reason for being, his soul mate. He would do anything to save the elf in his arms, and once Erestor was restored to health, Glorfindel was going to pursue him with all his being. He was determined to have more than forgiveness from the dark elf in his arms.

  
_I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is you_   


  
Erestor moaned in pain and Glorfindel tried to gently move him so that he would be more comfortable. This proved to be practically impossible on the back of a wildly galloping steed, and the only outcome was that the Elda's hands came back covered in bright red blood.

  
_I'm sorry that I hurt you  
It's something I must live with everyday  
And all the pain I put you through  
I wish that I could take it all away  
And be the one who catches all your tears  
That's why I need you to hear_   


  
Glorfindel urged Asfaloth on, encouraging the brave steed to push himself past his limits. He knew that Erestor did not have much more time. _What if I lose him now? Without ever telling him how I truly feel? Why did I ever push him away?_

  
_I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is You_   


  
He bowed his head in desperate prayer, "Please, Manwë, Námo, Varda, Irmo, hear me. I cannot live without Erestor. Please help me save him. If you do, I will fix things. I swear it."

  
_I'm not a perfect person  
I never meant to do those things to you  
And so I have to say before you go  
That I just want you to know_   


  
His prayer must have been heard, for somehow he arrived at Imladris in two short hours of flight instead of four hours of hard riding. As he arrived in the courtyard, the bells were already tolling that wounded were arriving. Elrond and Elladan arrived in the Courtyard at the same time. Elrond reached up to take the darkling elf from Glorfindel, who would have collapsed were it not for Elladan supporting him as he dismounted. The group then rushed to the House of Healing.

  
_I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is You_   


  
As Elrond placed the wounded elf upon a table draped in white cloths, Glorfindel took Erestor's hand, and begged, "Please. He must live!" Elladan pushed past the Elda as he said, "Glorfindel, please let us work." The blond relented and moved to the head of the table where he could be close without being in the way. As Nestoron cut the dark elf's clothes away, the gravely wounded elf moaned. Glorfindel stroked Erestor's cheek and whispered soothing noises into his ear.

  
_I've found a reason to show  
A side of me you didn't know  
A reason for all that I do  
And the reason is you_

While the healers worked to clean the wounds, Glorfindel realized that he could still lose Erestor. He had lost far too much blood, and it was still too early to tell if any vital organs had been punctured by the spear. The warrior trembled at the realization, but he also hardened his resolve. He would do whatever was needed to have Erestor as his own, including releasing Ecthelion from his heart and soul.

TBC  
 **Translations:**  
Ethuil – late spring  
yrch – orcs


	13. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imladris is rocked by old wounds, new wounds, and a new face…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The very attentive may notice that one supporting character's name has been modified a bit. Silamoth, Saelbeth's spouse, will from this chapter forward be known as Silamothien. Sorry for any confusion caused by my poor Sindarin naming skills!

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
_internal thoughts be in italics_   
**bold is used for emphasis**

  
Chapter 13:

Ethuil, Imladris, 2818 T.A.

As Anor rose over the Misty Mountains, Gildor awoke from his reverie. He looked at the sleeping child and prayed that she would not lose her Ada now that she had one. The warriors in camp were already stirring. The wounded were being readied to ride back to Imladris while the rest were planning to finish their circuit on the border.

Gildor roused Sídhiel and bid her to hurry so they could travel with the returning party. She stretched and looked at him questioningly through bleary eyes. "My head hurts. Don't wanna wake up yet," she mumbled as she turned back onto her side.

"Come, sleepy head. We must leave. You want to know how your Ada is doing, do you not?"

That was the proper incentive to wake the slumbering child. She slipped on her boots and stood, stretching as she did. "Let's go then. I'm ready."

Gildor chuckled. "Do you not desire breakfast first?"

Sídhiel tilted her head, considering her answer before she said, "A little bit of something would be nice, but I really want to leave. Now."

Gildor had anticipated her need to hurry and already had some fruit and water ready, which he handed to her. "Will this suffice?"

Sídhiel looked up at him and smiled. "Hannon le, Gildor. Do you know why I'm in such a hurry?"

He shook his head, so she answered, "I've never had an Ada before. I've never really had anyone but Gran. Er-es-tor is special. I don't want to lose him before I even had a chance to spend much time with him."

Replying as he mounted, "Your Ada is in good hands. Fear not, pen dithen."

As she was pulled onto Naurion, Sídhiel asked, "Where is Húron? Where's Eyra? Why are we both riding Ada's mount?"

Gildor closed his eyes and replied sadly, "The yrch got both of our mounts, pen dithen. Your Ada was carried to Imladris on Asfaloth, Glorfindel's horse. Naurion has agreed to carry us both home to Imladris. The others are waiting for us. Let us be off."

Sídhiel bowed her head and said a prayer for Eyra and Húron, her tears falling freely onto Gildor's arm, which held her close. When he realized she was crying, he tightened his hold on her and began singing an Elven lament for the fallen. The song was mournful but soothing; and the child, who had been through so much, was soon fast asleep.

~~~*~~~

  
Elrond, Elladan and Nestoron all worked for many hours repairing the damage done to Erestor. The spear wound was the most serious, as from it he had lost far too much blood, but it was a clean wound and the weapon had somehow avoided piercing any internal organs. To repair the extensive damage required many tiny stitches. The wound that took the longest to repair and was the most exhausting for the healers was the one on his thigh. The cut was jagged, and almost sheared the bone in twain. After setting the bone and binding small metal rods to it to insure the bone would heal straight, the rest of the flesh was painstakingly knitted back together. The only fortunate circumstance for the darkling elf was that neither of the weapons that cleaved his flesh was poisoned. If either had been, his fëa would already reside in the Halls of Mandos. The many surgeries were finally finished as Anor lit the valley.

The exhausted healers straightened, as assistants took their tools to be cleansed and moved their patient from the table where lay to a private room. Erestor was in a deep healing sleep, placed there through Elrond's efforts. As Elrond shifted from the bedside, he swayed, his exhaustion evident. Elladan steadied his father and helped him to a chair. He chided, "Adar, you will do Erestor no good if you overtax yourself. Nestoron and I will stay at his side. You need to rest."

Glorfindel had pulled a chair close to the bed. He rubbed his knuckles against a pale cheek as he spoke without taking his eyes from the face before him. "Elrond, you know he speaks truthfully. Take your rest for now. It will be best if you regain your strength so that you can share it with him when needed."

Elrond's shoulders drooped. They were right. He had overdone it and depleted his energy stores, yet he was afraid he would not awaken if he went to sleep. He softly uttered, "I will rest, but you must come and get me in a few hours. I will need to see if infection is setting in." He slowly began moving to the door.

"Rest, Adar. If anything changes we will inform you."

~~~*~~~

  
Even though the beauty of the hidden valley was not completely lost on the child, she was unable to appreciate or remark on it. She was still in shock from all that had occurred in her life in the past week, with the culmination being her injury, as well as the fear that she could lose her just acquired Ada. The ride passed by swiftly, for she slept through most of it. Gildor was glad to be lost in his own thoughts and not needed to entertain her.

He roused her as the Last Homely House came into view, wanting the child to be alert when they arrived. Sídhiel stretched and blinked her eyes. There were elves everywhere. Even though she was still foggy from sleep, she was stunned at the sheer beauty of the House, its environs, and its inhabitants. With Anor at its zenith, the entire valley seemed to shimmer. The child had thought Erestor and Gildor were the most stunning creatures she had ever seen, but here was amazing beauty for the eye to feast on at every turn.

When they reached the courtyard, Saelbeth and some healers met their party. They dismounted and a stable hand took Naurion from Gildor. As Saelbeth bowed, Gildor said, "Mae govannen, Saelbeth. Is Erestor…" He let the question hang in the air, unfinished.

"Master Erestor is in the House of Healing. Lords Elrond and Elladan themselves have been caring for him, and Lord Glorfindel is still at his side. Come. I will take you to him." As Saelbeth was about to turn around, it finally registered with him that there was a child with Gildor. "Híren? And who might this be?"

"She has a long tale to accompany her. Her name is Sídhiel. Suffice it to say, she must come with me to see Erestor."

"Very good. Right this way then," Saelbeth said, and he led them to the Healing House.

Saelbeth ushered Gildor and Sídhiel into a private room in the healing house. As they arrived, Elrond and Elladan were re-bandaging Erestor's side, while Glorfindel sat in a chair beside the bed. Gildor took in Glorfindel's state and realized that the seneschal must not have moved from Erestor's side, as he was still filthy, and covered in dried black and red blood. His tunic was torn and dusty, and he was completely haggard. Then Gildor's eyes moved to Erestor. He looked so small and frail in the large white bed and room. Gildor took in dark hair, fanned out on the pillows; alabaster skin, wan and lifeless, with large purple bruises visible around the white bandages circling his torso; and deep smudges under his closed eyes. Gildor's heart dropped at that sight.

Sídhiel could not restrain herself, and ran to Erestor's side, pushing past the healers and Glorfindel to reach her Ada. Once at his side, she threw her arms around his neck, and sobbed, "Ada, don't die on me. Please wake up."

Glorfindel gave the child a disapproving glance and was about to remove her when Gildor spoke up, "Nay, stay your hand. The child deserves to be at his side as much as any of us, Fin." At hearing that name, Sídhiel's head shot up and her eyes narrowed. She began to look at the three unknown Elves, and especially the large blond one, with suspicion.

"Gildor, please explain," Elrond said in a heavy voice, motioning to the child.

Before Gildor could answer, Sídhiel spoke up. "My name is Sídhiel. Er-es-tor is my Ada. He said so in the cave when we were in the mountains. I rode in with Gildor. Now who are you?"

Elladan grinned at the little one's pluck, but Elrond raised an eyebrow and glared at the child, who barely managed not to cower under his intense gaze. "I did not speak to you, pen neth. Do not interrupt. It is rude to speak when you were not spoken to. Gildor, explain this. Now."

Gildor had the good sense to know that Elrond was clearly tired and not in the mood for cheek, so he motioned for Sídhiel to come to him, hoping that he could corral her while explanations were given. Unfortunately, the child had been pushed to her limits by all that had occurred and she snapped when she was dismissed. Ignoring Gildor, she stood, crossing her arms across her chest, "I answered your questions fully. It is rude not to answer my questions. Who are you and how do I know you are taking good care of my ada?"

"Fin, please escort this child from these chambers," Elrond said as he began rubbing his temples. "Take her to Silamothien. She will know how to handle a recalcitrant elfling."

As Glorfindel stood, the child whirled. "You are Fin? No! Keep him away from my Ada!" She began crying. "Please, Gildor, he hurt Ada. He shouldn't be here. He will hurt Ada more. Please? Don't let him take me away." The child was quickly turning hysterical as Glorfindel approached.

Elrond pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed deeply. "Hush, child. Please hold, Fin." He nodded to Elladan who knelt in front of the sobbing child and hugged her. "We will not take you away from here. Glorfindel, you have been here for over twelve hours and have not even taken time to clean up. Go. Refresh yourself and take some rest. We will have this sorted out by the time you return."

Glorfindel protested, but at looks from both Elrond and Gildor, he decided he did need to bathe and eat. He was loathe to leave Erestor, but the child was obviously upset by his mere presence. Her words rang in his head: "He hurt Ada. He shouldn't be here. He will hurt Ada more". _How does she know of me and what has transpired between I and Erestor?_ He sighed and left the chamber.

Once the seneschal left, there was room for Gildor to come to Sídhiel's side. Elladan released the still shaking child to Gildor, who sat her on his lap in the recently vacated chair. As he stroked her head he explained somewhat about the child. When she was calm again, she asked in a polite, sweet voice, "My lords, may I ask your names now that you know all about me?" She cocked her head and looked up with large blue eyes.

Elladan found the child endearing so he answered first. "My lady, I am Elladan Elrondion," he said as he made a sweeping bow. "I am a healer and heir to the Lord of Imladris. It is indeed a pleasure to meet you."

Elrond rolled his eyes at his elder son and answered, "And I am Elrond, Lord of Imladris, as well as your ada's healer. Erestor is one of my dearest friends, so you can be assured that I am doing everything in my power to insure he recovers, pen neth."

"Oh, my lord, I am sorry. I didn't know… It's just that… Ada has nightmares. Do you see?"

None understood her, but all smiled gently, hoping to reassure the child. "It is forgotten," Elrond began, "would you like Gildor or Elladan to take you to Silamothien?"

"Please, neither. I must stay here. My Ada needs me. Please don't make me leave. Please." She began to cry again.

Elrond relented, realizing that at this moment the child needed to be here, and she did not seem to be making things worse.

"My Lord, are you and Lord Elladan the only ones that are caring for my Ada?" she asked, her eyes glinting.

"Nay, Glorfindel aids us as well. Why do you ask? Do you have concerns about our care?"

"Oh, no. I was just wondering if my Ada would want all **three** of you taking care of him," she replied, smiling sweetly.

Elrond had a feeling that he was not going to be happy with where this conversation was leading, "Of course he would. I and Elladan are both very skilled healers."

"He would allow you two to be at his side, but what about that Fin… uh… I mean Lord Glorfindel? Would my Ada want him near if he had a say?"

Elladan's eyes widened as he realized what admission this little one was about to wring from his Adar.

"Aíya, Gildor, I now have no doubt she belongs to Erestor." He kept himself from smiling. "Pen dithen, I will be honest with you, I believe that Erestor would say that he did not desire that Glorfindel attend to him, but in his heart, Erestor would indeed be gladdened that our seneschal cared enough to stay here with him. Of this, you can be sure. Gildor, please come with me to my office and explain what has occurred in the months since you left here. Elladan, please stay with Erestor and Sídhiel."

With that, he turned and strode out of the room at such a pace that Gildor had to rush to keep up.

Elladan smiled at the child who was sitting on the bed next to Erestor as she began to yawn. "Pen neth, I can well imagine that you have had a long and trying day. If I make you a safe spot next to your Ada, would you rest?" He rushed on when it appeared she was not going to agree. "You will be comfortable and your Ada will know that you are here and caring for him. Come."

Sídhiel was exhausted and her head throbbed. The bed looked soft and she would be able to snuggle up to her Ada, so she agreed. She rapidly fell asleep, so Elladan took the time to check her injury to see how it was mending. He found himself enamored of this child, and hoped that all would turn out well for her.  
TBC  
 **Translations:**  
Ethuil – late spring  
Ada – daddy  
pen dithen – little one  
yrch – orc or orcs  
Anor – sun  
Adar – father  
mae govannen – well met


	14. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some conversation and a peace offering…

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
_internal thoughts be in italics_   
**bold is used for emphasis**

  
Chapter 14:

 _Ethuil, Imladris, 2818 T.A._

  
Elrond strode into his office and went straight for his wine cabinet. "Meldir, I am exhausted but we have much to discuss. Care for a glass?" He waved his already full wine glass in Gildor's direction.

Gildor closed the door and walked over to Elrond, nodding in agreement. "Yes, please. Hannon le. I really could use something about now." He took the offered glass and sank into the leather sofa, a groan at his aching muscles slipping out.

Elrond settled down at the other end of the sofa and looked at his friend. He noticed the travel stained and dusty clothes, the messy braids, and the fatigue rimmed grey eyes. "Gildor, it is not that urgent that we have to discuss this now. In my own anxiety, I forgot that you have not had a chance to rest."

Gildor shook his head. "Nay, Elrond. There is much we need to talk about. My own comfort can yet be delayed." He reached into his tunic and pulled an envelope from an inner pocket, noticing its blood stained exterior as he handed it to Elrond. "First, the plans. There is a growing threat in Umbar and our agents there are getting increasingly nervous. I am uncertain how much longer they will continue to provide us information."

"Do we need to increase the… **incentives**?" Elrond asked as he walked to a bookcase and slid open a secret compartment. He unlocked and opened a chest, into which he placed the envelope. He then locked the chest and returned the key to a chain around his neck. Then he silently slid the compartment closed and turned back to Gildor, who had continued speaking.

"From the fear in their eyes, I begin to believe that no incentive may be high enough. Luckily, the corsairs in Harondor are still easily bribed and quite amenable to aid the highest bidder, so our agents there are safe, for now."

"Do you have any other concerns from your mission? Anything that should not leave this room?"

"Nothing specific to report, except that everywhere we went there was a lengthening shadow, as though daylight was waning and the darkness was encroaching, trying to take root. I know the manner of our return has totally disrupted the Council, but I feel that it is imperative we work things out so that all the realms are as well equipped and trained as possible. We still have time, and we must put that to good use by cooperating. We must put our past differences aside."

"I assume you refer to Thranduil and me?"

"Nay, there are enough transgressions to go around. I was not merely referring to yours."

"Sound advice as always, mellon nín. That is why Ereinion chose you to lead the Shadow Stalkers. I can imagine no other to be so cool and dispassionate in such trying circumstances." Elrond sighed and walked back to the wine bar. "Care for more? There are other things we need to discuss, things beyond the child. Are you up for it?"

"Indeed, we may even be thinking of the same problem, but you should know everything about the child first." Gildor began, "she is Elúvan's child," then continued with her story, and finally revealed all that he knew about Sídhiel.

Leaning back and closing his eyes, Elrond ran his hands through his tousled hair as he spoke. "No matter what happens now, she is our responsibility. From her behavior today, though, I would say it will not be an easy task to rein her in. She was able to withstand the 'eyebrow' without cowering." He chuckled.

Gildor smiled. "Aye, for one so small, she has quite an independent streak. Things should be quite interesting around here."

"And just who is Erestor planning on caring for his child while he is gone?"

"I do not believe that he is going anywhere for a very long time. He said as much when he first told me about Sídhiel. He had to choose between raising his brother's iell as his own or continuing his service as a Shadow Stalker. He chose the child."

 _Of course he did. Why did I bother to ask?_ His chief advisor had never planned on a family, and was always careful to insure that there were no accidents or entanglements. Erestor had hated being left alone at such a young age and had sworn to never do the same.

This proclamation knocked the wind from Elrond, for just as Glorfindel was his right hand, Erestor was his eyes; without Erestor's service Elrond felt himself blinded. "So, Gildor, where does that leave you? With your partner unavailable for the foreseeable future, your options are limited." _And the information I need for my realm will be less reliable, as others not of Erestor's caliber will be called upon._

Gildor said, "Neledhon has long wanted me to return to the Wandering Company. He claims they sorely need my leadership. I suppose that is as good a compromise as any for me. But I shall not leave your realm until Erestor is healed."

Elrond eyed his friend and asked something that had been nagging at him for a long time. "Gildor, what of you? Are you in love with Erestor?"

Gildor was surprised by the question, and choked on his drink. After he regained his breath, he answered with a question of his own, "Why ever would you think such a thing?"

"Do you truly need me to explain?" Elrond asked. Gildor nodded. "You have never taken a long term lover. You and he are intimate. You are fiercely protective of him. Must I go on? It seems that you wait for one whose heart belongs to another."

The blond smiled, sympathetically. "Elrond, mellon nín, I can see how you might take those things and turn them into something other than what they are. But the true answer is that I love Erestor deeply. And while it is true I have feelings other than just 'brotherly' affection for our dark one, I am not, and have never been, in love with him." He then sighed, and his mood darkened, as he finished, "I wait for no one."

Elrond noticed how his friend began to close himself off, walling off something important that the Lord had never yet been able to discern. With so much emotion so close to the surface he felt now might be the time to uncover these things about his blond friend. "So you do not desire someone to love? Someone who will love you back? I find that hard to believe."

"Of course you would. Ereinion captured you, body and soul, such that you still have not taken a lover after… how long is it now since Celebrían sailed? And you and I both know there was very little within your marriage long before then. So, of course, you expect that I would need such a love to claim me. I do not." He lied. He knew this, but Elrond, least of all, needed to know what love had driven him to do; what auburn hair and eyes of flint had meant to him those long millennia ago.

Elrond snorted in disbelief. "You claim that you do not desire love? I know better. Remember I have known you since I was but a child. You may be the best I have ever seen at suppressing and ignoring your emotions, but even you must feel the emptiness and long to be whole?"

Gildor groaned. "Will you not drop this? What do you want of me?" He turned away from the questioning gaze.

"I want to know how to help you. You have been at my side, aiding me during the entirety of my life, yet you ask nothing for yourself. You have kept Erestor sane these last centuries, yet I worry for you. Mellon nín, please? Let me in."

Gildor refused to turn and meet Elrond's eyes, but he did answer, in a ghost of a voice. "Aye, I have imagined a love such as you and Gil had, but I fear the Valar will not allow it. I doubt there will be an Ereinion in my future, so I do not delude myself with false hope." His voice wavered, but he continued, "There **was** one that I loved, but it was so long ago, and I was but a callow youth. That love made me become someone, **something,** that I did not recognize. I do not want to lose myself like that again."

Elrond thought on all that was said, but more importantly on what was left unsaid. He was about to voice his suspicion, when the blond, without turning, held up a hand to forestall him. "Nay, do not ask. That one is gone, never to return, and I will not speak his name."

The Lord of Imladris was saddened by his friend's pain. Wanting to lighten the moment, he teased, "Well, Neledhon is quite attractive. I am certain it will be no hardship for you to return to his side."

At that, Gildor turned, his friend's smile and mischievous eyes contagious. "That he is, so I will be fine. But what of you, híren? Is there no one you desire?"

"Nay, I must say in that, at least, we are the same. No one seems to measure up to Ereinion."

Gildor laughed openly. "Not **quite** the same. I was one of the few who never experienced the High King's 'gifts' so I could not say whether anyone 'measured up' to him or not."

Elrond chuckled, pleased, at least, that his friend was smiling. "Do not twist my words. You know of what I speak!" A thought came to the Peredhel and he voiced it, his eyes twinkling, "Mayhap you have been looking for companionship from the wrong gender?"

Standing, Gildor stretched and walked to pour more wine, "Me? With an elleth? Now I know you have lost your mind."

Eyes narrowed in disbelief, Elrond asked, "You have never lain with an elleth?" At Gildor's confirmation, he continued, "Ah, mellon nín, you are missing something indeed. You should consider expanding your horizons. Maybe that is why you are still alone."

"Now this is an interesting conversation we are indulging in. I would never have guessed that I would hear you, of all people, wax rhapsodic about the charms of ellyth." Knowing Elrond's history, Gildor was glad of the ability to lightly tease on this subject.

"I am open-minded and have tried **many** things in my day; the least would be lying with ellyth." He smirked at that. "Do you not desire progeny? No ellon can provide that."

"No, I have not considered the idea of furthering my line. I do not believe I would be the parent that you are. My own adar was not exactly a model of fine parenting."

"You might surprise yourself, old friend. My children are the light of my life, even if they can be the bane of my existence at times. And, along those very lines, I do have a favor to ask of you. Elrohir heard of the attack at our border. He is determined to ride out tomorrow to join the patrol. He believes that somehow it makes a difference if it is **his** bow and sword that slays the beasts. Elladan will stay to help care for Erestor and the other wounded, but I have nothing to force Elrohir to remain here. Could you ride with him? I know this is much to ask since you have only just returned, but there is no other besides Glorfindel I could entrust my son's life to. I know you will bring him home to me."

Even though every fiber in his being screamed against agreeing to the request, Gildor could not refuse Elrond, nor did he truly want to. He hated the guilt and anger the twins carried at Celebrían's fate, for it made them reckless, but he understood, having borne his own guilt for millennia. "Of course, mellon nín, you know that you can always ask anything of me. I will watch Elrohir's back, and we will both return in one piece."

It was nearing the dinner hour by this time, but the two elves were each determined to address the issue of their friends. Elrond spoke up first. "Now onto our stubborn friends… what do we do about Erestor and Glorfindel? While you were gone Fin's nightmares grew worse."

Gildor nodded. "Aye, Erestor's too. He admitted that he still has feelings for Glorfindel. But I doubt he will own up to them. Fin hurt him too badly for him to forgive and forget. Do you have any idea why he pushed Erestor away?"

"Pushed him away?" Elrond interrupted. "That is like saying the ice on the Helcaraxe was a light snow."

"I had gauged that it was something severe."

Elrond grimaced. "Glorfindel lied to Erestor, telling him that he was just another conquest to be publicly bragged about. You know how private our dear counselor is. It must have been a grave blow. Apparently, Fin still grieves for Ecthelion of the House of the Fountain. They were lovers, possibly soon to be bound when Gondolin fell." Gildor's eyes widened in surprise as Elrond continued, "Our seneschal has admitted he is in love with Erestor, but has fought the pull for so long out of loyalty to Ecthelion. He may finally be ready to let that memory go. So there is hope from that side. You do not believe there is any hope that Erestor can forgive him?"

Gildor shook his head. "I asked that of him directly, and he could not say that his forgiveness would ever be forthcoming. When Glorfindel does something, it is not by half measures. He wanted to force Erestor to stay away. He surely succeeded beyond his wildest dreams."

"I feared that might be the case. Erestor has such a caring soul, but he locked his heart away behind so many walls from the very beginning. I do not recall him ever being in love before Glorfindel." Elrond finished his wine and continued, "Aí, mellon nín, dinner is soon, and you have yet to refresh yourself. Since we seem to have run into the wall that is our dear friend, Erestor, I suggest you rest. We can continue discussions after you return from patrol. Again, hannon le, for everything." He clasped the blond elf in a warm embrace.

 _  
**FIC: The Reason, Part 14**   
_

~~~*~~~

  
"Pen neth, please, let me pass." Glorfindel was exasperated by the young child who was glaring up at him.

"No. You hurt my ada," she said, as she stood there with a fierce expression on her face and her arms crossed in front of her.

Glorfindel sighed. "Pen neth, you do know that I can simply pick you up and move you out of the way? So why are you trying to keep me from Erestor?"

"You are Fin. You hurt my ada. I do not want him to be sad. You make him sad. I do not want you here." Her childish logic was hard to argue with.

He pushed his hair away from his face and knelt in front of the child. "Oh, pen vuin, it is wonderful that you love your ada. Would you believe me if I told you that I love him as well?"

Sídhiel's brows knitted in confusion. "But you make him sad. He has nightmares…"

Glorfindel sat down on the ground and motioned for Sídhiel to sit facing him. "Maybe you and I need to talk and understand each other first. Shall we?" She nodded and sat down. Glorfindel was very good with children, and Sídhiel was not immune to his charm. "A long time ago I did hurt your ada. It was wrong. I made a serious mistake. I want to apologize to your ada. I want to take care of him until he is healed. I hope that in time he will forgive me." His blue eyes glittered with unshed tears. "I know you may not understand what I have said, but please understand I do not want to hurt your ada. I hope I can help him instead. Will you trust me and let me see him?"

Sídhiel looked at Glorfindel and wanted to trust him. He was magnificent and had such kind eyes, which looked so sad right now. As she recalled a conversation with another formidable elf, she gulped. "Will you swear to never hurt him again? Cross your heart?"

Glorfindel's smile was tight and sad. "I swear, pen neth, that I will do my best to never hurt your ada again. I only want him healed, both outside and in. Cross my heart."

Sídhiel smiled and stood, reaching her hand out to Glorfindel. "Then let's go take care of him together."

~~~*~~~

  
Sídhiel sat on the bed beside Erestor's head and proceeded to brush the stray locks from his forehead. "Oh, Ada, please wake up. Glorfindel is here and wants to talk to you. I said it would be fine, but I will stay, too. Please wake up. I miss you." Tears ran down her rosy cheeks.

Glorfindel sat in the chair beside the bed and held Erestor's hand. "We will both stay, pen neth." His chest constricted at the sight before him. Erestor looked like a statue of cold, lifeless marble, not the vibrant, sensual beauty he remembered. And the child's heartbreak was obvious, making Glorfindel feel pained. _Erestor come back to us. She needs you. **I** need you._

Sídhiel looked up. "Do you think they'd mind if we got in next to him and cuddled up? I always feel better when I don't wake up alone after being sick."

"I think that is a wonderful idea. How about if you sleep on this side next to him, and I hold him from behind? With us this way, he will be surrounded by those who love him."

~~~*~~~

  
When Elrond and Elladan walked in to check on their advisor, they smiled at the scene. Glorfindel was reclining against the headboard cradling Erestor gently in his arms while Sídhiel was curled up next to his uninjured side, all three sleeping. "Adar, when did this happen? The last I saw of this little spitfire, she would not let our seneschal anywhere near her ada."

"I would imagine that Glorfindel has lost nothing of his persuasiveness."

"Will Erestor recover?" Elladan was suddenly overcome with the thought that his mentor, caregiver, and friend would no longer be with them.

"I do not know. His wounds were severe, but he obviously has much to return for. I just hope he realizes that, Iôn. Come, let us take this time to rest ourselves." Both elves left the healing wing, each lost in his own thoughts.  
TBC  
 **Translations:**  
Ethuil – late spring  
meldir – my friend (male)  
mellon nín – my friend  
híren – my lord  
hannon le – I thank you  
pen neth – young one  
Ada – daddy  
pen vuin – dear one  
Adar – father  
iôn – son


	15. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams and hope…

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
_internal thoughts be in italics_   
**bold is used for emphasis**

Chapter 15:

 _Ethuil, Imladris, 2818 T.A._

Erestor awoke in a grey, lifeless landscape that stretched to the horizon in all directions. He found himself sitting on what appeared to be a rock. Looking up, he noticed that the sky itself was the same dull grey, as though thick dark clouds covered the entire expanse. After trying to focus on his memories to determine where he was and why, he remembered the battle with the orcs and the lancing pain, but there was nothing after that. _Am I dead? This place is obviously not Mandos' Halls, but where in Mordor am I?_ A movement in the distance caught his eye and he watched as a figure came striding up to him.

Erestor thought he recognized the elf in front of him, as liquid silver eyes gazed out from a breathtakingly beautiful face. Long dark hair swirled around the tall, willowy form as though the locks were being caressed by a slight breeze. The elf's inner light was almost blinding as he closed upon Erestor, who did not stand as the Vala came before him. "Híren, are you here to further taunt and torment me? Have you no other to offer you amusement?" His words were spoken softly, but the Vala before him clearly heard the bitterness in them.

"Ah, my dear Counselor, I do not torment. I only attempt to bring understanding."

"Understanding?" Erestor spat angrily. "What does reminding me of my public humiliation have to do with understanding?"

"Public humiliation? Your dreams are not open for all to see; they are for you to remember things you may have forgotten. Come. We have much to see." Irmo, Lord of Dreams, held out his hand, and Erestor, seeing his countenance, knew this was not a request.

As soon as Erestor stood and took the Vala's hand, the grey landscape vanished…

~~~*~~~

  
The smoke was so thick that he could hardly see as he raced through the streets, his few men that were left at his heels. Tuor was signaling to flee, abandon the city, but he was not leaving alone. Not without his lover. Where was he? As The House of the Fountain came into view, he glimpsed ebony hair through the smoke. "Thel!" And, then the smoke cleared…

Before him was the most hellish sight imaginable. Ecthelion was standing in front of the huge fountain, his right arm obviously useless, broken and burned. Bearing down on him was Gothmog, the Lord of the Balrogs. "Thel! No!" But his screams went unheard over the roar of the monster and the battle. Gothmog was obviously wounded as he attacked Ecthelion. And for a brief, shining moment, it appeared that Thel would be victorious when his sword stabbed into the heart of the beast… but Ecthelion was too badly hurt, and too unsure that this titan would be so easily undone, that he jerked backward for another strike and, instead, toppled them both into the water, which immediately began to boil.

He collapsed in that moment, but his men were loyal and strong. They grabbed him and began running with him until they could bring him to his senses. "Thel! No!" he kept muttering, until his second slapped him and said, "Sir, hold on a bit longer. We must make sure the Princess and her family are safe. There will be time to grieve, but **not** now."

He roused himself and remembered his duty. He was the Lord of the House of the Golden Flower. He was a Captain in King Turgon's army. He would **not** succumb to his own misery, not yet, not while those in his charge were still in peril. He would not let Ecthelion's sacrifice be in vain.

He and his men followed the refugees, guarding their backs, through the hidden ways. When they arrived atop the Cirith Thoronath, he looked back and watched his beloved city burn. He urged the refugees farther on until he felt the ground shake and heard a bellow. There behind him was another of the demons. He could do this. He **would** do this, for Thel, and for Gondolin. His exhaustion was no more. All he retained was a grim determination and a desire to end it. He charged. The battle was brief. He was victorious as the demon fell over the cliff, but he did not see the whip, until it was already wrapped around his hair. He did not hear the screams from his men until he was already falling, flames searing him…

Erestor jerked away from the Vala's touch and was immediately returned to the grey landscape. "What in Mordor!?" It had been so real. The pain of losing his lover, and then the very real physical pain of feeling his own death… "Why?" he asked, even though he knew. He understood.

Irmo brushed Erestor's cheek with his thumb. "This is the same nightmare that Glorfindel has been experiencing since his return. It was rare for a time, kept at bay under your care, but now it comes each night with more vigor than ever and it is eating away at him."

Erestor shivered, still trying to regain his control and composure from living Glorfindel's last minutes. The tears wetting his cheeks were for Glorfindel, as he realized what anguish the Elda had gone through. And the thought that he was continually reliving this nightmare made Erestor ache deeply for him. He asked, sharply, "You are the Vala of Dreams; why can you not do something for him?"

"I do not bring this dream to him. He summons it from his own grief and guilt."

Trying to cover his feelings, Erestor again became the counselor and historian. "So he and Ecthelion were lovers. Why was this never mentioned in the histories? Why has he never said anything?"

"One died to defend his city and king, the other died from his grief, for as sure as the Balrog took Glorfindel down, it was only able to because he did not wish to live any longer. They were recorded as simply the heroes that they were. They had a great love, Erestor, but they were not soul mates. Glorfindel has his own reasons for not revealing his past. If you wish to know what those are, I suggest you ask him yourself. Take my hand."

As Erestor's hand reached out and made contact, the grey landscape was no more…

~~~*~~~

  
The sun was high in the sky, with a slight breeze. He was being chased and was laughing giddily. Suddenly, he was caught and swung around, giggles slipping from his lips. When he was finally sat back upon the ground, the world spun dizzily by and his legs would not hold him. But he did not fall. Strong arms held him until the whirling slowed. He looked up and there above him was the tall, dark elf, smiling. He was so happy when that elf smiled at him!

The vision swirled again…

When the horse reared up, he was scared, but then the deep voice comforted both him and the horse as the dark elf rode up beside him. This was a large horse and quite skittish, but the elf made everything better. He always made everything better. And now he was able to ride the big charger without help! He looked at the tall, dark elf and swelled under the pride he saw gleaming in those kind, brown eyes.

Another swirling, and this time he found himself in a little cottage in the dark, with only a candle beside him for light. Strong arms encircled him as his head rested on the slowly moving chest. He was lulled to sleep as the deep voice rumbling in his ear told him a story. He had never felt so safe and secure and **loved** as he did right now. He closed his eyes in sweet slumber and awoke in the grey landscape with Irmo's smiling face looking at him.

"That is what Sídhiel feels when she's with me? That is how she sees me?" Erestor's voice was laden with emotion at the adoration and love the little one viewed him with.

"Yes, you have become the world to that child. Her grandmother was too troubled by her own grief and fear to devote the time the child needed, so she became wild and independent, seeming to need no one. But as you now understand, Sídhiel needs someone to love her, guide her, and show pride in her. All roles you have easily taken on."

"Why do you show me these things?"

"My dear Counselor, there is still much to be done in Middle Earth and Glorfindel must be able to play his part. He cannot, if he succumbs to his guilt and refuses to heal."

Erestor was growing angry, "Well I do not see that his guilt has anything to do with me, nor could I have anything to do with his healing. You have the wrong elf for that."

Irmo chuckled at this. "Wrong elf? Oh, I think not. He is consumed with guilt for what he perceives as a betrayal of Ecthelion, but even worse is his guilt at hurting you. That Elda is far too noble for his own good. He loves you. Glorfindel needs you, but you terrify him. If he acknowledges his feelings for you then he must give up Ecthelion. He has not yet been able to do so, but that time is nigh."

"And what does Glorfindel have to do with Sídhiel? They have never even met." Erestor realized he was growling at the Vala, fearing that Irmo was plotting upon the child.

"You have both proven yourselves far too stubborn and are forcing our intervention. We have given that little one a role in both your lives. Once she has fulfilled that role, then, and only then, will Glorfindel be able to heal and gain his full strength, which will soon be needed. Enough words, Counselor. You cannot analyze everything. Sometimes it is best if you simply let your heart lead. It is time for you to return. Námarië, Erestor." The Vala lightly kissed the advisor on the lips and all consciousness fled.

~~~*~~~

  
Erestor moaned quietly and his lids fluttered slightly. Instantly, two forms were at his side, gazing with concern into his barely open eyes. He blinked and stared blearily into two pairs of eyes, one azure blue, the other, deepest indigo. "Water," he croaked.

Instantly, Elladan appeared with a small cup of water and held it to Erestor's dry lips as Glorfindel tilted his head up. Leaning back into the pillow, he immediately fell into slumber; but this time it was a natural, healing sleep instead of one forced upon him by Elrond's healing energies and potions.

Elladan smiled slightly, his heart lightened by the darkling elf's progress.

"Lord Elladan, will my ada be all right now?" A tentative smile and hope shone brightly from the child's face.

Elladan realized that the self same emotion was reflected on his and the seneschal's face as well. "I think so, pen dithen. Let me inform Adar so he can tell us more."

~~~*~~~

  
Upon hearing the insistent knock at his door, Elrond waved for Saelbeth to go and see what was so urgent. At seeing Elladan's smile, the healer asked, "I trust you have good news that could not wait, Iôn?" Both Aurvellas and Saelbeth eagerly waited to hear his reply as well.

"Adar, Erestor woke for a brief moment and requested water. He is back asleep now, but there are two hopeful folk at his bedside awaiting your pronouncement on how our dark one is doing. Could you attend to him shortly?"

The Lord of Imladris looked at his advisors and realized that their discussions had not really gotten anywhere, as they hadn't even come to a decision on the next day's Council meetings. No matter. He needed to check on Erestor. That must come first. "That is wonderful news, indeed, Elladan. Please wait, I will go with you immediately. Saelbeth, Aurvellas, I must check on Erestor. Let us continue these discussions after dinner."

Elrond caught the disappointment that flitted across Saelbeth's face, and he knew that he was pushing the advisor, but there really was no other option. Even though it was necessary, the Peredhel did not desire that Saelbeth's family suffer, and the advisor had yet to be home this past week before his little iôn was already asleep. Saelbeth rose, and quickly bowing, hurriedly left with barely a word.

Aurvellas was disappointed as well, for he had been looking forward to listening to the minstrels in the Hall of Fire after dinner. There would be a certain king in attendance that the warrior loved to watch; even though Aurvellas had not yet gotten the nerve to approach Thranduil. Frowning slightly, Aurvellas bowed and said, "By your leave, híren, I will return here immediately after the evening meal."

Elladan noticed the reluctance with which both advisors had greeted his father's words. While walking beside Elrond, he noticed how tired and drawn his father seemed. Worrying, Elladan could not keep silent. "Adar, could you not give everyone a break from the Council tomorrow? You have been overdoing it by giving Erestor continuous care, as well as attending every meeting. I am certain even Thranduil would understand. He would likely welcome a break that might give him the opportunity to get to know our home better." As Elrond was about to protest, Elladan continued, "Surely you noticed how pained Saelbeth was by your request to return after dinner? How much time have you allowed him to spend with his family? And even Aurvellas was most reluctant. I do believe he would relish a break as well. Everyone is entitled to time off. Please, Adar, consider my words."

Before Elrond could reply, they walked into Erestor's room, and he was silenced by the hope shining from two faces.  
TBC  
 **Translations:**  
Ethuil – late spring  
híren – my lord  
námarië – farewell (Quenya)  
pen dithen – little one  
Adar – father


	16. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A necessary respite…

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
_internal thoughts be in italics_

  
Chapter 16:

 _Ethuil, Imladris, 2818 T.A._

Elrond's heart clenched at the love and hope shining from the eyes staring up at him. Knowing that emotions had a strong influence on healing, he mentally gathered his strength and strode confidently into Erestor's room. After a thorough examination of his wounds, the healer was confident that the advisor would recover. There was very little sign of infection in both injuries and the spear wound seemed to be healing quite well. The gash on the dark elf's thigh was still cause for concern and, at Elrond's frown while examining that injury, Glorfindel asked, "Will he regain use of his leg, Elrond?"

Startled, Sídhiel looked up at the Elda. She had seen Gran amputate a leg before. It was a horrifying memory that she did not want to relive, especially not with her Ada. "No! Please say that he won't lose his leg!"

The child's reaction surprised all in the room, and Elladan quickly hugged her and tried to comfort her. "Ada, could you please explain the concern to us?"

For some reason, this child picked up on emotional undercurrents and tensions that no elf child, and especially not a Peredhel child, should be aware of. This was unnerving to Elrond, but he tried to be soothing in his response. "Pen neth, do not worry, your ada will not lose his leg. I am yet uncertain whether he will walk completely unaided again, but that is a long time down the road. Erestor is resting normally now, just keep taking such good care of him and he will be back to his full strength soonest."

At Elrond's reassurances, the tension fled Sídhiel and she snuggled into Elladan's embrace. "Would you read me a story, 'Dan?" He agreed, and the pair nestled into the large chair next to Erestor's bed while Glorfindel and Elrond conversed quietly on the balcony.

"Glorfindel, have you noticed the child's behavior as being odd or out of the ordinary?"

"I should think there is nothing ordinary about the child's life at the moment, Elrond. What are you asking?"

"It is just… Aí, she is very perceptive, and it just seems unusual to me, especially in one so young."

"I have noticed that she is keenly attuned to emotional responses, but are not most children creatures who live by the vagaries and whims of emotion? How else would they survive before they learn to speak? Mayhap, she has just been more isolated than most, and has not lost touch with that early skill."

"Perhaps. It may be nothing more than an overtired elf's imagination getting carried away. Either way, I do believe we both should rest. You look awful, meldir."

Chuckling as they turned back to the room, the Elda retorted, "As do you, mellon nín." Glorfindel watched as Elladan tucked the child into bed next to Erestor. She had fallen asleep in his arms as he read to her. "I had no idea you were so skilled with little ones, Elladan. You seem quite taken with Sídhiel."

"She has wormed her way into my heart, almost from the very first." Shaking his head, he lightly kissed her brow. "Ada, Fin is right. You are over tired and need to rest. And Ada is right as well, Glorfindel. You do look awful. Go to your rooms and refresh yourself. I will stay with these two." With that, he settled into the large chair, leaned back, and stretched his legs out.

Glorfindel stretched his stiff neck and agreed that a bath and nap in his own rooms sounded delightful. Before he walked from the room with Elrond, he turned back to take one last look at his darkling love, his heart warmed by the assurance that Erestor would recover, thus gifting him with the opportunity to win his love back. He and Elrond walked out of the now quiet room in companionable silence.

~~~*~~~

  
As Elrond took his leave of Glorfindel at the Elda's door, he began to contemplate all that had occurred in the past week while walking slowly toward his study. He was so lost in thought that he didn't see Gelirion until he had already run into the young minstrel.

Sheets of parchment went flying, but the minstrel was a consummate performer and caught himself before he said anything foolish to the lord of the house. "Híren, my pardon. I did not see you turn the corner."

The collision pulled Elrond from his musing and he immediately began to help Gelirion pick up the scattered papers. "Nay, it is I that was at fault, pen neth. Please forgive my carelessness." He shook his head at how distracted he was. _Elladan is right. I do need to rest and regain strength and energy_. "I know that I practically strode right over you and have made a complete mess of your papers, but would you aid me all the same?"

Gelirion was nervous being so close to the powerful Lord of Imladris, but he nodded, hoping the needed aid could be quickly accomplished.

"Ah, good. Do you know where Saelbeth's rooms are located?" Elrond was becoming increasingly enamored of the idea of taking a break from the planning and Council activities.

Gelirion was familiar with Saelbeth's rooms for he often went there to give lessons to Melpomaen. Relieved, he nodded.

"Would you please go there and tell Saelbeth to come to my office immediately? Inform him that I need but half an hour of his time and then he will be free of me for the rest of the evening and all of tomorrow."

"Certainly, Híren, it would be my pleasure." Gelirion nodded and, giving a slight bow, hurried away.

~~~*~~~

  
At the soft knock on the door, Saelbeth groaned. He had so hoped to be left alone with his family for the short time he had been given. Silamothien smiled and rose gracefully from her chair before saying, "I will take care of this. Elrond gave you a brief respite and you shall have it."

Melpomaen looked up from studying the board in front of him, welcoming the distraction, for he was certain that there was nothing he could do to win this round of checkers. When he heard the melodic voice, he quickly leapt up and hurried to the foyer. "Master Gelirion! Is it time for another lesson?"

"Mel, Gelirion has other duties besides tutoring you. He needs to speak with your father for a moment." Silamothien gently chided her son, but smiled brightly. Mel was such a reserved child that it was good to see him so enthused about his music lessons.

"Oh, I am sorry, Master Gelirion, I just wanted to show you how much I've been practicing." Mel cast his eyes downward to try to hide his disappointment.

As his chin was tilted up, Mel looked into kind, smiling eyes. "Maybe you still can, pen dithen. I would be delighted to hear your song once I have delivered a message to your father." Turning to Silamothien, he asked, "If that meets your approval, my Lady?"

"That would be lovely. Hannon le, Gelirion." Silamothien was pleased that Gelirion is so patient and kind to her son.

"Did I hear something about a message?" Saelbeth had walked into the foyer and put his arm casually about his wife's waist. "You can just return to whoever sent you, Gelirion, and inform him that I am indisposed at the moment. I should think I have earned a few hours of leisure with my family."

Gelirion's eyes widened at the thought. He couldn't return to Lord Elrond with that message!

Silamothien turned to her husband. "Shhh. Do not chide the messenger. Just listen, meleth nín."

Gelirion cleared his throat and began, "Lord Elrond bids you to come to his office soonest. He said that if you would give him but half an hour of your time, you could be free of him for the rest of this evening and all of tomorrow."

Upon hearing that he would have a much needed break, Saelbeth was most eager to go attend to Elrond. Lightly kissing his wife and tousling his son's hair, he quickly departed, saying, "I will return soon and we shall celebrate by not leaving our rooms."

Laughing, Silamothien motioned the minstrel toward the sitting area and said to Mel, "Well, run and get set up. We can not take all of Master Gelirion's evening."

~~~*~~~

  
When Aurvellas opened his door at the insistent knock, he found Elladan standing outside in the corridor.

"May I come in?" Elladan had always liked Aurvellas even though they did not often have the chance to spend time together unless they were on the practice fields.

"Of course. My humble home is always open to you." He motioned Elladan to the sitting area in his cozy quarters. "What brings you here, this early evening?"

"I bring good news. Adar has cancelled your meeting for tonight and the Council meetings for tomorrow. I think he was finally convinced that a break was in order." At seeing Aurvellas' entire countenance light up, Elladan was indeed glad that Elrond had finally consented to the time off. "And, since you will have free time, I was hoping to talk to you about this warrior exchange proposal of yours." Elladan did not fail to notice that the light recently kindled in the light grey eyes was quickly extinguished at his words, so he hastily continued, "Oh, I did not mean for it to be a formal discussion. I was thinking we could chat in the Hall of Fire over a glass of wine while listening to the minstrels."

"That does sound enjoyable. I have been looking forward to spending some time in the Hall again, but despaired of ever being able to while these Council meetings are ongoing. Lord Elrond is most insistent that the day's discussions be thoroughly analyzed and annotated that same evening, and the next day's meetings be carefully plotted out, thus leaving me no time. This past week has made me ever grateful that I am a warrior, and insured that I will never doubt my career choice." He laughed easily and smiled brightly.

Elladan joined him in the laughter for he well understood what Aurvellas meant, but being the heir of Imladris, Elladan would not always be able to forego such things. Clasping Aurvellas shoulder, the Peredhel said, "We shall meet up after dinner, then?"

"Yes, you can count on it." Aurvellas showed Elladan out, and then eagerly set about preparing himself for the evening. He had not planned on changing before, but now, thinking on who might be in the Hall of Fire, the warrior wanted to look his best, so he bathed with scented oils and put on a light grey tunic over dark grey shirt and leggings, with ankle high black suede boots. The contrast suited his complexion and highlighted his eyes. Once his warrior braids were complete, Aurvellas was pleased at the figure smiling at him in the mirror.

~~~*~~~

  
Elladan's eyes wandered around the small white room, taking in the darkling elf's sleeping form and the little auburn haired body snuggled next to him. Once his eyes left the bed, they moved to the balcony where Glorfindel was standing, obviously tired by the slump of his shoulders. "Glorfindel? Should you not be asleep yourself? It is not necessary for you to be here every moment."

The Elda turned, his exhaustion evident. "I cannot leave these two. Erestor might prefer that I would, but I promised Sídhiel that she and I would care for Erestor together. I cannot leave her here alone." He slumped into the overstuffed chair next to the bed and tried to make himself comfortable, but obviously failing.

"It has been long enough, Glorfindel. The child needs a more permanent place to stay. She really should not reside here, if for no other reason than she is increasingly driving the healers to distraction. It is not natural for a child to be cooped up, and it can be especially difficult for such a spirited one."

"What do you suggest? Neither Erestor's nor my rooms are appropriate. I know that Gildor would care for the child if he were but here." Glorfindel looked at Elladan expectantly.

"I believe you have overlooked Saelbeth and Silamothien. They already have Melpomaen to deal with, so would be well able to handle our little Sídhiel until Erestor is fit enough to do so himself." Elladan was quite confident that the advisor and tutor would readily volunteer if the dilemma ever came up in their presence, but Glorfindel was not so sure.

"How can you be so certain? Sídhiel is my responsibility while Erestor and Gildor cannot care for her. I would not wish for them to agree to this simply because they would never refuse a request from any of us."

"Sídhiel is more than just your responsibility, she is one of us, and we will see to it that she is cared for. But, have no fear, I am certain that they will simply volunteer, especially if Silamothien ever learns that she has been staying here. You know how she looks after all of her students."

"Are you suggesting that Sídhiel begin attending school as well? Do you not fear that it will be too many disruptions in the poor child's life?"

Elladan looked back at the bed and thought on all he had learned of the child sleeping there. "I think that child is more resilient than any of us imagine. She will benefit from a 'home' to stay in and school will be a good experience for her." Glorfindel still looked doubtful, but he ceased arguing, and Elladan continued. "It is late. I will take my leave of you for tonight. Please try to rest. If you will not return to your own room, at least sleep on the bed. It is large enough for the three of you." With a knowing smirk, Elladan left the healing wing.  
TBC  
 **Translations:**  
Ethuil – late spring  
pen neth – young one  
meldir – my friend (male)  
mellon nín – my friend  
Adar/Ada – father/daddy  
híren – my lord  
pen dithen – little one  
meleth nín – my love  



	17. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A picnic leads to a change…

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
_internal thoughts be in italics_   
**bold is used for emphasis**

  
Chapter 17:

 _Ethuil, Imladris, 2818 T.A._

Glorfindel arose at dawn and stretched, every muscle more relaxed than before; it had helped immensely to sleep in the bed instead of attempting to rest while being upright in the chair. When the valley gradually came alive as Anor's light flowed into it, the blond stood at the balcony and watched his home change from a world of flat grey and silent shadows to one of riotous color and a symphony of sound.

Glorfindel was a creature of the sun, and he would be hard pressed to remain in a dismal mood on such a glorious late spring day. The outdoors called to him, his need to be active and away from these four walls growing, but how could he leave Erestor? What if the advisor awoke and the blond was not there? How could he hope to regain the dark elf's trust, if he couldn't stay at his bedside while he was healing? The Elda was torn between dueling needs, and was yet unsure which should take precedence.

Pulled from his contemplation by a commotion in the room, Glorfindel turned and grinned. Sídhiel was barring a young healer from seeing to Erestor, and the ellon was growing increasingly frustrated with the advisor's charge. Stepping into the room, the Elda intervened. "Sídhiel, please step away and let the healer do his work. He will not harm your ada."

With a defiant glare and audible growl directed toward the young healer, the child stepped away, but only far enough to allow the healer close to Erestor. Glorfindel shook his head in amazement at the sheer audacity of Sídhiel, but he spoke firmly. "Leave him be and come here, pen dithen."

Pouting, she relented and walked over toward the blond, but her eyes never left the healer, who was much relieved now that she had stepped away. _How do I scold her for caring? This one is going to test everyone's patience, that I can tell._

Before the Elda could take the child to task, Elladan strode into the room, smiling brightly and carrying a large wicker basket. When Sídhiel saw him come in, her pouting was forgotten, and he had an armful of squealing child to go with the basket. "Elladan! I'm so glad you're here. This stranger is trying to touch my ada. I do not know him, but I know he can't be as good a healer as you. Are you here to send him away?"

Elladan felt instant sympathy for the young healer as he met pleading grey eyes. "Nay, he is an excellent healer. I trust him to take good care of Erestor, but I will stay just the same, while you two avail yourselves of this radiant day with a ride and a picnic."

The mention of a lovely afternoon outside instantly dismissed all concern from Sídhiel's mind, and she whirled around to look at Glorfindel to see his reaction. "We are going, aren't we? Oh, say we can!"

Glorfindel smiled, quite pleased that their idea had met with such a positive reaction. "Hmmm… well, I suppose… if you are certain that Elladan is competent enough to take care of your ada for the afternoon?"

Hugging Elladan swiftly, the child reached for the basket. "Elladan is the best healer in all of Arda, you know that! I'm ready, so let's go!"

"Hannon le, Elladan." As he stepped near the Peredhel, the blond whispered in his ear, "You might not want your Adar to hear Sídhiel's opinion of your skills, meldir, he might never allow you to leave the healing wing." Glorfindel took the basket, which the child had been struggling with, and offered his free hand to Sídhiel. She clasped it eagerly and practically dragged the Elda from the room.

The pair were crossing the courtyard heading toward the stables, with Sídhiel excitedly talking non-stop, when Aurvellas saw Glorfindel and waved at him, hoping to capture a few moments of the captain's time. As the warrior drew near, Sídhiel quieted, and hung back, unsure of herself for a moment. The Elda clasped Aurvellas' arm tightly and, without releasing the warrior, turned to Sídhiel to introduce them.

Aurvellas noticed the child's wide eyes and hesitance, so he knelt down and smiled broadly in greeting. "I am so pleased to finally meet you, my Lady. I have heard much of you and this is indeed an honor for me."

Sídhiel looked into twinkling grey eyes and instantly relaxed, her apprehension vanishing. Impulsively she wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a big hug before she stepped back. "You're a really nice elf, aren't you? I can tell, you know."

Laughing as he stood, Aurvellas replied, "Why I would like to think so, and I am indeed glad that you think so as well."

The warrior and the captain conversed about many things, especially how Erestor fared and suggestions for presenting their proposal to the Council. While they talked, Sídhiel wandered the edge of the courtyard, quietly observing the numerous elves and their activities. She couldn't recall ever seeing so many people in a single place. It was exciting, if a bit overwhelming for the child. By the time she had made a complete circuit of the courtyard, the warriors were done talking, and Glorfindel motioned Sídhiel into the large stables set away from the courtyard down a wide cobblestone path under the trees.

Sídhiel followed the Elda into the dimly lit stables until they were at a large stall in the back. When the child walked into the stall, she stood, rooted to the spot, as intelligent brown eyes surveyed her. Realizing that she was confronted with more than a mere horse, Sídhiel carefully walked up to Asfaloth and pressed her forehead to the stallion's lowered muzzle. Glorfindel was taken aback at the scene in front of him, but he made no move to intervene for he trusted his steed implicitly. After more than a few moments of silence, the child stepped back and smiled brightly, while Asfaloth shook his head and mane and whinnied gleefully. As she rubbed his nose, she looked up at the Elda, and asked, "Well, what are we waiting for? Asfaloth is in the mood for a brisk run today."

The Elda stood in stunned silence for a moment, but quickly recovered, hoping that Sídhiel had not noticed his reaction. _I think I begin to see a glimpse of Elrond's unease about the child. I did not think it possible for another besides me to speak to Asfaloth._ "Are you now indeed, my friend? Hmm… you shall be forced to wear a saddle, though, or we shan't have a place to tie the picnic basket." Glorfindel was busily checking Asfaloth over to insure that all was well with his mount.

In short order, all three were joyously flying across the open plains of Imladris, once Glorfindel released the reins and gave Asfaloth his head. The Elda kept a tight grip on the child, but his concern proved unnecessary as Sídhiel was quite comfortable on the stallion's back, even at this breakneck speed. Their joy was contagious and Glorfindel soon found himself more relaxed and comfortable than he could recall being in a very long time.

By the time Asfaloth slowed down, the trio was far from the Last Homely House, but near a lovely bubbling spring surrounded by willow trees. This was the perfect spot for a picnic on a warm Ethuil day.

After finishing their meal, Sídhiel and Glorfindel were lying on the blanket, peering up at the fluffy white clouds through the limbs of the willow. "I see a rabbit! What do you see, Glorfindel?"

Taking advantage of the opening, the Elda replied, "I believe I see a home, with a family."

Confused, Sídhiel looked up, but could not determine what clouds could possibly have looked like a 'home'. "A home? Where? I can't find it."

"Not one in the sky, pen dithen, but one back in Imladris." At Sídhiel's blank expression, Glorfindel continued. "You cannot stay in the House of Healing any longer. It is not good for you or for the healers. So, Saelbeth and Silamothien have agreed that you can go live with them and their iôn, Melpomaen."

"What? I don't want to live with them! I want to stay with my ada and you and Elladan! I won't go!"

Sídhiel's reaction surprised Glorfindel. "But, they have a nice home, and Mel is very close to your own age. You will like it there."

The child's face fell. "You don't want me, either. No one does. Probably not even my ada once he's better…" As her words trailed off, she moved to get up, but Glorfindel grabbed her and held her tightly to his chest. He realized that he had handled this badly and seemed to open old wounds he was unaware the child carried.

"Sídhiel, please, let me explain. We all care about you and want you. We want you to be happy and get settled into life here in Imladris. You cannot do that if you spend the entire time in the healing wing. Would you not like a friend your own age?" Glorfindel was rubbing soothing circles on the child's back, hoping to convince her that she was not being cast aside.

"I've never had a friend my own age… Are you sure you're not just trying to get rid of me? Even my own mother didn't want me." The child's words were spoken softly with an undercurrent of pain that Glorfindel had not heard in her voice before. At that moment, the Elda realized that Sídhiel mattered very much to him, and he wanted to be a part of her life forever.

"Oh, sweet one, look at me." He lifted her chin up so their eyes could meet. "I love you. Never think I would want to be rid of you. Your home is in Imladris with us, so you have to start joining in life here, doing all the things required of our children, which includes going to school." Kissing her forehead, he drew her close again.

"I've never been to school before. Gran always taught me what I needed to know." Brightening from the continued reassurance and comfort, Sídhiel finally began to grasp what Glorfindel was saying. "This isn't a forever change? It's just until Ada is better. Is that it?"

"Yes, sweetling. Erestor would never stand for you to be away from him once he is recovered, just as I do not want you far from me, either." Glorfindel smiled as the clouds of doubt left the dark blue eyes and a tentative grin graced her face.

"You have to promise me that I will get to spend time with you and Ada everyday, no matter what."

"No matter what." The blond repeated and hugged her tightly. "Now, we should probably head back. Elladan promised Silamothien that you would be there in time for dinner. She wanted you to have time to get settled in before bed. Will that suit you?"

"I suppose so. If I get to see my ada first. Will Elladan stay with me for dinner?" Sídhiel was nervous at meeting these new people, but at least now she knew it was only for a short time.

"You shall have to ask him that, but I suspect he has planned to do so. Now, we should hurry so you can spend some time with Erestor. Maybe he will even be wholly awake."

~~~*~~~

  
Sídhiel was still chattering excitedly as they entered Erestor's dimly lit room. Elladan shushed the child as they walked in. "Oh, Elladan! I had so much fun! Asfaloth is the most magnificent steed I've ever seen! He practically flies!" She whispered loudly.

"I am pleased you had a lovely day." Elladan met Glorfindel's eyes with a question. At the Elda's nod and slight smile, Elladan sighed with relief. "Now, pen neth, I believe we have a dinner date, but you should clean up a bit first."

"How was Ada today? Did he awaken for very long?" Sídhiel was not eager to go, nor did she wish to clean up, so she was quite happy to delay both for as long as possible.

"Actually Erestor had a very good day. He awoke twice and drank some tea." Sídhiel's face fell at the news she had missed any of Erestor's coherent times. "Do not be sad, Sídhiel. He is growing stronger every day and will soon be awake for more than a few moments at a time. I will make sure you will not miss that when it occurs."

Sídhiel leant over Erestor and kissed his forehead. She looked at the darkling elf and silently wished for him to get better quickly. "I love you, Ada. I'm sorry I won't be here as much, but Glorfindel and Elladan will take good care of you."

Glorfindel hugged Sídhiel. "Goodnight, sweet one. I will guard your ada's dreams."

"Hannon le, for everything." She pulled away and turned to Elladan, reluctantly. "Well, I guess we should go…"

"Ah, yes, I had them run a bath for you and laid out fresh clothes next door. You will have to bathe quickly, as we do not want to be late."

~~~*~~~

  
As night settled on the Last Homely House, Glorfindel tried unsuccessfully to get comfortable in the large chair next to Erestor's bed. Realizing that it was a losing battle, he gave in and climbed into bed next to the darkling elf. Whispering quietly to Erestor, the blond recounted the events of the day, and revealed how much he cared for Sídhiel.

Glorfindel looked down at the pale face and clouded brown eyes, marveling at the darkling's beauty in the dim candlelight. The Elda could not resist running his fingers through the ebony hair, and he sighed as the silken tresses caressed his palms. Erestor's lips were slightly parted in slumber, and Glorfindel ran a finger over the ruby flesh. His finger continued along the jaw line and up to a leaf shaped ear. _Ah, Erestor, you are still so beautiful. Soon, very soon, you will be completely healed and then we can be together._ Fin was so taken with the ruby lips before him, he leaned down and gently pressed their lips together. _I love you, meleth nín._  
TBC  
 **Translations:**  
Ethuil – late spring  
pen dithen – little one  
Ada – daddy  
hannon le – I thank you  
meldir – my friend (male)  
iôn – son  
pen neth – young one  
meleth nín – my love


	18. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moving forward, moving sideways, moving backward…

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
_internal thoughts be in italics_

  
Chapter 18:

 _Ethuil, Imladris, 2818 T.A._

  
Sídhiel skidded to a stop beside Erestor's bed, before breathlessly apologizing. "Oh, Ada, I'm so sorry I'm late! Dinner was so stuffy and long! And, then Mel and I had to finish our homework. Mistress Silamothien is so much stricter than Gran ever was. Ugh! But, I have leave to stay tonight, if that's fine with you?" Never having taken a breath during her explanation, she quickly inhaled and continued. "I've missed you and our quiet evenings together. Could you tell me stories instead of reading tonight?"

Erestor could not hold back the bright smile the child brought to his lips. He had been disappointed that she had not arrived at her usual time, but somehow she always made it up to him, and tonight was no exception. The darkling elf was going a bit stir crazy and Sídhiel was always a good distraction from his thoughts about one golden elf lord. Patting the bed beside him, Erestor asked, "What sort of stories did you have in mind, sweetling?"

"Well, I have always wondered what it was like to know the legends that I read about? You know, High King Gil-Galad, Isildur, King Oropher, those people. What were they like?" Sídhiel quickly pulled off her outer robes and slippers, leaving her in a soft cotton sleeping gown of the deepest indigo, nearly mirroring the color of her eyes. Noticing Erestor's raised eyebrow, she answered his unspoken question, but not before twirling around a few times first. "Isn't it simply lovely? Silamothien said that I should have clothes 'befitting my station', whatever a station has anything to do with clothes, I have no idea! But I have three of these, all in the most glorious colors! I've never had anything like this. It's so soft and comfy. What do you think, Ada?"

Grinning broadly, the dark elf replied, "Obviously, Mistress Silamothien knows a thing or two about clothing a young elleth that I have yet to learn. It is a beautiful gown, very fitting for my iell." At his reminder that Sídhiel was his daughter no matter where she was living, Erestor found his good side quickly snuggled by a giggling child.

"I love you, Ada. I can't wait until we can be together in our own rooms."

Brushing stray locks from her cheeks, Erestor kissed the auburn head, and quietly mused, "I, too, look forward to that." He tried to coax the wiggly body next to him to find a comfortable spot and stay in it, with little success. "Sídhiel! Settle down and we can talk, but not until you are still."

She replied sheepishly, "Sorry, Ada. I just missed our story time and I'm excited. I will be still. I promise. So, did you really know the High King? That was so very long ago!"

Erestor thought about all of his adventures with Gil-galad and tried to find one appropriate for the child. Once he found the perfect anecdote, he began telling the tale of his first encounter with the High King. As he launched into the humorous story, Sídhiel finally relaxed and settled in to listen.

In short order, his soothing baritone had lulled the child asleep, her eyes closed and her breathing became slow and even. Ignoring the sharp tugging and pain in his thigh, Erestor turned on his side and curled around Sídhiel, for he had learned that her presence comforted him and allowed him to sleep peacefully without dreams.

~~~*~~~

  
Sídhiel awoke first and reveled in the comfort of being warm and cozy next to her ada. Before Erestor, she had slept alone, having only been allowed to sleep with her Gran if she had nightmares, and then never for the whole night. Viewing the darkling elf in repose, the child marveled at how youthful he looked, with no cares to crease his brow. She wished that he could look that way always.

Glorfindel quietly entered the room carrying a tray laden with breakfast. Seeing Sídhiel awake and smiling at him, he grinned back and gestured for her to come to the balcony. She carefully crawled from the bed, making sure she did not disturb her still recovering ada. The blond set the tray down on a table next to the small hearth in the room and then threw the balcony doors wide open.

A glorious late spring day had begun in Imladris and Glorfindel delighted in sharing the morning with Sídhiel. She was always full of questions and observations that often caused the Elda to view the valley from a new perspective, allowing him to again appreciate it as though he was newly arrived.

As the room grew increasingly bright from the warm light streaming in through the open doors, shafts of sunlight teased the advisor's face, gently caressing him to wakefulness. He stretched and the twinge in his side followed by the pain in his thigh tore him from his slumber. At his gasp, Sídhiel turned and moved to his side. "Good morning, Ada! It is going to be a beautiful day." Erestor smiled drowsily at his iell, until his eyes lit upon the golden warrior standing framed in the open balcony doors, his face shadowed and his golden hair gleaming in the morning sun.

Sídhiel watched his expression darken, but she decided that he was just in pain, so she blithely asked, "What if we share breakfast on the balcony? Glorfindel could carry you and we can make sure you're comfortable on the chaise. Doesn't that sound better than eating in this bed yet again?" Not even waiting for a response, she quickly grabbed some pillows and blankets and set about making a comfortable nest in the chaise on the balcony.

The idea of sitting in the warm, morning light did sound most desirous, but the thought that he would be clasped in Glorfindel's strong arms made his pulse quicken with trepidation. He didn't want to be that close to the Elda for he feared his body's reaction. The blond watched as delight was soon replaced by an unidentified emotion in the darkling elf's eyes.

If Glorfindel was hesitant, Sídhiel was not in the least. After walking in from the balcony, she carefully helped him change sleeping shirts, never giving Erestor the opportunity to object. Once finished, she stepped back and motioned to the blond. "He is ready now. Let's enjoy the sunshine together."

Glorfindel smirked at the image of both he and the formidable advisor being ordered about by a mere stripling of a child, but he gladly complied, for the idea of holding Erestor was irresistible. He carefully scooped up the darkling elf, who immediately stiffened once he was in the broad arms. Looking down into chocolate brown eyes, Glorfindel asked quietly, "Erestor? Did I hurt you?"

It had been centuries since Erestor had felt those arms holding him. After briefly locking eyes with azure blue ones as Fin's breath brushed past his cheek, he could not find his voice, so he only shook his head and closed his eyes to steel himself against the onslaught of emotions. The pull was strong for the Elda as well, but luckily it was only a few short steps to the chaise, and Sídhiel was instantly there fussing over Erestor, giving both a chance to compose themselves.

During the entire meal, Sídhiel chatted happily, drawing each elf out in turn, but failing to get the two talking to each other, for Erestor would never look at, nor respond directly to anything Glorfindel uttered. Undaunted, the child enjoyed the meal and determined that the three needed to do more things together. As she was finishing her juice, there was a light knock on the door.

"Oh, no! That must be Mel and Mistress Silamothien!" She jumped up, grabbed her clothes and raced behind the screen in the room, rapidly shedding her sleeping gown and replacing it with her favored leggings, light shirt, and tunic.

Smiling broadly, Glorfindel answered the door and let the pair in. "Please pardon us. We were enjoying a leisurely breakfast in the morning sun and forgot the time. Sídhiel is readying herself just now. I am certain she will be a but a moment." He motioned toward the open doors. "If you would like to wait on the balcony, it is a beautiful day."

While Sídhiel was brushing her unruly curls, and Mel was laughing at her difficulty, Silamothien visited with Erestor. She noted that the sun had done him good, but now he was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. "Glorfindel, I think Erestor is in need of a nap and I do not recommend that he take it on the balcony since it looks to be quite warm today." The Elda hurried to her side to check on the darkling elf. "Do you need help to settle him?" she asked.

Glorfindel shook his head, and gently picked up the half-dozing elf. Once in the strong arms, Erestor snuggled against the broad, firm chest and was instantly asleep. The blond enjoyed the feeling of holding Erestor and reluctantly placed him back in his bed. Sídhiel had given up on her hair and helped the Elda tuck the darkling elf in. She hugged the blond tightly and kissed his cheek. "Have a good day, Glorfindel." She turned back to her ada and brushed a light kiss along his brow. "Sweet dreams, Ada. I love you."

The three left quietly, and Glorfindel carefully cleared the dishes and set the tray outside the door. After deciding against staying on the balcony, he made himself comfortable in the large chair next to Erestor's bed and simply sat in the hushed silence and watched the darkling elf sleep.

~~~*~~~

  
As the door closed behind him, Glorfindel turned toward the bed, when he realized that the darkling elf was wide awake. Before he could take two steps, Erestor held up a hand, and narrowed his eyes at the Elda. "Stop. Why did you come back here, Glorfindel? Sídhiel is gone now, you need not keep up the pretense."

After setting down the tray with lunch on it, Glorfindel answered. "Pretense? What pretense? I am staying to help care for you." The Elda was tired of the constant jibes and disparaging comments he had to endure from the advisor, but he was not going to give in to his anger, for he knew that Erestor's intent was to goad him to rash action and push him away.

"But why? You are no healer. I am certain your talent could be better spent elsewhere." Erestor's words were icy. Glorfindel had to be kept away from him at all cost, for he was sorely afraid that the Elda would discover the amount of power he yet held over the advisor.

"Erestor," Glorfindel sighed. "We have been over this before. I promised Sídhiel that she and I would care for you together. If one of us could not be at your side, then the other would be. I keep my promises."

The dark elf snorted at that comment. "You? Keep promises? I would think that would take a measure of empathy that you simply are not capable of. Go away, Glorfindel. Take yourself to where your skills are most useful. Since you seem to delight in destroying things, why do you not at least confine your damage to our enemies?"

Erestor's words cut Glorfindel deeply and his immeasurable patience finally snapped. As the Elda turned to leave, he said, with barely restrained anger, through clenched teeth, "I suppose I deserve your scorn and your ire for hurting you as I did, but know this, I never delighted in causing you pain. I do not even know you anymore." Unable to restrain himself, Glorfindel ripped the door open, savagely slamming it behind himself as he stormed out.

Erestor flinched and bowed his head when the door slammed closed. _Gods! When did I become so heartless and cruel? Aíya, I need out of here and away from that one! I am only doing harm to both of us._

~~~*~~~

  
Elrond caught himself smiling as he walked to the House of Healing. His need for control and order was being rewarded as the Council meetings were proceeding smoothly, much more so than he had expected. His friends seemed to have reached a détente in their broken relationship and Sídhiel seemed to be adjusting to life in Imladris quite well. All of the chaos was receding and the elf lord was feeling pleased for a change.

As Elrond rounded the last corner before the door to the healing wing, Glorfindel stormed out and ran into him with such force that he was pushed against the wall and his breath was knocked out of him. The Elda was fuming and cursing under his breath. Elrond could only discern a few words about a "blasted, stubborn elf", but knew instantly who had aroused the blond to such fury.

Glorfindel was brought up short as he realized that he had ran down Elrond in his anger. "Elrond. Forgive me."

Elrond composed himself and took Glorfindel's arm. "Come, mellon nín. We need to talk."

~~~*~~~

  
"Erestor, may I have a word with you?" Elrond asked brusquely as he walked into the dark elf's room.

"I seem to be incapable of going anywhere, Híren. What is on your mind?" Erestor replied testily, as he set down the book he was reading.

Elrond was unsurprised at Erestor's displeasure. The advisor was not one that relished being idle, for he often used his rest periods for work. Being confined to a bed for three weeks was most taxing on the advisor's temperament. Taking a seat next to the bed, Elrond began tentatively, "I know this enforced confinement has been most difficult for you, but is it at all possible for you to go easier on Glorfindel?"

Erestor leaned back into the pillows behind him, and frowned. "I do not believe that is possible. In fact, I still do not understand why he is even here. Mayhap you could make sense of that for me?"

Sighing, the elf lord schooled his features to make sure his annoyance at the advisor's behavior was not displayed. "You have a certain young Peredhel to thank for his constant attendance." The dark elf frowned in puzzlement. "Sídhiel and Glorfindel made a pact to insure that you were never alone during your convalescence."

"That was a lovely thought, but I do not wish him near me any longer." Erestor's voice was strained.

"Erestor, he worries for you." As Erestor rolled his eyes at that statement, Elrond continued, "Your near death helped him realize what you mean to him."

"Mere words."

"Not merely words. He has been at your side continuously since he carried you here. He has given up everything to look after you. He takes all the taunts and jibes you sling at him without complaint. What additional measures must he do to convince you of the depth of his feelings?"

"There is nothing he can do. Do you not see? I could never trust him again, not after what he did, and what kind of relationship can survive without trust?" Erestor practically hissed in his bitterness.

Elrond sighed, not wanting to bring up the past, but finding the example quite apropos at the moment, he answered, "No relationship can survive without trust, mellon nín, but even the worst betrayal can be forgiven and the trust regained. You being here and one of my closest friends and advisors is testament to that, is it not?" Arching his eyebrow, he stared at his friend.

Erestor quailed at the memory of his betrayal of Elrond. Closing his eyes against the painful memories that era of his life caused, he took a deep, steadying breath, and replied. "Aíya, I yield, mellon vrûn, I deserved that, and left myself wide open for it."

"I am not trying to best you in a war of words, but this antagonism towards Glorfindel needs to stop. You are hurting more than just our seneschal with every biting remark." Erestor snorted in disbelief. "Have you become so blind? Sídhiel hears every word; each time you lash out at Glorfindel, you hurt her as well."

"Nonsense, Elrond. She is too young to understand most of what I say. How could I be hurting her with my words?"

"Sídhiel is young and may not understand all of the words or innuendo, but she is extremely sensitive to emotions and can feel your intent with each strike of your tongue. She loves you, but she is beginning to fear you; afraid that you will treat her as you do Glorfindel if she dares to displease you."

"Why would she think that? I have given her no reason to believe that of me." Erestor was confused and ached at the thought that his heartless words had hit an unintended target.

"Ah, but you have. She senses how you really feel for Glorfindel, but sees how you treat him. Why would she be any different than he?" Elrond had no illusions that this discussion would convince Erestor to admit his feelings for Glorfindel and allow them to rebuild their relationship, but maybe it would make the dark elf think twice before he lashed out, thus sparing the captain additional pain.

Erestor's eyes widened and his jaw clenched as he realized the truth of Elrond's words. He sighed before replying, "Aíya, I had no idea I was doing that to her. I will school my words and be more diplomatic in the future. Hannon le, meldir, for making me aware."

"Erestor, this is about more than simply schooling your words around the child. Keeping such pain and bitterness close to your heart is poisonous. Do you know how long I blamed you for the dissolution of my marriage? Only when I let that hurt and anger go, was I free to heal and be happy."

"I do not want to discuss Glorfindel any further. That part of my life is over."

The elf lord laughed bitterly. "Love between soul mates is never over. You should think on what path you are choosing and decide if walling yourself off is really what you want and need."

Erestor had begun to ache all over as his fatigue grew. He hated being so weak, but he grew a little stronger every day, and must accept being stuck here until Elrond released him. Simply wanting the conversation to be over, he said, "I do believe you have exhausted me, and my healer will be most displeased."

Elrond understood, but hoped that he had gotten through to his friend. "Please consider what I said. Sleep well, pen vuin. It should not be much longer before you are strong enough to leave here." He leaned over and lightly kissed Erestor's brow before walking out of his room.  
TBC  
 **Translations:**  
Ethuil – late spring  
Ada – daddy  
iell – daughter  
mellon nín – my friend  
Híren – my lord  
mellon vrûn – old friend  
hannon le – I thank you  
meldir – my friend (male)  
pen vuin – dear one  



	19. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love is in the air… and the water… and the wine…

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
_internal thoughts be in italics_   
**bold is used for emphasis**

  
Chapter 19:

 _Ethuil, Imladris, 2818 T.A._

Saelbeth smiled broadly as he opened the door, steeling himself for the usual chaos that had reigned in his household since Sídhiel came to stay with them, but he was met with silence. "Sila?" He strode from the salon to their bedroom, where he found his wife, standing by the railing on the balcony. As he stepped out, Silamothien turned, and her radiant smile lit up his entire being. Taking her in his arms, he kissed her passionately, until both needed to breathe.

Brilliant blue eyes sparkling, Silamothien teased, "To what do I owe such devout attention, Híren?"

"I could not resist you, nor could I fail to take advantage of a moment alone. Those are so few and far between, especially lately. Just where are Mel and Sídhiel? Should they not be studying?"

Turning to look into the gardens, but never leaving Saelbeth's strong embrace, Silamothien pointed to the edge of the garden where two figures were laughing and chasing each other, Sídhiel's auburn hair flying behind her as she obviously won whatever game was being played when she caught Mel's dark headed form and tackled him to the ground. Their laughter wafted to the balcony.

Saelbeth's eyes widened in astonishment as he watched his usually timid son get up and run at full speed to tag Sídhiel before they both tripped and fell to the ground again. "That is our Mel?"

"Yes. I could not stop watching them." Silamothien was elated and looked into her husband's grey eyes. "She has been so good for him. I cannot fathom how she has coaxed him from his shell, but as you can see, she has done so."

Resting his head on his wife's shoulder, he nuzzled her ear and whispered huskily. "How long do you expect them to stay out there, melethril?"

Shivering as his words brushed past her ear, Silamothien closed her eyes and leaned into Saelbeth's embrace, inhaling his scent of parchment and ink with that underlying fragrance that was uniquely her husband's. "They have an assignment to find twenty different leaves, identify them, and make rubbings of them. Of course, Sídhiel has turned it into a competition to see who could identify the most. I think she will be surprised at Mel's knowledge in this." She chuckled. "I only bade them be home before dinner. Have you some free time?" Saelbeth nibbled her neck, causing a moan to escape from her lips.

"Some…" Unable to restrain himself, he turned Silamothien and kissed her gently, lightly running his tongue along her full, lower lip. Pulling back to gaze at his beloved, he breathed deeply, basking in her love. "It seems the Council is finished. No more meetings and Elrond has released me for three days."

"Ah, meleth! That is wonderful!" Wasting not even a glance over her shoulder, she grabbed her husband's hand and pulled him into the bedroom. "I have missed you so."

"And I, you."

~~~*~~~

  
Thranduil straightened his tunic and debated again if he should be here, behaving like an insecure youth with his first crush. Determined that the ellon behind this door had vexed him long enough, he knocked. As the door opened, startled light grey eyes looked into his.

"Your Highness?" Aurvellas was nonplussed, never expecting to see Thranduil at his door. Completely forgetting himself, he stood there in confusion, without saying anything further.

"May I come in?" Thranduil was greatly amused at the brown haired ellon's reaction. His fair skin flushed and he was obviously stunned that the king was standing there. "Or would you prefer that we talk in the hallway/" The blond was not above teasing, for he delighted in watching Aurvellas' flustered state and enjoyed staring at the stunning picture the warrior made as he stood in the doorway, wearing a flowing, loose white shirt tucked into tight, dark brown leggings. With his bare feet and unbound hair, the king was hard pressed to school his own reaction, for Aurvellas was proving to be quite the temptation.

Recovering his wits, Aurvellas hastily stepped back and motioned the king into his chambers. "Oh… uh… aye... Please, do come in." Realizing that his quarters had not been tidied up in quite some time, he quickly moved to pick up the clothes strewn on chairs and the floor. "Make yourself comfortable, I will be but a moment." Thranduil watched the flurry of activity with amusement, as he went to be seated in the cozy sitting area in front of the unlit hearth. Finding no clear space, he picked up maps and books; glancing at the titles, he noted with some interest the predominance of ancient strategic texts and battle analyses, but what caught his eye were two slim volumes of Silvan poetry. _Interesting mixture, treatises on warfare and love poems. Aí, Aurvellas, you are hiding much under that delicious exterior._

Aurvellas was beside himself with nerves and completely aghast at his inability to be composed around the king. Since their first meeting, and every time after, he felt he became a babbling fool whenever those piercing blue eyes were trained on him. The warrior struggled in the council whenever he and the king were debating, but he had at last been able to keep from being too tongue tied, and had hoped that he finally managed to make a good impression. But now here he was, flailing in his own rooms!

Being initially quite attracted to the king, Aurvellas had gone to the Hall of Fire as often as was possible to simply observe, but he had instead been often drawn into the king's discussions with the leaders of the other realms. Unfortunately, no matter how much the warrior enjoyed those times, the further out of reach the golden monarch seemed; the gulf in their lives was too great to span. But now here was Thranduil in his own chambers and the warrior was flitting about trying to avoid facing him. Chiding himself for his nerves, he mustered his courage and walked to the sitting area and casually stood by the hearth. He groaned inwardly when he realized that the only clear space was next to the king on the small settee, and must have been cleared off by Thranduil himself. To cover his skittishness, he lit some candles on the mantle, and then turned. "Your Majesty, would you care for some wine? I have nothing as fine as your Dorwinion, but I may have some miruvor."

"Some miruvor would be perfect." Thranduil leaned back into the settee and stretched his long legs out before him. He exhibited the grace and alertness of a large cat as he watched his 'prey' lean down to take two glasses and the Imladris' cordial from the cabinet beneath the overflowing book shelves. After pouring the drinks, Aurvellas turned and walked toward the settee, intending to overcome his shakiness and sit next to the king. Thranduil licked his lips when the warrior's neckline slipped open, revealing a hint of smooth flesh, as he handed the king his drink. "Hannon le, Aurvellas, but please… call me Thranduil. Tonight I wish to be nothing more than an ellon having a drink with a friend."

Relaxing at those words, the brunette finally sat down. He sat in his usual manner, with his back to the arm and his right leg tucked up under him, while the other rested on the soft rug, which he scrunched his toes into. This position had the effect of forcing him to face Thranduil directly and caused his knee to brush against the king's thigh. "So, Your Hi… Thranduil, to what do I owe the good fortune of your visit?" Aurvellas thrilled at the nearness of the king, but did not want to overreact to him as he had observed the king for long enough to realize he did not care for obsequious elves.

"Actually I chose to come here because all of our talks, whether in Council or the Hall of Fire, intrigued me. I always sensed that you were hiding things, keeping yourself apart for some reason. Why?" In truth, Thranduil had been strongly attracted to Aurvellas from the first time their eyes met, and their subsequent interactions only reinforced that attraction, as the warrior had not only a glorious body and lovely face, but also a sharp mind and dry wit. Sitting here so near to him was testing the king's patience as he was not accustomed to moving slowly or even having to wait to express exactly what he desired.

Aurvellas' emotions swirled dramatically as he struggled for the right words. The Mirkwood delegation was leaving in a few short days; could he answer honestly? The room suddenly seemed to grow warm as he felt the intense scrutiny of the king. Not daring to look into Thranduil's face, Aurvellas tipped his head down and answered quietly, "Your High… Thranduil, I find myself attracted to you and wish to be near you, but…" Hesitating, unsure, he took a deep breath and continued, "I do not desire to be but another notch on your scabbard, merely a toy, used and then cast aside."

The softly spoken admission rang in Thranduil's head. The attractive warrior found him desirable, but was unwilling to be a mere diversion. Such heartfelt honesty was unusual around the king as most always spoke what they thought he wanted to hear. That this one was willing to speak up, and even more telling, willing to walk away, inspired a deep longing in the king. He wanted to know this ellon better, and right now, the sight of him, dark hair falling around his face as he looked down, caused a surge of desire and lust that would not be denied. Thranduil reached out and gently tipped Aurvellas' face up. "Please. Look at me." The depth of feeling reflected in those light grey eyes took the king's breath away. He had inspired many feelings in the past, but did not recall seeing a light so pure shining just for him. Leaning across, he brushed his lips gently against soft pink ones, his tongue lightly asking for entrance.

When the king leaned in and kissed him lightly, Aurvellas was lost. In that moment he knew that he was deeply in love and readily granted the king's request. As he opened, his mouth was plundered and he was gently pressed against the arm of the settee as Thranduil shifted and leaned against him. His head spun and he reached up to tangle his hands in the silken golden strands to steady himself.

Thranduil pulled back slightly and moved from his mouth to lick at his jaw, teasingly nipping upward until his breath whispered past Aurvellas' ear, causing him to tremble. The king spoke huskily, "Aurvellas, you are so beautiful. I want you."

All of Aurvellas' earlier protestations of not wanting to be a mere dalliance flew away upon Thranduil's breath. He could deny the king nothing and, though a small part of him feared for his heart, he answered eagerly. "Aye, take me! But…not…here…" His words were punctuated by small kisses to Thranduil's teasing lips. "My bed…more comfortable."

Thranduil's heart leapt in his chest at how responsive and eager Aurvellas was. Standing, he offered a hand and helped him up. As the brunette stood, Thranduil pulled their bodies together tightly as he wrapped one arm around Aurvellas' neck and kissed him soundly, the other reached around to caress firm back muscles.

Aurvellas moaned as their groins were pressed firmly together and his mouth was demandingly taken. He could not stop himself from lightly rocking against Thranduil's hardness and he tangled his hands in the golden hair, momentarily stopping to undo the braids. He loved the king's hair and couldn't stop running his hands through the silky strands.

The pair delighted in the ravenous kisses and roaming hands, but their desire was rapidly increasing to an incendiary level and soon Thranduil had Aurvellas' shirt off and his own tunic and boots removed. Never breaking their kiss, Aurvellas walked backwards as Thranduil gently pushed him toward the large bed, its four large posters and ornate headboard of pale, carved wood highlighted by the coverlet and pillows in pale, autumnal shades.

When Aurvellas' legs touched the edge of the bed, he reluctantly pulled away from Thranduil's insistent lips and sat, quickly divesting himself of his leggings. His blood was boiling and his head reeling; he had never felt so strongly before and he was unwilling to restrain himself any longer. Sinuously he wriggled up the bed until he was leaning against the headboard and lightly running his hands over his chest. His eyes never left Thranduil's aquamarine blue ones, now many shades darker. The king was breathing heavily as he gazed at his lover. "You are overdressed, my liege…" Aurvellas voice was low and breathy with desire. He opened his arms and licked his lips. "Join me?"

Thranduil swayed from the powerful surge of desire and quickly stripped off his leggings and practically leapt into Aurvellas' arms. His mouth latched eagerly onto his lover's and refused to let go as his hands explored the strong physique beneath him. Aurvellas' fair skin was flushed and heated where Thranduil's hands touched him. Their hips thrust together and both were moaning incoherently, as hands, lips, and legs tangled into one writhing mass. The overwhelming need both were feeling continued to grow until Thranduil pulled back, gasping. "Oil?"

Aurvellas could not speak; he was insensate with desire. Trying to gain a semblance of control so that he could answer, he took a deep breath and pointed to the small table beside the bed. Understanding, Thranduil kissed him again and then moved to straddle Aurvellas as he leaned to the table. He pulled the drawer open and found a small, stoppered bottle, which he hastily picked up and laid down on the bed beside Aurvellas' thigh. Leaning down, he kissed the brunette again, and relished the strong arms wrapping about him, pulling them tightly together, forcing his groin to press down into Aurvellas' hardness. The friction pulled a moan from his lips and Aurvellas whimpered.

Quickly the king licked and nipped his way down the firm muscles, only stopping to nip at the sensitive crease between thigh and groin. When Aurvellas pulled back slightly, opening his legs, Thranduil slid between the strong legs and began to lick and nip at Aurvellas' inner thigh, finally sucking firmly and marking the brunette. That pressure, the very **idea** , that the king was marking him caused Aurvellas to arch upwards and moan. "Take me. Please," he begged.

Thranduil was almost overcome by the needy request, but he gained enough control to slow his attentions slightly. Aurvellas would feel only joy at his hands and would be writhing in ecstasy before the king would take him. To that end Thranduil leaned over and swallowed Aurvellas' sizable member completely. The warm wetness was almost too much for the brunette to take and he bucked up, until the king pressed him down against the bed. Reaching for the oil, Thranduil flipped open the stopper and poured oil into his palm. He moved to press into Aurvellas' tight flesh while continuing to suck firmly on his arousal. As his sweet spot was rapidly stroked, Aurvellas' body tightened and he came, shouting his lover's name. His orgasm was so intense he was left quivering and boneless. Thranduil moved up to gather the brunette in his arms and hold him. For once, he cared not for his own desires; he only wanted to see Aurvellas' in the throes of ecstasy once again. Gently kissing the dark hair, Thranduil whispered soft, meaningless phrases hoping to calm and soothe his trembling lover.

Aurvellas was sated and floating, adrift on a warm sea, a steady heartbeat thrumming in his ear. As he was gently held and calmed, he gradually became aware of his surroundings again, especially the strong arms enclosing him. Opening his eyes, he looked up into his lover's face. The emotion shining back at him took his breath away. "Kiss me?" he asked in a barely audible whisper.

Thranduil leaned down and gently pressed their lips together before lightly licking and nibbling Aurvellas' full lower lip. Though the king had not obtained his release, his mood had changed, gentling from an all consuming, engulfing passion, into something sweet, and infinitely precious. "Aí, Aur nín, I could spend the rest of my days here, just kissing you. Mere kisses have never felt thusly before."

Hoping the king felt a measure of what he himself was feeling, Aurvellas pushed Thranduil onto his back and then moved atop him. Taking the bottle, he dumped some oil into his palm, and stared down at the king as he pressed a finger into his own tight passage. Thranduil moaned at the sight of Aurvellas preparing himself. The king lifted his hands and began rubbing the slightly sweaty skin, caressing and massaging any flesh he could touch.

When Aurvellas was thoroughly stretched and quite hard again, he lifted up and impaled himself in one firm downward stroke. The speed that he was engulfed left Thranduil gasping and breathless as his arousal was tightly gripped. The sight above him was almost too magnificent for words. Aurvellas' skin was flushed and glowing, a thin sheen of sweat covering it. His back arched and his mouth opened in silent ecstasy as he began to rock on the firm rod impaling him.

Thranduil knew he could not last long and he reached and gripped Aurvellas' hips firmly to help him slide up and down in time with Thranduil's own thrusts. As he felt himself close to the edge, he reached forward and stroked Aurvellas firmly. "Please… come with me!" Aurvellas screamed his release and his clenching passage tore Thranduil's from him as well. Unable to stay upright, Aurvellas collapsed heavily on the king, who was a boneless mass, but managed to wrap his arms about the brunette before they both fell instantly asleep.

~~~*~~~

  
Lammaen's eyes swept the Hall of Fire, for once wishing he was one of the guards instead of an advisor, as he jealously watched the easy camaraderie among the warriors from the three realms. Gulping down yet another glass of wine, he waved the empty glass in his prince's direction, where Elladan and Legolas were sitting near to each other holding an animated discussion with Elrond and Glorfindel. "Even Legolas is enjoying the best hospitality this realm offers, why must I sit here, alone?"

Tegilbor glanced at his friend, before returning his eyes back to the stage where Master Gellon was performing a beautiful love song. "Why, indeed? If you would quit mooning over Master Erestor I am certain there would be an entire bevy of ellyn desirous of your company."

As a serving maid walked by, Lammaen quickly divested her of two glasses of wine from her tray, without even glancing at the young elleth. "I simply appreciate true beauty, for there is no other that compares to him. That is not 'mooning'; it is merely desiring to worship that comeliness with more than glances."

"Have a care with your tongue, meldir. I hear Glorfindel is quite possessive of the darkling advisor and I am certain you would end up with far worse than a bent nose from the legendary balrog slayer."

The first glass of wine was quickly finished, and the arrogant advisor started on yet another, as he replied in a conspiratory whisper, "Well, I have heard rumors that Erestor is no longer interested in Glorfindel, so I shall be looking him up as soon as he is strong enough for visitors. Since he is now available, we shall get along famously."

Although Tegilbor did consider Lammaen a friend, he often found him too cocksure, and wondered if his friend might be about to get taken down a peg or two. Rolling his eyes at Lammaen's words, the younger advisor began to stand, "You are drunk. I suggest you turn in before you allow your tongue to lead you into trouble." Finally catching the eye of a dark haired elleth, Tegilbor smiled sweetly, and nodded. "Now, I am going to go dance. Enjoy the rest of your evening."

Lammaen's glassy eyes narrowed dangerously and he frowned. Downing the rest of his wine, he stood, swaying slightly, and straightened his robes. He was determined to enjoy his evening and that meant going to the House of Healing. Head held high, he walked unsteadily out of the hall and straight for the healing wing.

After a couple of missteps and wrong turns, Lammaen arrived at the simple door and easily strode in. His steel blue eyes took in the comfortable seating area, the many doors radiating from the entry, and the long corridor stretching from the archway at the back of the foyer. Straightening his braids, he strode down the corridor, hoping to easily find Erestor's room.

When he opened a random door on his right, he noticed a young ellon surrounded by books, vials, and herbs. Deciding that it would be quicker to interrogate the healer than to continue to open doors, Lammaen walked into the room and spoke. "Excuse me. I would like to visit with one of your patients. Erestor is his name. Could you direct me to his room?"

Sadron was puzzled when the Mirkwood advisor walked into the room, but he was nearly overwhelmed by the strong smell of wine when the advisor began speaking. "Híren, it is too late for visitors tonight. Please come back tomorrow and I should be able to aid you."

Lammaen was not pleased at the attempted rebuff, so he persisted. "Ah, Erestor would not want me to wait. We are good friends and I have much to tell him." The advisor plied his diplomacy and cool demeanor upon the young ellon, quite confident that he could get the information he sought.

Sadron was instantly suspicious as Erestor had never mentioned a friend from Mirkwood. "I am deeply sorry, Milord, but we have rules for visiting hours in the House of Healing, and it is far past those designated times. I must insist that you leave and return tomorrow." Sadron stood and began to gently push the advisor toward the door.

Frustrated that such a youngster could attempt to keep him from his goal, Lammaen pulled away and walked out the door, shutting it firmly behind him. He would just find Erestor himself! As he strode down the long corridor, a door at the end opened and an auburn haired child walked out. Before she closed the door, he overheard her say something about wishing Glorfindel goodnight when he returns. Lammaen decided that must be Erestor's room. He smiled and nodded at the elfling as they passed in the hall.  
TBC  
 **Translations:**  
Ethuil – late spring  
Híren – my lord  
melethril – my lover (female)  
meleth – love  
hannon le – I thank you  
Aur nín – my sunlight  
meldir – my friend (male)  



	20. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue eyes sad, blue eyes happy…

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
_internal thoughts be in italics_   
**bold is used for emphasis**

Chapter 20:

 _Ethuil, Imladris, 2818 T.A._

As the door opened Erestor glanced up from his book, expecting that Sídhiel had forgotten something. But to his surprise there was a blond he did not recognize staring at him. Finally, Lammaen broke the awkward silence and Erestor instantly recalled the Mirkwood advisor, and groaned audibly. That did nothing to dissuade the drunk and arrogant advisor who could not fathom that the elf he desired did not return those feelings. Unbidden, he moved to sit in the chair beside Erestor's bed and blithely made conversation laced with innuendo. Completely oblivious to Erestor's increasing discomfort, Lammaen moved to sit on the edge of the bed. The darkling elf's mind whirled, gauging how best to incapacitate Lammaen without grievously re-injuring himself.

After rushing the advisor out of the office, Sadron became suspicious that the blond had not left the healing wing as requested. Quietly, he walked down the corridor toward Erestor's room. Before he opened the door, he heard voices; neither one was Sídhiel's. Becoming increasingly concerned, the healer knew he could not resolve the situation unaided, so he raced to the Hall of Fire where Nestoron or Lord Elrond would most likely be at this time of evening.

As Sadron rushed into the Hall of Fire, he paused momentarily, searching for his masters. Once he spotted Lord Elrond, he hurried to him and stopped with a quick bow. Immediately upon seeing Sadron and his state, Elrond assumed someone had been injured. Standing, he asked, "What is wrong, Sadron?"

"My Lord, it is Erestor…" Before he could finish his sentence Glorfindel was towering over him.

"What has happened to Erestor?" The blond had begun to feel uneasy these last few minutes, his skin almost itching as the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end.

The young healer was nervous when faced with Glorfindel's demanding presence, but he had been mentored by Nestoron and had it drilled into him that his word was final for his patient's well being, no matter who he faced. His training asserted itself, and he answered easily. "One of the Mirkwood contingent… I did not catch his name. He was in the healing wing asking me to reveal which room Master Erestor was in."

Upon hearing Mirkwood mentioned, Legolas turned from the buffet table and walked toward the commotion.

Glorfindel's stomach lurched. _What would someone from Mirkwood want with Erestor?_ "You did not reveal it, did you?"

Sadron ignored Glorfindel's question and continued. "Somehow he must have determined it, **without my aid** , for he is in Master Erestor's room at this moment. The worst of it is he is quite drunk and not completely rational, my Lords."

That last was all the Elda needed to hear. Someone unstable was in Erestor's room for an unknown purpose. He set off in a flash, not waiting to hear anything further.

Legolas spoke up as Glorfindel raced away. "I am deeply sorry. It is most likely Lammaen." He dipped his head toward Elrond. "He has long harbored desires for Erestor, but I had hoped that he learned his lesson the last time…"

Elrond's brow creased, but then he recalled Erestor's laughing tale of a smitten advisor in Mirkwood who would not cease his advances until Erestor finally resorted to physically dissuading him. "Ah, yes, I remember now." He smiled at Legolas and then turned to the young healer. "Sadron, hannon le for reacting so quickly. Please return to the healing wing. If I know Glorfindel, Lammaen will have need of you."

Finally noting the quiet in the hall, Elrond turned to the stage and indicated that Gellon should resume playing. He addressed the crowd which had begun to quiet when the healer raced in, but had become completely still as Glorfindel raced out. "Continue on, enjoy the celebration. Everything is just fine." He motioned to Elladan and Legolas to be seated so they could continue their debate.

~~~*~~~

  
The haze of alcohol had descended upon Lammaen, and he was completely incapable of reading the current situation correctly. Erestor was obviously stiff and uncomfortable, but the blond advisor could not believe he was uninterested, so he continued to press forward. "Ah you are still the most beautiful creature…" The blond lifted his hand to stroke Erestor's cheek. "Even ailing and in these drab surroundings, your beauty is radiant."

The blond moved closer and Erestor had to hold his breath to keep from retching at the overwhelming reek of wine issuing from Lammaen. Protesting, the darkling elf tried to move away, but his legs were trapped under the blankets that the blond was sitting on. "Master Lammaen, I do not feel well enough for company. You should leave now…"

Erestor's voice was soft and melodic, hypnotizing the drunk elf, who could not process the words, only the cadence of them. He leaned down and began to press his lips against the ruby ones he had long desired, when he was suddenly lifted up bodily and flung toward the balcony doors.

Somehow even in his advanced state of inebriation, the blond advisor kept to his feet. He swayed and shook his head, not quite realizing the danger he was in, as he advanced on his attacker. The long years of training that all in Mirkwood endured were etched into his muscle and sinew, so his body reacted before his mind could catch up, and he lashed out at Glorfindel's back, aiming for his kidneys.

The sight that greeted the Elda's eyes when he entered Erestor's room made him see red. Erestor was attempting to protest but was trapped beneath the advisor and could not pull away when Lammaen leaned in to kiss him. With a fierce growl, Glorfindel leapt and removed Erestor's attacker from him. Doubting that the drunk advisor would pose a further threat, the Elda turned back to his darkling elf.

Erestor had never been so pleased to see Glorfindel. The angry light flashing in the Elda's eyes thrilled him. For a moment he felt silly. He was no princess from a children's story, needing to be rescued! But then his leg cramped severely, the pain taking his breath away, and he knew he was still weak and would have had trouble fighting off Lammaen. As he was about to thank the golden elf, he saw Lammaen advance. "Glorfindel! Behind you!" he shouted.

With no conscious thought, Glorfindel turned and struck; his first blow to the advisor's jaw sending him reeling. The seething anger that someone dared to touch **his** Erestor flashed through him, and he set upon the advisor. If Sadron had not raced into the room and pulled him off Lammaen, the blond advisor might not have survived.

"Stop! Glorfindel! He is no further threat," Sadron shouted. Finally when Erestor's commanding voice was added, Glorfindel moved away.

His fury ebbing as his breathing slowed, Glorfindel moved to Erestor's side, his concern overriding all thought and propriety for Erestor's desired distance from him. The Elda sat next to Erestor and touched his cheek gently, rubbing his thumb across the strong jaw line. "Did he hurt you?"

Overtaken by the feelings coursing through his body, Erestor reached up and rested his hand on Glorfindel's wrist, reveling in the soft caress. Sighing, he closed his eyes, and answered softly, "Nay, I am unharmed and well. Hannon le for arriving so fortuitously."

Sadron briefly examined the unconscious elf before deciding he needed aid to get Lammaen to a treatment room. As the healer heard Erestor state that he was well, he breathed in relief. At least he would only have one patient to deal with tonight and not two. Never looking from the prone form, he spoke up. "Glorfindel, could you aid me? I need this one taken to a room where I can treat his injuries."

When Sadron spoke, it awoke Erestor from his daze. Realizing what was happening and how easily he fell under Glorfindel's spell, he hastily pulled back from the Elda's touch and spoke coldly. "You should help him. I am quite well and need nothing further from you."

For a brief, shining moment Glorfindel had dared to hope that he had finally broken through Erestor's barriers, but they were quickly erected anew and he was pushed away yet again. He dropped his hand and stood, the deep sadness in his eyes the only indication of the hurt Erestor had once again done him.

~~~*~~~

  
Thranduil gradually awoke, and upon trying to stretch, realized his legs were pinned down. As recognition dawned, he smiled brightly and turned into the warm body draped over his. Running his fingers through the soft brown hair, he sighed happily and began to explore the firm back muscles under his hand. As his hand kneaded lower, moans came from the mouth that had begun to kiss his chest, and Aurvellas arched into his touch. Thranduil moved to turn the brunette onto his back. "I want to see your face, aur nín." When light grey eyes looked up at him sleepily, Thranduil marveled at how completely he was taken by the gentle soul next to him.

"Aí, you are wonderful to wake up next…"

Aurvellas stiffened and quickly sat up. "Orc's balls! I'm late!" He leapt off the bed and grabbed clothes from the armoire before he raced into the bathing chamber. He was back, completely dressed, before Thranduil even had a chance to catch up with him.

Before the brunette walked out, he returned to the bedside, hoping to get one last kiss. Thranduil grabbed the warrior and pulled him down. "Oh, no. You are not leaving me."

"Your Highness… I am already late for my rounds."

Although his formality stung, Thranduil did not release his hold. "Your morning rounds can wait." Wanting last night to be more than a one time occurrence, Thranduil gradually pressed Aurvellas down and back so that he was resting against the headboard. "And, why the formality? Did this mean nothing to you?" He waved his arm expansively indicating the bed and both ellyn.

Aurvellas was surprised at the question, indeed at the whole scene. He had awakened with the king still in his bed, something he never could have imagined. And, now, Thranduil wondered what it had meant to him? Confusion reigned on Aurvellas' face as he stared at the king. "Your… Thranduil. I just… you never…I am late." _Damn! He's reduced me to a gibbering fool again. Why do those blue eyes so easily undo me?_ Taking a deep breath, he released it slowly, hoping the action would calm him and allow him to gather his thoughts.

When Aurvellas had abruptly leapt from the bed and now could not answer his query, Thranduil became concerned. He worried that he had read too much into the warrior's reactions, perhaps only seeing what he wanted and not what really was? Thranduil's mind began racing and he jumped in before Aurvellas could coherently reply. "Come with me to Mirkwood."

Aurvellas' confusion turned to astonishment at the king's statement. "What? But…" When it seemed Thranduil would again jump in, Aurvellas gently hushed him by placing his finger over the king's lips. "Stop. I cannot think that fast with you near." Thranduil playfully licked the finger pressed against his lips, and Aurvellas groaned. "Nay. We must talk and that means that you will have to behave." The king's naked chest pressed against Aurvellas' side until he placed a hand over Thranduil's heart and gently pushed him back. "That is not behaving." Aurvellas had to chuckle at the king's playfulness. But then he sobered. "Why would you ask me to come to Mirkwood?"

Thranduil watched Aurvellas carefully, wanting to understand the warrior. "Why? I want you near. You said you would not be a mere toy. Do you think I would just dismiss your desires and do what I wanted?"

"But… I have duties and responsibilities. I cannot just up and leave Imladris." Secretly, the warrior was excited that the king had asked, if only… He sighed.

Tilting his head, Thranduil was puzzled by the warrior's reaction. "I am simply suggesting we start your warrior exchange program now, instead of waiting. You and your chosen warriors return with us to Mirkwood. Himmion will stay to take your place. Once home, Legolas and our archers can come back here to join Himmion. Does that not please you?"

"You… you want me to go with you? To your home?" Aurvellas was stunned.

Smiling softly, Thranduil leaned up and tenderly kissed the warrior. "If you will have me, I would like nothing more."

Suddenly Thranduil was flat on his back being thoroughly kissed by the strong warrior. "Aye! When do we leave?"

Thranduil grinned wickedly as he flipped them over, straddling Aurvellas. "Oh, there are things that must be done first… like remove all these clothes you have on, Aur nín."

~~~*~~~

  
Chaos reigned in the courtyard. There were far too many elves and horses for the area as the Mirkwood party readied for their departure. Saelbeth did his best, but none of the warriors who had joined the first exchange group were without families, and it seemed every last family member was there to see them off. Silamothien had excused the school for the morning, so her students were gleefully adding to the confusion.

Elrond stood at the top of the steps and surveyed the maelstrom of activity when Glorfindel joined him. He did not need to look at his friend to feel the tension radiating from him. "Are you certain you wish to do this?"

Glorfindel ran his fingers through his hair and nodded. "Aye. I need some distance from him. Besides, I need to assure myself that Aurvellas is not making a grave mistake. I need to know that he will be well. What better way than to escort them to the High Pass?"

"Aurvellas is a grown elf, Glorfindel. Are you sure he will welcome this?"

"Elrond, Aurvellas is more than my second, more than a friend. He is very dear to me and I would not see him hurt." Glorfindel was adamant that he see for himself that this sudden relationship was real.

"Do you wish for me to tell him where you have gone?" Elrond was curious how much communication had occurred between the two.

"No need. Sídhiel and I have talked and she wanted to be the one that told him."

"Very well. I suggest you hurry. It may be hard to tell in the chaos, but I do believe it is time to depart."

~~~*~~~

  
Elladan had come to like the Mirkwood prince greatly. His brother had good taste, for the prince was more than a pretty face; he had a wicked sense of humor and was a keen tactician. He and Elladan had been evenly matched in their discourse. Of course in the arena, no one could best Legolas at the bow, nor could Legolas match Elladan's skill with the sword, though they both tried valiantly.

Quietly standing amidst the chaos, their foreheads touching so they could hear each other, Legolas and Elladan were conversing intently. "Will you tell Elrohir that I regret not being able to spend more time with him?"

Clasping the blond's arm firmly, Elladan nodded. "I will, but we will both expect you back soon. This visit was filled with meetings and you did not have a chance to get to know our valley home. Next time both I and my brother will remedy that, if you will let us?"

"Aye, I look forward to it." Thranduil had mounted, so Legolas knew it was time to go. "Good bye, mellon nín." Legolas mounted and rode away.  
TBC  
 **Translations:**  
hannon le – I thank you  
Aur nín – my sunlight  
ellyn – male elves  
mellon nín – friend  



	21. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confessions and hope?

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
_internal thoughts be in italics_

  
Chapter 21:

  
 _Ethuil, Imladris, 2818 T.A._

"Ada?" Sídhiel was puzzled. She had just explained Glorfindel's departure as they had decided, but Erestor did not seem pleased. "I thought you would be happy."

Erestor grimaced. He had a riot of emotions where Glorfindel was concerned and there was no easy way to answer. Dark brown eyes gazed into deep blue ones, as he tried to formulate a response.

Sídhiel's impatience got the best of her and she huffed at him. "I was so angry with you for making him leave…" her eyes softened, "but you really didn't want him to go, did you? What would make **_you_** happy, Ada?"

Shrugging his shoulders, Erestor replied with a soft smile. "You do, pen dithen nín."

Sídhiel's eyes crinkled with joy, a bright smile on her face. She clambered into bed next to Erestor and snuggled up to his side, her head on his chest. "I love you, too, Ada."

Erestor wrapped his arm around Sídhiel, her presence soothing and restoring him.

~~~*~~~

  
Time passed swiftly for Sídhiel. She was adapting to an entirely new life and it was exhilarating and exciting; so many new experiences that she was always seen rushing from place to place, a blinding smile on her face. Ever resilient, the tension amongst the adults did not seem to mar her good mood. Sídhiel's exuberance was necessary to counter the undercurrent of melancholy ever present in Erestor's healing room.

As time moved by in a blur for Sídhiel, it crawled torturously slowly for Erestor. He was alone with his thoughts far too long and, though he was clever beyond most, he was as yet naïve with his own emotions. He often ended up in a spiral, circling ever downward, his heart and mind at great odds, locked in a swirling morass created by his own fears. And then the late afternoon would come, and with it, Sídhiel's cheering presence. She chatted, she needed help with her school work, she told silly jokes. In short, she pulled him from his musing and made him focus on life and not on dark thoughts.

After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, Elrond released Erestor to his own rooms for the rest of his convalescence. On the morrow, he would very slowly and carefully walk with much aid from the Halls of Healing – if he could only survive the anticipation of finally being away from these same four walls in which he had slowly been going mad over the last three weeks.

~~~*~~~

  
Glorfindel sat by the stream, Asfaloth grazing nearby, as he stared into the sunset. He could have pushed himself and his mount and been home this very night. But there was no reason to do so, as there was nothing there for him, at least not yet. His thoughts drifted to Erestor and he was reminded how vastly different his situation was to Aurvellas'. His friend had taken the chance and trusted Thranduil. Now they both seemed truly happy.

Glorfindel sighed and closed his eyes, leaning back against the willow. Ecthelion's dark hair, green eyes, and wickedly teasing smile swam before his closed eyes. He had truly believed Ecthelion was the only one for him and watching his love die had torn him apart. But now, realizing that there was another whose soul completed him, being unable to be with that one due to his own error was far worse. He was close, could even smell Erestor's unique scent, but he'd never been further from the counselor. Would he ever gain Erestor's trust again? Shoving down his turbulent emotions, he closed his eyes and leaned back against the tree.

Gildor was tired. He had not slept more than one night in a real bed since he had been in Idhreneth's cottage recovering from his injuries. He was fed up with traveling and wanted to be home. That Elrond had personally requested him to be here, insuring that Elrohir returned, meant that he could not refuse. Judging by the younger twin's reckless behavior while in battle, it was a good thing Gildor had come. But he was tired, sore, and heart sick. Erestor must recover, but the wanderer did not know how he fared. He needed to return to the Last Homely House, so he and Elrohir had ridden ahead of the returning patrol. But his fatigue had become so intense that they had to stop and rest. There was a nearby stream that provided a good campsite. He frowned when he saw the white horse and golden hair. Glorfindel was waiting for them.

Hurriedly he dropped down and strode up to the Elda. "Glorfindel? Is there anything wrong? Why did you come?"

Glorfindel slowly opened his eyes and gazed up at Gildor. "Sit, meldir. Do not be concerned, I am merely returning from escort duty." At the wanderer's confused expression, he patted the ground, and turned his head slightly. "You too, Elrohir. Turn the horses to graze with Asfaloth and I will tell you the news."

~~~*~~~

 _Laer, Imladris, 2818 T.A._

Sídhiel watched with sad eyes as Erestor prepared for bed. He was quiet and lonely and she wanted to make him feel better. As he sat and began to take out his braids, she went to him and touched him lightly on the shoulder. "May I do that for you?" Erestor somberly stared into the mirror and met Sídhiel's hopeful gaze. He nodded ever so slightly and she began to gently unwind the tight braids as she ran her hands through the wavy tresses. Once released from their restraints, the ebony locks curled loosely around his face. "Ada, you have such beautiful hair. Why do you keep it so tied down?"

Erestor sighed at the gentle massaging of his scalp which was easing his ever present tension. "Pen vuin, I wore my hair less restrained at one time, but now this style complements my role here in Imladris."

She picked up the hairbrush and began to stroke the silky locks. His answer only confused her, so she asked again, "Ada, I don't understand. Why does your job need you to look so cold? Lord Elrond doesn't wear his hair this way, neither do Elladan and Elrohir." She pursed her lips in concentration, "In fact, I can't think of anyone who does beside you."

Erestor frowned, wanting to stop this conversation. He did not want to squash the child's open and curious nature but some things were just not up for discussion. "Sídhiel," he began, "How and why I choose to do things is not for you to question. Do you understand?"

She flinched at his tone. "I'm sorry, Ada. I didn't mean to pry. Please don't be mad at me." She pleaded and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Erestor closed his eyes and leaned back into the small body standing behind him. "I am not angry, my sweet, you must understand that I have lived alone for so long that I am unused to being questioned about my actions." He turned and took the hairbrush from her. "Hannon le for caring for my hair. It has not received such devotion in far too long." Grabbing his cane, he stood. His reflection caught his eye and he admired how the waves shown softly in the flickering light, having to admit that he had enjoyed the attention. It was soothing and had relaxed him such that sleep should not be as long in claiming him as usual.

A small hand reached for his, so they walked slowly hand-in-hand to Sídhiel's bedroom. As he leaned down to tuck Sídhiel into her bed, there was a soft knock on the door. He straightened and walked to the outer chamber. When he opened the door, he failed to restrain a gasp at the vision before him. Glorfindel was standing in the hallway, wearing deep blue silk sleep pants, slung low on trim hips, his feet bare and his torso only marginally covered by a loosely tied pewter grey robe. His hair was unbound and his tousled golden locks haloed his strong patrician features.

Glorfindel stood in the hallway, a slightly lost smile on his face as he drank in the glorious sight before him. Erestor's ebony locks were unbound with soft waves caressing his back as tendrils teased his high cheekbones. The ruby lips pursed in puzzlement while his ebony brows knitted in consternation.

Before Erestor could speak or shut the door, Sídhiel suddenly pushed past him and grabbed Glorfindel's hand, pulling him into the antechamber. "Glorfindel! You came! Just like you promised!"

"Of course, pen dithen, I keep my promises. Now where am I telling you the tale?"

Erestor was stunned and unable to speak as Sídhiel practically dragged a bemused Elda into her bedroom. "Come on, Ada. I'm going to hear about Gondolin from someone who was there. Way better than the stuffy old books that Mistress Silamothien wants me to read."

Erestor slowly followed the pair to Sídhiel's bedroom and stood in the doorway, resting heavily on his cane. He watched warily as she jumped on the bed and motioned for the Elda to sit next to her. She patted the bed on the other side of her and looked to Erestor, "Please sit next to me."

Erestor shook his head while trying to come up with a plausible sounding excuse. He finally said, "Nay, Sídi, I have heard these stories before. I will be in my room if you need me."

Before he could turn away, she leapt after him. "Please? At least sit in the chair and listen. I like you close. Please?" She had grabbed his free arm and was tugging him toward the overstuffed leather chair and ottoman near the bookcases.

He looked down into pleading blue eyes and could not refuse. "Aye, I will stay, but do not be upset if I fall asleep. As I said, I have heard all these stories numerous times." He tried to keep a light tone.

After clambering back into bed and snuggling next to Glorfindel, who put his arm around her shoulder, she suddenly jumped up and said, "Oops! Wait a moment... I forgot Nimmy. I'll be right back." With that, she raced out of the room, shutting the door and sliding the outer bolt into place.

~~~*~~~

  
As Sídhiel slammed the door and ran into the hallway, she looked around trying to decide where she could retreat to. She knew she would be in for it when her ada finally got out of her bedroom, so she hoped to delay being found until after he had cooled off a bit. After discarding any of her normal hiding places as too obvious, she realized that she was out of options. It was late though, and she was tired. The child had to find a place to stay. As she was musing, she found her feet had led her to Elladan's door. Knocking, she hoped that her friend was in.

The door opened and Elladan stood there, looking down at his young friend. "Sídi, what are you doing here? Should you not already be asleep?"

"Can I come in?" She glanced nervously back toward her rooms.

"Yes, of course, pen dithen." Elladan opened the door wider and motioned for her to come in. "But you must explain yourself."

As the door closed behind her, she visibly relaxed. "Can I please stay here tonight?" Walking to the sofa, she curled up on one end.

"You want to stay here tonight? Why? What has happened?" His curiosity piqued, he settled onto the opposite end of the sofa, refilling his glass as he passed the wine bottle.

Shrugging, she tried to act casual as she began her tale. "Oh, I just think I will need a place to stay once Ada frees himself."

"Frees himself? Quit speaking in riddles, pen dithen. What have you done?"

"I locked Ada and Glorfindel in my bedroom. Glorfindel had said that things would be better if only Ada would stay still long enough to listen to him. I know how Ada can be, so I got them both into my bedroom tonight. Once I got them there I locked the door. They're stuck in there and I need someplace to stay for awhile." She looked up at Elladan hopefully.

But instead, it was Elrohir that answered. "You never do things in half measures do you, pen dithen?" He laughed. "I cannot believe that you had the nerve to lock those two together. I should like to be eavesdropping right now. I am certain a lively discussion must be occurring in your bedroom at this very moment."

Elladan was surprised by what the child had done, but he, too, found it mildly humorous, although he was concerned that forcing them together would make things worse. "Oh, Sídhiel, I do not think that was a good idea. We should go release them this instant."

Elrohir voiced his disagreement. "I think not. They really **_do_** need to talk, 'Dan. And, there will be nothing else for them to do if they are locked in a room overnight. We can rescue them first thing in the morning."

As Elrohir was speaking, Sídhiel was nodding her head. "That's right. Aye. Please, Elladan? Just for one night?" She turned her best pleading eyes up to the elf warrior.

Shaking his head, and thinking he would regret this decision, nonetheless he said, "Come along then. You can sleep here." He tucked the child into his large bed and kissed her lightly. "Sweet dreams, Sídi."

"Wait," she tugged at his arm. "Will you stay with me until I'm asleep? Ada always does." She asked around a large yawn.

"Of course I will." He reclined next to the small figure and wrapped his arms around her. Her eyes were already closed as small arms tightly hugged her stuffed kitten and she snuggled into his warm embrace.

Elrohir smiled at the sweet scene and said, "I had no idea you were so good with little ones, Tôr. You will make a good ada one day." He snorted. "I will await you in my bedchamber then."

~~~*~~~

  
Erestor quickly leapt up, and groaned at the sudden weight on his still weak leg. Glorfindel flinched at Erestor's pain. Picking up his cane, the dark elf hobbled to the door and grabbed the handle, trying to open it. The door would not budge. Letting out a long sigh, he rested his forehead against the wood, saying, "She locked us in."

At hearing Glorfindel's laughter, he turned on the Elda and spat, "You planned this! You… you put her up to this. Get us out of here. Now!"

"Oh no, meleth nín, I had nothing to do with this. It seems this little spider of **_yours_** has caught two unwitting flies in her web," Glorfindel joked. "I can see that she definitely inherited your cunning mind."

"Do not call me that," Erestor hissed. "I am no longer your meleth, nor do I believe I ever was. And my cunning mind is not fool enough to believe that you had nothing to do with this plot. Sídhiel is but a child. What ever would make her decide to lock us in a room together without someone suggesting it to her?" Erestor was furious, and began to pace the small space, even though his leg and the cane made that difficult and painful.

Glorfindel could no longer resist the tempting vision before him. Erestor was always riveting to watch, but right now, in his fury, he was nigh irresistible. The Elda slipped from the bed and rose to intercept him just as he was turning in his circuit. As the two bodies collided, Fin reached out and steadied Erestor.

As he was grabbed, Erestor tried to pull away, but two strong arms encircled him and held fast. "Release me, Fin," he said through clenched teeth.

"Nay, I will not let go until you agree to sit and listen to me. Your iell obviously desired for us to be stuck in here, and I would like to take advantage of the opportunity her scheme has provided. Now will you at least sit and listen?"

Glorfindel's arms about Erestor confused him, and caused his body to respond to the blond. He could not allow that so he had to get the blond to keep his distance. Somberly, Erestor nodded his acquiescence. "And you will not try to escape?" Erestor shook his head, but would not meet Fin's eyes.

As Glorfindel said, "Please, I need to hear the words," he removed one arm from gripping the lithe figure and tilted Erestor's chin upwards forcing their eyes to meet.

Erestor closed his eyes and barely caught himself before leaning into the warm body. As he realized his almost dangerous slip, he whirled and bent, leaning on his good leg, which forced Glorfindel to release his hold. "I agreed to listen, but did not agree to be groped. You stay on your side of the room," he said, shakily, as he retreated to the chair, stretching his bad leg out on the ottoman with the other leg tucked under him.

Glorfindel retreated to the bed where he settled back against the headboard. "Erestor, you have been avoiding me since you left the House of Healing. We need to talk." Sighing, he took a deep breath, "You request me not to call you meleth nín and you doubt if I ever meant those words. But I did, and I still do."

Erestor sat silently, his eyes narrowed in disbelief. He had his arms wrapped tightly around both legs, which he had brought up to his chin, almost as a shield to separate him from Glorfindel. Even though his leg ached in this position, he needed the security and ignored the pain. "Continue. You give me no reason to believe you and even less reason to trust in you."

"Aíya, Erestor. I love you. I believe I have from the moment I first laid eyes upon you."

At this proclamation, Erestor rolled his eyes in disbelief. "I confess that my actions did not originally speak of love to you. I avoided you. You inspired in me feelings so strong that I was reminded of Ecthelion. I was determined not to let him go so I could not approach you, but have no doubt. I did desire you. I yet do. You are the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on. But I could not, nay, would not, act on those desires. I drowned those feelings in casual liaisons with anyone that was not you. It was a hollow life, but kept me busy so that I did not have to think… or feel."

Glorfindel paused, calmly regarding Erestor. Once he had begun baring his soul, he could not stop. He had to make his love understand. "Even though I avoided you, you determined to befriend me. You sensed how lonely I was. Then the nightmares began… and you were there for me. You offered me friendship and support. I needed that. I needed you. I always deeply appreciated your caring and came to depend heavily upon your friendship. It was not all I desired from you, but it was enough, for a time."

Erestor began to tremble as he listened. "How I wish that is where we had left things," he whispered.

"Aye, but you needed support after Celebrían sailed. I do not regret loving you. I was happier than I had ever been. Do you understand, gûr nín? My only regret is hurting you. I wish I could say that it was unintended, but that would be untrue. I will not lie to you, never again." As he was speaking, he crossed to kneel in front of the raven-haired elf. "Please forgive me," he said as he bowed his head. "When you told me that you loved me, that I was the **_one_** for you, something snapped inside of me. My fëa screamed for you, but I could not betray Ecthelion. **_He_** was supposed to be the one. We had promised each other so many things… I knew that I could no more resist you than a moth the flame, so I had to insure you stayed away. I cast you aside. I told you that you meant nothing to me. It was all a lie, designed to make you leave and not return."

Glorfindel looked up to see Erestor, eyes closed, face contorted in pain, obviously remembering that conversation. The Elda reached up to wipe at the tears that streaked down an alabaster cheek.

"Aí, do you have any idea what you did to me? You ask if I understand? Do you understand what I went through? What I felt?" Erestor's words were quiet but strained. It was obvious he was barely holding himself in check.

"No, meleth, I do not understand. Make me see. I would do anything to earn your forgiveness and take away the pain I caused you. Please tell me." The Elda rested his head on Erestor's lap grateful that he had not been pushed away.

As his hands found their way into golden locks, Erestor began speaking, softly and slowly, obviously trying to keep from breaking down. "I fell hard for you. I think I must have always loved you, from the moment you rode into the valley on your large, white charger, your golden hair caught in Anor's rays, forming a halo around you. Your demeanor made it clear that you did not desire me near, so I kept my distance, but I watched. Even though you were never alone, I sensed your isolation. Your sorrow called to me and I could no longer stay away. I had to reach out to you and ease your burden. Our burgeoning friendship meant everything to me."

Glorfindel sighed as nervous hands wound in his hair.

"In Mithlond I was unable to resist you. I was so weak from supporting Celebrían, I needed your strength. Our first kiss on the beach was my undoing." Erestor opened his eyes and looked down at the golden head in his lap.

Glorfindel felt eyes upon him; looking up, he met Erestor's eyes which were filled with grief. His arms desperately craved to pull that warm, lithe body down to him and offer comfort. Knowing that he forfeited that right long ago, he held back.

Erestor watched his fingers idly twirl a golden lock. He sighed, closed his eyes, and began again. "I gave you everything. I could hold back nothing of myself from you. You took it all, even that which I had never given to another. I was so happy. Feelings coursed through me that I had never before experienced. That was a wondrous time." Erestor nearly smiled as sweet remembrance wafted over him. "Imagine my pain when you said those words, when you told me that I meant nothing to you. You shattered me. As you had brought me to heights previously unknown, so you threw me into depths that I could never have imagined existed. I am not healed, Glorfindel. I am surviving, but only barely. And just as I have crawled from those depths you cast me into, you come to me and ask for my forgiveness? You dare to speak words of love to me? You think I could trust you again with the broken pieces of my heart when you are the reason it is not whole?"

Glorfindel gasped as the tidal wave of anguish poured over him. He could no longer restrain himself and he pulled the broken elf down into his arms.

Erestor tried to struggle but he was gripped too tightly. Salty tears mingled as Erestor was pulled against the broad chest.

"Erestor… seron vell… please. I know that I have wronged you, but you must believe me. I love you more than life itself. You are the other half of my being, my soul mate. Please stop fighting this." With that, he tilted up Erestor's chin, leaned down and brushed his lips lightly against soft, ruby ones.

The raven-haired elf sighed at the gentle caress and a warm peace settled over him. It did feel so right to be held by Glorfindel. The emotional catharsis, coupled with still healing injuries, conspired to cause him to easily doze off, held safely in Glorfindel's arms. The Elda looked down at the burden in his arms, marveling at how light Erestor felt, even though it had been over two months since he was injured. Moving carefully so that he did not wake his precious cargo, he gently placed Erestor on the bed and cuddled up behind him, hope flaring in his chest that maybe there was a possibility for more than simple forgiveness.  
TBC  
 **Translations:**  
pen vuin – dear one  
hannon le – I thank you  
pen dithen – little one  
'Tôr – brother  
meleth nín – my love  
meleth – love  
iell – daughter  
fëa – soul  
Anor – the sun  
gûr nín – my heart  
seron vell – beloved  



	22. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 'captives' are released and Erestor makes a fateful decision…

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
_internal thoughts be in italics_

Chapter 22:

  
 _Laer, Imladris, 2818 T.A._

Elladan stretched and rolled into the warmth next to him, the first rays of Anor having awakened him. He smiled down at Elrohir and teased his twin's bottom lip with white teeth. "Wake up, 'Roh. We have a rescue mission this morn."

Groaning, Elrohir threw one arm over his eyes and wrapped the other about Elladan's shoulders pulling him closer. "Nay, not this early. Let our stubborn elders stew a bit. It will be good for them." Without opening his eyes, he tugged his twin down for a light kiss. "I can think of far better ways to spend the morning…"

Elladan returned the kiss with enthusiasm before pulling away. "Much as our preferences align on how to spend the morning, I fear we must release Erestor. As it is, he will be more than furious with Sídhiel."

As his brother pulled away, Elrohir sat up, the sheets dropping to his waist. Elladan had to look away. "But, 'Dan, we all agreed that they need to talk, to resolve this."

The elder twin stood and walked into the bathing chamber as he began speaking. He pitched his voice so that he could be heard. "Have you never noticed how few Erestor trusts? Once Glorfindel broke that trust, it may never be regained and mere words over a night will certainly not do so." Elladan finished with his ablutions and tossed his sleep pants in the hamper before walking to the armoire.

Elrohir whistled appreciatively and his twin smiled.

"Get out of bed and get dressed," Elladan said. "Adar will be most upset, so we may as well get this behind us."

Elrohir stretched languidly and nodded as he stood. "Aye, he will have our hides for 'interfering' in others' personal matters, but I do think it will prove to be a good thing, no matter the price we pay for it."

Elladan nodded back, his mood subdued. "I do hope you are right, tôr."

~~~*~~~

  
Erestor's exhaustion and Glorfindel's nearness gave the dark-haired elf a dreamless, restful sleep, so he awoke much refreshed and in a pleasant mood, until he realized he was in Sídhiel's bed next to Glorfindel. Stiffening, he carefully moved off of the bed and retreated to the chair. Erestor stared at the blond waves as they teased Glorfindel's face in his sleep. As understanding dawned, he began to make plans.

Glorfindel felt eyes upon him and jerked awake. His foreign surroundings confused him for a moment, but remembrance came quickly. He felt for a warm body next to him, but the bed was cold. Sitting up, he met Erestor's unfathomable gaze. "Erestor." Licking dry lips, he was unsure what to say for moment. The raven-haired elf just sat there, gazing at him with an unreadable expression. He sighed and began to get up.

Erestor tensed and immediately spoke up, "Nay, stay where you are. It will not be long before we are freed from here and I would have no one think something impossible occurred here."

"Impossible? What do you mean something impossible?"

"That a simple conversation will change everything." Erestor's tone was clipped and his manner was the same as he used in council.

"Perhaps not everything, but surely it is a start? We can begin again…" Glorfindel's words trailed off as he recognized the resolute expression the advisor wore. It seemed that his confessions and the entire ordeal had not broken down one wall around Erestor's heart.

Erestor kept himself tightly controlled and sat impassively before he next spoke. "You would expect me to so easily trust you again? And what assurance could you possibly provide that I would believe? If Ecthelion himself was the one to walk through that door, what would you do?"

Glorfindel quailed. Reassuring words never came as the door burst open and Elrond stood there with flashing eyes.

Erestor stood easily and hobbled past the half-elf and his sons, only stopping once he saw Sídhiel. Harsh words died on his lips as he looked at the pale, trembling face with tears welling in her blue eyes. He could not kneel, but he opened his arms and was rewarded with them being filled by a sobbing elfling. "I'm so very sorry, Ada. I just wanted you to be happy. Please say you forgive me."

Glorfindel walked with Elrond and the twins by the scene. Elrond turned on his heel and pressed his sons from the room, Glorfindel following silently in their wake, passing Erestor and Sídhiel. His heart was heavy and his thoughts swirled as he walked to his rooms.

Elrond entered the hall and closed the door behind him, saying nothing to his sons. There would be time to deal with the fallout from this.

~~~*~~~

  
Gildor and Erestor were standing on the balcony outside the gallery, gazing at the setting sun. "You are truly leaving?"

Erestor nodded. "I told Sídhiel this morning, after I spoke with Elrond."

"And… Elrond has actually agreed to this folly?"

"Neither was pleased with my decision, but it is already made and I will not change my mind. We leave tomorrow, so I allowed Sídhiel to spend the night with Melpomaen. They have quickly become fast friends." Erestor attempted to sound as though he was pleased with this path, but his voice wavered, betraying his misgivings.

Knowing that Erestor needed comfort and not chiding, Gildor wrapped his arms about his friend and hugged him tightly. Erestor leaned into the embrace and sighed. He had denied how much he missed being held, but knowing that he was leaving, probably never to return, his body cried out for warmth and companionship. Things Gildor had always freely offered. He would be a fool to refuse now. Erestor turned in Gildor's arms and snuggled against his neck.

Tightening his arms, Gildor stroked the ebon hair, and murmured to the dark elf. A thrill ran through Gildor as soft lips nuzzled his neck. As he looked down, their eyes met, and ruby lips were pressed against his in a tentative kiss. Erestor nipped his lips, asking for entry. Gildor opened slightly and his mouth was plundered. He gasped and pulled back, eyes questioning. Erestor whispered, huskily, "I need you, mellon nín. Please? It has been too long."

The dark-haired elf knew every spot that set Gildor aflame and took advantage of that knowledge to set the blond's head reeling. As his tunic was unlaced, and calloused fingers teased his nipples, Gildor threw his head back and looked up. At that moment he glimpsed a golden head, and as it tilted down, his eyes locked with Glorfindel's. The thought that Erestor had most likely planned this scene threw cold water on Gildor's desire. He pulled away, and harshly hissed, "What are you playing at? I will not be used like this!"

Erestor was panting lightly, having been quite caught up in long denied sensations, and he was confused and bewildered, not understanding what Gildor was talking about. When he turned to follow Gildor's eyes, he saw Glorfindel on his balcony and his eyes widened as he realized what his friend thought. "Gildor, please. It is not what you think…"

Hurt and anger coursed through Gildor. He loved Erestor, but could not tolerate being treated in this manner. "Why? When did you become so spiteful? Is it not enough that you deny him? But to do this? To flaunt this?" Turning away and straightening his clothes and hair, Gildor exclaimed, "By the Valar, Erestor, I do not know you any longer."

"Please, it is not what it seems. Please, mellon nín." Erestor was pleading, everything he did in this place went wrong, turned to ash in his hands. "Gildor…"

"Erestor… I will not be party to this. I do not know when you became a viper, but I will not aid your game. And, if you do not wish to permanently lose my friendship, you had best think on what you intended this night and make it right." With that, Gildor stormed away, leaving a distraught and stunned elf in his wake.

~~~*~~~

  
Glorfindel was sitting on his balcony, staring into the fathomless depths of sky over Imladris as the first stars began to appear. He was tired, but restless, and could find no respite from the ache in his heart, not even sleep would overtake him this night. Upon hearing a firm rap, he sighed and went to the door. When he opened it, he was surprised to see Gildor standing in the hallway, looking ill at ease.

"May I come in, Glorfindel?" Gildor was uncomfortable, but knew that he must talk to the Elda about what had occurred earlier.

"But of course. Do come in." Glorfindel stepped away from the door and motioned Gildor over to the sitting area next to the unlit hearth. "Would you care for a glass of Miruvor?"

"Hannon le, Fin. I could definitely use a drink." Gildor sat in the large overstuffed chair, and nervously stroked the wide wale of the dark blue fabric.

After handing Gildor a glass of Miruvor, Glorfindel took his own glass and sank into the sofa by the chair. Smiling slightly at the other elf's discomfort, Glorfindel pushed, since no words seemed to be forthcoming. "Out with it, Gildor. Not that I mind your company, but you are not in the habit of coming to my rooms for idle conversation. Why are you here?"

Lifting his eyes to the other blond, Gildor realized that he felt no anger or hurt from him. "Aí, Fin, I came to apologize. I know you saw… as Erestor…" Gildor paused, hating to continue. "I had no idea what he had planned. Please forgive me." The blond looked up, hopeful that his words were well received.

"Mellon nín, you have nothing to apologize for." He paused for a moment, confused at Gildor's words. "Do you truly believe he planned that? That he used you to try to make me jealous?" Gildor only nodded. Glorfindel was dumbstruck. "I cannot believe that of him. In all the years since I… we have not been together, he has never behaved in a spiteful or vengeful manner. I refuse to believe that he would start now."

Gildor was relieved and felt guilt that he could have ever thought that his dear friend was capable of such behavior. He ducked his head and sighed. "You are right. I… the last few weeks have been so tense. I am not thinking clearly…" as he realized what he had said to Erestor, his eyes shot open. "Gods! What I said to him! I need to apologize… beg his forgiveness."

The wanderer was about to stand when Glorfindel placed a hand upon his arm. "I doubt he would appreciate being disturbed now for you to assuage your guilt. The morning will be soon enough."

Gildor relented and relaxed back into the chair. "He did not deserve such suspicion from me. He only needed my support." Guilt overwhelmed him and he drank down his entire glass.

Glorfindel nodded. Erestor had not deserved much that had happened around him, but hopefully soon they would begin to move past all that. He stood and retrieved the bottle. Holding it up, he queried, "More Miruvor? If nothing else, we shall both sleep better when well lubricated."

Gildor grinned and held up his glass for more. "Aye, well lubricated sounds just like what the healer ordered." Both elves sat back, relaxed, and easily conversed until there was a loud knock on the door, startling them.

It was Elladan at the door. "Glorfindel! Gildor! Where is Erestor?"

Gildor immediately stood. "Sídhiel. What has happened, 'Dan?"

Elladan was confused for a moment by Gildor's question, but he had no time to dwell on it. "She has run away."

"What?!" Both elves spoke in stunned unison.

"Please come with me to Adar's chambers. I need to find Erestor, but you both should know all that we know."

Gildor and Glorfindel's eyes met, and an understanding passed between them. Gildor spoke first. "I will find Erestor and meet you in Elrond's rooms." With that, he was gone.

Glorfindel hastily donned his boots and outer clothes, strapped on his sword and knives, and followed Elladan from the room.

~~~*~~~

  
The scene was pure chaos in Elrond's chambers. Silamothien had her arms around an obviously upset Melpomaen, while a glowering Saelbeth paced the floor. Elrond was involved in an animated conversation with Elrohir, which he quickly concluded when Elladan and Glorfindel arrived, and Elrohir hurried out, nodding to his twin as he passed. Before Glorfindel could speak, Saelbeth erupted. "I beg your forgiveness, my lords. My iôn has never behaved like this before. I do not understand what has gotten into him!" At his words, Mel began trembling. Glorfindel realized that a terrified Mel would not help in the least, so he took charge. "Master Saelbeth, could you take your lovely wife and leave us?" It was not a request.

Mel was afraid of being alone with all the adult elves, but right now, he was much more afraid of his father's temper. After much protesting, his parents left. Glorfindel walked to the elfling and knelt in front of him. "Do not be afraid, pen dithen. You have done nothing wrong and are not in trouble."

"But, Ada is so angry…."

"Shhh. Fear not. He will calm down. All we need from you is what you know and, most importantly, what time Sídhiel left. Can you do that?"

Mel nodded.

"Do you know where she is?"

Mel shook his head. "She just said that she would find somewhere safe and stay hidden until the party leaving for Lothlórien had already gone. That way she wouldn't have to leave Imladris."

Turning away from the child and toward Elrond, Glorfindel glared icily at the elf-lord who flinched away from the angry blue eyes. He voiced his displeasure as well. "And just when was I going to be told that they were leaving? After they had cleared the borders?" Turning back to the child, the Elda regained his composure and asked in a soothing tone. "When did she leave?"

"She left as soon as the midday meal was over. We got a pack together and she left by the downspout beside our balcony."

Erestor and Gildor walked in just in time to hear this news, followed shortly by Elrohir and a young stable hand.

Before Erestor could interject or ask a question, Elrohir made an announcement. "She is not on foot, so we can call off the search of the immediate environs. It seems she has taken your horse, Master Erestor." Elrohir's voice was cold with his displeasure, for he had learned that Erestor had intended to leave Imladris and take Sídhiel away. The elf-knight was not as taken with the child as Elladan, but anything that pained his twin tore at him.

Erestor paled. Sídhiel had about an eight hour head start, and she was riding his very swift and strong mount. The only horse faster was Glorfindel's Asfaloth. "She could be anywhere!" he gasped out, fear twisting his insides.

Glorfindel saw the dark elf sway, but luckily Gildor was there to support him. "Erestor." The Elda called quietly, trying to bring Erestor's mind back into sharp focus on the current problem. When he finally looked at the blond instead of through him, Glorfindel continued. "Erestor, where would Naurion take the child? Think. Where would he think was a safe place, but distant?"

"Why? How could…"

"Sídhiel can communicate with Asfaloth. I have no doubt she can with Naurion as well. Please."

"Gods, Glorfindel! The caves!"

Glorfindel remembered Erestor discussing a warren that he would retreat to on rare occasions, but he had never personally been there. In as gentle a tone as he could manage, he demanded. "Show me."

Erestor hesitated but a moment before closing his eyes and lowering the barriers surrounding his thoughts. He refused to lower all of his walls, so they had to physically touch to connect. He pressed his forehead to Glorfindel's. Their mind link was quick and effortless, something that should cause both pause if they had time to examine it. Instantly the Elda knew where the child was headed. "I will leave immediately. Elladan, Elrohir, Gildor, each of you take four guards and set out in the same general direction. Erestor will tell you where. I sent Himmion and an extra patrol to that area earlier today. Hopefully one of you will be able to find the patrol and lead them to the caves. We had a report that there may be wargs and possibly orcs in that vicinity." With that, Glorfindel was gone, racing for the stables.

The silence in the room was deafening. Elrond took charge. Saelbeth and Silamothien walked in moments after Glorfindel left. Mel was shaking, tears running down his face. Elrond spoke quietly to his parents, "Silamothien, take Mel home. I suggest you stop by the healing wing and get a sleeping draught for him. He heard far too much here tonight for his dreams to be peaceful." Turning to Saelbeth, he said, "Stay. You will be needed."

Elrond next spoke to the young stable hand. "We will discuss what occurred at the stable after everything has settled down. Please be thinking on how an elfling was allowed to ride off on Master Erestor's horse and no one even gave it a second thought. You are free to go for now."

After Erestor explained the location to the other elves, they began to leave, hurrying to the barracks and stables. Erestor attempted to follow them, when he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"Where do you think you are going, meldir?" Elrond asked.

"I am going to help find my iell."

"Nay. You will stay here with me, where you cannot injure yourself again and you will not be in the way. You have no mount, or had you forgotten? Besides, I do not believe you could ride a horse with any speed with your thigh not yet healed. You **_will_** stay, if I have to tie you to a chair." Elrond was tired and worried. He would brook no argument and his tone conveyed that.

Erestor tensed and closed his eyes, trying not to shout at Elrond, but he realized his friend was right. He was in no shape to aid the search. Moving stiffly, he collapsed onto the large leather sofa, and put his head in his hands. "How did I mess things up so badly?"

Saelbeth excused himself to go have tea and some light food brought in. It was going to be a long night.  
TBC  
 **Translations:**  
Laer – summer  
Anor – the sun  
Adar, Ada – father, daddy  
mellon nín – my friend  
hannon le – I thank you  
pen dithen – little one  
meldir – friend  
iell – daughter  



	23. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sídhiel runs away with serious consequences.

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
_internal thoughts be in italics_

Chapter 23:

  
 _Laer, Imladris, 2818 T.A._

Sídhiel's ride was hurried and frantic until she was certain no one was following. She stopped to rest and slid off Naurion, allowing him to drink with her from the small spring. The day was growing late, and she had no idea where she was being taken, but Sídhiel trusted the large stallion and was not afraid. Naurion was worthy of her trust and would care for the child as best he could, but his path was meandering and it took them many miles out of their way. The steed was hoping they would be found.

The pair finally arrived at the series of caves above the cliffs shortly before nightfall. Once she and Naurion were safely ensconced, she pulled some large downed limbs and bushes in front of the cave entrance, hoping to conceal it. Due to the late hour, Sídhiel did not explore the cave further, but could hear dripping water somewhere in the back. The front of the cave was dry with stacks of kindling and firewood as well as mounds of dried moss, leaves, and some old animal pelts. It was fairly comfortable and she was glad that it was large enough for Naurion.

Her pack contained a flint and Sídhiel lit a small fire, watching carefully as the smoke drifted lazily to the rear of the cave, concealing her further. She was tired, and more than a little bit apprehensive. The half-elf was used to being alone and had never been afraid of the dark, instead, loving the nighttime, but this felt different somehow. There was something in the air making her uneasy and Naurion shifted nervously as well. Having no appetite, she merely drank water and gave the horse an apple for his supper. Sídhiel wanted comfort and stood, placing her arms around Naurion's neck as she stared into the fire.

Sídhiel was half dozing until a strange howling noise in the distance startled her and set her hair on end. She began to tremble and Naurion nudged her with his nose. He would let nothing happen to her. The horse shifted, pushing them both around the fire and then he dropped down to the cave floor, offering his body for comfort. Lulled by his strong heart beat, the exhausted child dropped off into uneasy dreams.

~~~*~~~

  
Asfaloth flew through the dark night, his hooves barely skimming the ground. He could feel his master's fear and knew that they could waste no time. Unfortunately, even Asfaloth could not take the final trail at more than a careful walk. The path wound up the cliffside, its narrowness allowing no room for missed steps. With only the barest crescent moon to light their way, the going was slow. When Glorfindel heard warg howls in the distance, his worst fears were realized, and the journey stretched interminably.

~~~*~~~

  
Elrond looked at his distraught friend and decided that he could no longer merely offer his silent support, since that had obviously not improved the situation. "I know you would like me to offer further platitudes, but I can do that no longer. It is obvious that Sídhiel was quite distraught that you were taking her away from here. You can run away if you will, but the child should stay here."

Erestor was incredulous. Leave Sídhiel? He stammered, "What? I… I will not leave her. She is mine to raise."

Growing angry, his patience worn thin, Elrond snapped at his friend, "Enough! You cannot handle your own emotions, how do you expect to raise a child? Since you left the healing halls, the situation here has only deteriorated, mostly due to your behavior. It has become untenable and I no longer wish to live like this. Obviously, your 'solution' of running to Lothlórien will not suffice for Sídhiel. Would you truly want to force her to leave now when she has only just made this place her home?"

The frustration radiating from Elrond deflated Erestor. He could not argue that his decision had caused Sídhiel to run. If something happened to her, he would never forgive himself. "Aíya, how do I fix it at this late date?" Erestor dropped his head, his dark hair falling like curtains to shield him from prying eyes.

Taking pity on his friend, Elrond moved to sit beside Erestor and pulled him close. "Quit running – from Glorfindel, from your own emotions and needs. Forgive him. Put the past behind you and live in the here and now."

Never looking up, Erestor replied, his voice a hushed whisper, "I… I have never done that… I do not think I even know how."

Elrond's lips quirked in a slight smile. He forced Erestor's chin up, so their eyes could meet, and was stunned by the turmoil in his friend's for once open gaze. "That, I believe, is where Sídhiel can help."

~~~*~~~

  
Sídhiel slept fitfully, but Naurion's heartbeat and warmth kept her cocooned in reverie for as long as possible until the eerie noises crept too close and even the brave stallion could not keep calm. His restlessness woke the child who rubbed at her eyes wondering why there was no light. The fire had died out, leaving only barely glowing embers and the cave was completely dark. She clung tightly to Naurion sensing that something had woken her.

It did not take long before she heard it. A snuffling, growling sound came from the front of the cave. Sídhiel had never felt such terror as horrifying images flooded her mind. She buried her face in Naurion's coat and tried not to make a sound, but muffled sobs escaped and sharp ears caught the noise.

The child heard the brush at the front of the cave begin to move and she panicked. Standing up, she fled in the opposite direction of the entrance, completely unmindful of where she was going. She just needed to be far away from whatever made those noises! Naurion was instantly on his feet, stamping and pawing the ground, when Sídhiel fled. He was ready to fight for her. Guttural sounds began to accompany the growling and snuffling and the tone quickly rose to a fever pitch. They had been discovered!

The brush and limbs were torn from the cave and dim light revealed two misshapen forms in the cave mouth. Sídhiel could discern only red glowing eyes and yellowed fangs. If that had not been enough to root the child to the spot, the putrid smell that seeped into the cave would have been. She choked back a cry and backed up against the cave wall, hoping they had not spotted her around Naurion's bulk.

Naurion recognized the loathsome creatures. He and his master had fought their ilk enough times that he was not afraid. Instead the stallion leapt at the creatures, kicking out at them, aiming for their eyes and trying to keep away from their claws and fangs. His back hoof connected with one of the creatures and it fell, stunned, to the ground. Naurion used the distraction to draw them out of the cave, hoping that none had noticed the child. As he leapt over the one that was down, the other jumped onto him, its sharp talons raking his back.

The horse's pained whinny almost caused Sídhiel to run to him when she realized that she was of no aid and would only get her captured, or worse. Praying that the stallion would be fine, she turned to find a better hiding spot farther back in the cave. Suddenly the floor cracked and gave way beneath her. She was launched along a rushing stream of water flowing down a tube in the darkness!

Sídhiel screamed as she fell, but then silence reined as her breath was stolen by the speed at which she was sliding. Being completely in the dark and unable to grab onto anything to stop herself, she had no ability to even cry out when the tube suddenly ended. Flying up, Sídhiel fell, hitting her head, and all consciousness fled.

~~~*~~~

  
Naurion bucked and kicked, desperate to dislodge the creature from his back. He ran under a low outcrop of stone and knocked the warg off. Neighing loudly in fear and warning, he shot off toward home and aid.

Himmion's patrol heard the howls rending the night air and each warrior hurriedly prepared his weapons and armor. Before the captain could give the order to mount up and ride out, Naurion bolted into camp. One of the guards recognized the stallion. "Naurion? What are you doing here? Where's your master?" He tried to calm the frightened animal but soon enough two wargs stalked into camp. Without their orc riders, they were too stupid to give up the hunt when confronted with a patrol of armed elves. The wargs were quickly taken down.

Naurion was still agitated and would not be calmed. He was trying to get the elves to follow but none paid him any mind. Whinnying in annoyance, he trotted out of the camp and back before the guard took notice. "Captain? I think the stallion is trying to tell us something."

Himmion looked up from the pyre and finally heeded Naurion's behavior. "Do you think Master Erestor is out here? And his mount is trying to lead us to him?" The other elf shrugged but did wonder at the horse's presence without a rider.

They left four elves to watch the camp while the rest followed Naurion.

~~~*~~~

  
Asfaloth crested the trail and Glorfindel sighed with relief. The caves were not far and the path was easy and wide from this point onward. He quickly reached the mouth of the cave and almost immediately heard horses coming from the opposite direction. Dismounting, he stood, hand on his hilt, unsure who was approaching. Naurion whinnied and Asfaloth responded, allowing Glorfindel to relax his stance. Himmion rode up and dismounted, quickly explaining what little they knew.

Glorfindel nodded tersely and explained to the guard what had happened. Naurion grew impatient once again and stamped and shook his head in agitation. They were not listening and the child was in danger! The stallion pushed past the guards and walked into the cave mouth, whinnying softly in question. When there was no answer, Naurion backed out and turned toward the golden warrior. He nudged the blond with his nose and snorted when Glorfindel did not move.

Himmion shook his head, "I have no idea what has gotten in to that beast, but he has been behaving this way since he arrived at our camp."

Glorfindel pursed his lips and his brow creased as he tried to make sense of Naurion's behavior. Just as he thought he understood him, Naurion moved and butted him with his flank. He looked up at Himmion and shrugged, "I believe he wants us to go into the cave. Maybe Sídhiel is hiding in there?"

The captain responded, "It cannot hurt. We need to find Sídhiel and this is as good a place to start the search as any other."

The guards lit lanterns and soon Glorfindel had reached the back of the cave. He hissed and knelt when he saw the broken floor. The cave ice had shattered and left a gaping hole where what before had seemed to be solid ground. Looking up at the cave mouth, he called out, "Rope! I need a long coil and hurry!"

Himmion carried a lantern and a roll of hithlain rope and carefully walked toward the Elda. "What is it? What have you found?"

"A passageway. The ground is broken up and the damage looks newly made. I think Sídhiel heard the wargs and ran to the back of the cave, not realizing that she was stepping on a thin crust of ice instead of solid ground. I am going down to see if she fell."

Nodding in understanding, Himmion efficiently tied one end of the hithlain rope around the base of a short, fat stalagmite. He tugged on it a few times to ensure the knot was secure before handing the coil to Glorfindel. "There you go. That should hold." He watched as the Elda made a makeshift harness out of the rope. "How long is the drop?"

Glorfindel shook his head, "I know not. I can hear the water sluicing down it, so it must only be a few feet. I hope. Brace yourself against something. I may need your aid to keep from losing my footing." Once he was sure Himmion was ready, Glorfindel dropped down onto the slippery tube. He almost fell, but managed to regain his footing before he slid far. After he caught his breath, he shouted out, "Slide a lantern down!"

Himmion cut a short length from the tied end of the rope. Using that, he secured the lantern along Glorfindel's lifeline and loosened the knot, watching as the lantern slid slowly down into the darkness. Soon he was looking down into the Elda's illuminated face. "Are you ready?"

Glorfindel nodded and turned into the darkness. "Do it slowly."

Carefully, Himmion began to play out the rope, keeping it running around the stalagmite for tension. The length was long, but he had no idea if there was enough. Caves could be terribly deep, large gashes into the earth. He heard a muffled, "Hold!" from Glorfindel and stopped. Himmion knotted the rope to hold it secure before stepping over to the edge of the hole. "What is it? What have you found?"

Glorfindel had come to the bottom of the wet passage. It plunged into blackness. He raised the lantern and saw nothing, but once he knelt on the edge and held the light over the side, he saw Sídhiel's crumpled form lying still and silent on the floor of the cave. The drop was not too far for him to jump down, but he would not be able to get her up alone. Glorfindel turned his face up the tube and shouted, "I found her! We need a litter… and ropes! Hurry, Himmion, she's not moving!"  
TBC  
 **Translations:**  
Laer – summer  
Hithlain – n. mist-thread (a substance used by the Elves to make strong ropes)  



	24. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glorfindel returns to Imladris with an injured Sídhiel and things get worse.

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
_internal thoughts be in italics_

  
Chapter 24:

 _Laer, Imladris, 2818 T.A._

Erestor woke slowly from his drug-aided rest and it took a few moments longer before he realized he was still in Elrond's rooms.. As he glanced to the open balcony, Anor was nearing its zenith. Silently cursing Elrond for the enforced sleep, he stood slowly and stretched stiff muscles. Cool water, cheese, and fruit sat upon a small table. He grimaced at the food, in no mood for a meal, but the water was refreshing and he drank an entire glass before stepping onto the porch.

Elrond's chambers sat in a corner of the Last Homely House with two balconies. This one looked upon the gardens and waterfalls in the distance, while the other faced the courtyard. Imladris' lord wanted nothing to happen that he was not aware of. As Erestor stood, gazing upon the summer greenery, he tried to make sense of his feelings and fears. Being still groggy from the sleep potion, his thoughts circled. He was no closer to a decision or understanding.

Suddenly, the bells began tolling that wounded were arriving. Erestor's heart quailed. No matter who was injured, it would be someone dear to him. Well knowing that he could not move with speed, he did not waste time heading for the courtyard, instead he grabbed his cane and went directly to the Halls of Healing.

~~~*~~~

  
Elrond and Saelbeth had been in the dining hall when the bells sounded. Immediately they raced for the main entrance. As they reached the top steps of the Last Homely House, Asfaloth was flying into the courtyard. Glorfindel was astride, holding a small body in his arms. His mount never slowed and it seemed that he was intent on riding all the way to the healing wing, but at the last moment, Asfaloth halted and Glorfindel leapt off, landing lightly on the stairs. His pace never faltered so Elrond was forced to run to keep up as the Elda flew past him. Sídhiel was injured and would need his aid.

By the time Erestor arrived at the healing wing, Sídhiel had been placed upon a white draped table, her face ashen pale and streaked with blood from a head wound. As Erestor moved to stand next to his daughter, Glorfindel turned on him, hissing, "Have you not done enough? She would not be hurt if it were not for you! Damn it, Erestor! You can run away, if you must. So be it. But you will not take her with you! She belongs here and here she will stay!" Glorfindel's immeasurable patience had finally snapped when he held the injured little body in his arms. He could not take it any longer and was done with it. Turning back to the child, he ignored Erestor.

Glorfindel's tirade was like a physical blow to Erestor and the force of it pushed him back against the wall. His composure and strength of will deserted him and he crumpled, sliding down the wall to the floor. Elrond looked up and grimaced. He did not need another patient. "Glorfindel, enough! We are all worried and tired. Be careful of your words, that you do not regret them." He moved his eyes to Erestor, directing the blond's attention to what he had wrought. "I do not need you hovering, wait outside." Elrond turned away and whispered quietly to Nestoron.

Glorfindel pulled his eyes from Sídhiel. As he turned, Nestoron was gently helping Erestor to stand. Frozen to the spot, he simply stared. Erestor's terribly fragile state registered and he regretted his harsh outburst. When he finally freed himself from his trance, he moved toward the pair who were now moving through the door. Nestoron turned his gaze back to the blond and glared from narrowed eyes. Clearly Glorfindel was not welcome to follow.

~~~*~~~

  
Gildor and the twins crossed paths high above the waterfall and their combined parties rode swiftly to the caves, but they arrived after Glorfindel had already left. Himmion was glad to see their group ride up as a scout had discovered the Orc warrens and they needed help to clear out the area.

Elladan met Gildor's eyes and they agreed to stay. Though they were torn, duty came first. With the additional elves, they sealed off all the entrances so that none would escape and set a fire to smoke the orcs out. They came rushing from every available opening, tumbling, pushing, clawing at their brethren in their haste. They were easily picked off. After the short battle, more fuel was piled in the cave and fires were started to purify the defiled dens and make them available for the local wildlife once again.

The carcasses were piled high and the pyre caught in a flash, blazing brightly in the dazzling early morn. Their duty done, the twins and Gildor mounted and rode for home. Their horses were not the only ones weary and the ride took hours, so it was already evening when they at last reached the Last Homely House.

They were met in the courtyard by a young page. Elrond requested their immediate attendance in his office. Gildor's heart quailed, but he was certain that Sídhiel yet lived. He hurriedly dismounted and rushed to the Halls of Healing, ignoring Elrond's summons. The twins stared after Gildor in silent amazement. No one dared disregard their father.

As he walked into the dimly lit, silent room, Gildor hesitated at the door. Erestor was sitting next to Sídhiel, stroking her arm, his eyes dark pools of worry, pain, and regret. The advisor looked like he should be a patient himself with his gaunt form, ashen skin, and the purple bruises under his eyes. Gildor sighed sadly for he had added to Erestor's burdens instead of lightening them.

Erestor's eyes darted up when he heard the soft exhalation. His face briefly shone with pleasure, and then quickly darkened. Leaning in he kissed Sídhiel's brow and stood, speaking faintly, "I will leave you for a few moments." His voice was filled with an undercurrent of hurt.

Gildor crossed the room hurriedly and stopped mere inches from his friend. "Nay! Do not go. Please?" He faltered, but sought Erestor's eyes.

The quiet, bitter reply surprised Gildor. "Why should I stay where I am not wanted… where I am despised? I will allow you this time… for Sídhiel." Erestor turned and began to walk away when a strong arm shot out and grabbed him.

"Forgive me, meldir. I was worse than wrong. I know you better than any and I **_know_** you are not capable of such vile actions. Please, Res? Your forgiveness means the world to me." Gildor's eyes pleaded for understanding and shone with fear of losing Erestor's friendship from his harsh words.

Erestor stopped, but did not turn. He slumped and spoke brokenly, "Forgiveness? You ask for such from me? I, who has yet to forgive his parents for leaving him? I cannot find forgiveness for Glorfindel and you now ask it? I do not know how…" He finally turned an anguished mask to the blond. "If I knew how, I would forgive you first of all because you were right. My heart is filled with nothing but anger, fear, and bitterness." Erestor waved a hand idly in an arc encompassing all of Imladris. "Look at all I have accomplished. My best friend believes I am a viper, the one that holds my heart loathes me, my lord has lost all confidence in me, and my ward… the one that I should protect above all others, lies here, injured… because of me."

Gildor grabbed Erestor's hand and pressed it over his heart, while tugging his friend into a tight embrace. "Res… you are none of those things. I will go with you to Lothlórien. Anything you need to heal. I will never desert you. In time, you will learn to forgive and move forward." Nodding toward the small body in the bed, he said, "Sídhiel will teach you how to forgive so that you may live again."

Gildor would not release Erestor and pulled him so that they both sat down upon the bed next to Sídhiel. He took her small hand in his and cupped it and Res' protectively within both of his. "Whatever you decide, I will be here for you."

Erestor looked down at the small hand gently cradled within his own and Gildor's. This was Sídhiel's home as it was his. He would not flee to the Golden Wood for all that made life worth living was in Imladris. Finally able to tear his eyes from their hands, he met Gildor's concerned gaze. "Will you help me… show me how?"

Gildor nodded. "Aye. The first step is forgiving yourself, mellon nín. You carry the faults of Arda upon your shoulders and push too hard if everything does not go as planned. Just as you never expected to have a child to raise, you cannot control everything. Let it go and take things as they come."  
TBC  
 **Translations:**  
Laer – summer  
meldir – friend (m)  
mellon nín – my friend  



	25. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sídhiel is recovering and Erestor's patience snaps.

  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[fics](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/fics), [the reason](http://weepingnaiad.livejournal.com/tag/the%20reason)  
  
  
---|---  
  
 _internal thoughts be in italics_

Chapter 25:

  
 _Laer, Imladris_ , 2818 T.A.

The darkness was filled with foul smells, hair raising sounds, and brief glimpses of horrifying shapes. Wherever she ran, Sídhiel could not get away from them. Sídhiel moaned softly and grew increasingly restless, until she began to thrash in the bed. A cool cloth pressed to her forehead and Erestor's hands on her cheeks failed to calm her.

"Shhhh…" he began crooning softly while stroking her hair around the bandages.

Suddenly she cried out, "Ada!" and sat bolt upright in the bed. As she sobbed, Erestor slipped into the bed with her, wrapping her up in a warm embrace. He hummed and whispered to her while rubbing soothingly along her un-bandaged arm and back.

Gradually Sídhiel calmed and Erestor heard a barely audible croak against his chest. "Water?"

Before Erestor could turn to the side table, Elrond was at their side, holding a glass to the child's parched lips. "Here. Drink slowly. It has been a long while since you had more than a few swallows." Elrond's voice was calm, warm, and soothing, and Sídhiel did as asked before relaxing back into Erestor's arms.

"Hurts," she managed to squeeze out.

Elrond tenderly checked the bandage on her head, eliciting a soft moan. After checking her leg and arm, he looked up and met Erestor's dark gaze. He shook his head and stepped away, returning quickly with a small cup of warm herbal tea which he pressed to Sídhiel's lips. "Drink this, pen dithen. It will make it stop hurting."

Sídhiel drank the tea which had enough honey to mask the healing herbs. She still clung to Erestor, but quickly succumbed to the infusion and drifted off. Erestor held his daughter until he met Elrond's eyes. They settled Sídhiel back into the bed, but Erestor felt a hand pressing him down before he could move off the bed.

"Rest. Get comfortable… well as much as you can in these beds. We will watch over you both while you sleep." Elrond was firm, his eyes daring Erestor to argue.

Erestor had barely slept since Sídhiel was brought in injured, staying by her side except to relieve himself. He nodded and shifted, careful of his daughter's injured head and her broken arm.

Once Elrond was assured that his patient and his friend were asleep, he turned to the doorway and nodded. Glorfindel tentatively walked in, not wanting to wake up Sídhiel or Erestor.

"Sídhiel will recover?" he asked almost silently.

Elrond nodded and stood, steering them to the door. "She will be fine now that she has woken." As they entered the hallway, he closed the door behind him and crossed his arms over his chest as he met Glorfindel's eyes, his frowning. "Will you continue to skulk in the shadows and only visit while they sleep? Sídhiel will wonder what she has done to lose you."

Glorfindel sighed tiredly. "Elrond. Leave it."

Elrond's eyes conveyed what he thought but he said no more as Glorfindel walked away.

~~~*~~~

  
 _Three weeks later_

Elrond stood on his balcony and grinned at the sight in the gardens below him. There was an impromptu picnic going on and it was proving to be quite entertaining. Sídhiel was giving orders to Elladan and Erestor from her perch on the side of the fountain. Their mumbled complaints made it to Elrond's ears, while Sídhiel's laughter was bright as Melpomaen and Silamothien joined them. She jumped up quickly and limped over to Mel who met her more than halfway.

The food was laid out and just as they settled down a blond joined the happy group. Sídhiel's excited squeal echoed through the gardens.

"Uncle Gildor!"

The blond easily lifted her and spun her around until she was giggling from dizziness. Erestor stood and received a large hug until he was pushed to arm's length and made to walk and turn a circle. He rolled his eyes, but his smile was wide as he demonstrated that he had no further need for a cane.

Elrond's smile faded as he turned away from the happy scene and met Glorfindel's eyes. Sighing, he pulled his friend from the shadowed corner and into his chambers. Without asking, he poured two glasses of miruvor and handed one to the blond. "You could join them, just as Gildor has done. Sídhiel's delight would be all the greater were it you."

Glorfindel shook his head and drank the heady cordial in one swallow. "I am singularly unwelcome among that company, Elrond. It is better this way."

Elrond bit his lip to keep from saying anything. He did not believe the damage was irreparable, but his friend seemed to. His gentle pushing and prodding had gotten them nowhere. He hoped that soon enough something would give. The tension was becoming too much to bear.

~~~*~~~

  
Sídhiel and Mel conspired together and soon had Elladan flat on his back being tickled by the wily pair. Erestor was leaning against Gildor and watching, a bemused smile on his lips.

Gildor turned his head and caught Erestor's eyes. "You look better than you have in a long time, mellon nín. It is good to see you happy once again." His eyes turned to Sídhiel who was currently being tickled senseless by Elladan. "She is amazingly resilient."

Erestor voice was soft as he shook his head. "Sídi is not as carefree as she seems. She is afraid of the dark… and has such nightmares that she no longer sleeps in her own bed. The child that showed me the beauty of the plains of Rohan by Ithil's light can no longer sleep alone."

 _'And it is all my fault.'_ Though his words were unspoken, Gildor felt their weight.

The wanderer gathered Erestor's hands in his own and disagreed. "What you said might be true, but for Sídhiel's sake, you need to forgive yourself. Just be there for her and soon enough she will be back to her old self." He grinned as Sídhiel pounced on Elladan, sitting on his legs and pinning them so that he could no longer fight as Mel began to tickle him. "Just let it go. She will be fine."

Erestor nodded, his eyes intently watching his daughter. When she felt eyes on him, she grinned. "Ada! Gildor! Come on! Elladan is too strong for just Mel and me. We need help!"

Laughing, both Gildor and Erestor joined in the games.

~~~*~~~

  
Anor's descent saw Elladan, Silamothien, and Melpomaen leaving the picnic. Erestor looked up from the book he was reading and waved as they left the small gathering. When his eyes met Gildor's he smiled fondly at the pair. Sídhiel was lying with her head in Gildor's lap. They had been identifying clouds for some time and both seemed quite content to continue their soft chatter.

Erestor's eyes returned to the book, but he found that he was no longer concentrating on the words on the page when Sídhiel's soft question reached his ears.

"Uncle Gildor, did I make Glorfindel mad by running away?"

Erestor stiffened, but tried to act as though he was still reading and had not overheard her.

Gildor frowned and looked down into dark blue eyes. "Why do you ask such a thing?"

She shrugged and tried not to show how much she cared about the answer. "He has not come to see me since I was hurt."

"Oh, pen dithen! Glorfindel has checked on you whenever he is available. He has merely been very busy." Gildor looked down at Sídhiel and gathered her up in his arms when he saw the wetness shimmering in her eyes.

Erestor took several deep breaths to try to calm the sudden fury engulfing him.

Sídhiel shook her head and snuggled into Gildor's embrace. "I was afraid…"

"Afraid of what?" Gildor glanced at Erestor and saw the anger in his eyes. He shook his head and Erestor pursed his lips, counting silently in hopes of banking the fire in his veins.

"I-I was scared that he didn't love me anymore… and-and that others might get angry and send me away." Sídhiel shuddered and finally broke down.

Erestor set the book down and stood. Gildor shook his head and mouthed, 'Nay!' but Erestor's eyes flashed cold fire as he stormed away. Tightening his arms about Sídhiel, Gildor soothed and comforted the child while praying that his friend did not let his anger make things even worse.

~~~*~~~

  
Squaring his shoulders, Erestor turned toward the barracks and the office of one returned golden lord. As he walked, his steps quickening as his anger grew, he cursed himself for being a fool and cursed Glorfindel for being an even bigger one.

By the time he reached the training arena outside of Glorfindel's office, his eyes burned brightly and all ducked out of his path. Not even bothering to knock, Erestor stormed into the warrior's office and slammed the door behind him. At that moment, fury overcame all sense and he stalked over to the large desk and slammed his fist down on it, shouting, "You stiff-necked bastard! You stubborn warg! I have had enough of this! You may have given up on us… me… but you are not allowed to write Sídhiel off! She is too young to understand and now believes that anytime she misbehaves she stands to lose the love of those around her! So get off your sorry arse and fix it. Now!"

Erestor's eyes blazed and he stood there panting lightly as he ran out of steam, unsure what more he could say as cornflower blue eyes unflinchingly met his. Not once did Glorfindel shy away from the sharp tirade. A small flicker crossed his brow and he pursed his lips, but he did not reveal further emotion.

"Are you finished?" he asked coldly.

When the golden warrior seemed completely nonplussed and totally unaffected by his outburst, Erestor sagged. The fight was gone; his anger had burned itself out, leaving nothing behind but bone deep sorrow. He dropped into the chair and met Glorfindel's eyes. Instead of seeing the remembered warmth, he saw chipped ice and felt a chill run up his spine at the realization that it truly was over between them.

Erestor shook his head. He licked his lips and took a deep breath. "Nay," he started, voice soft as he tried to gain his composure and his will to finish this. Tilting his head down because he could not bear to meet that cold gaze, he continued. "I came here for Sídhiel. She misses you. She needs you. Please?" he begged. Finally, he looked up, but his eyes stared resolutely at the small line at the corner of Glorfindel's mouth. "I would do anything that you asked of me… for Sídí. She does not deserve to bear the brunt of my foolishness. Please reconsider? For her? You loved her once; please show her that affection again?"

As the words tumbled out of his mouth, they gave Erestor pause. Was he still talking about Sídhiel? Or had the topic suddenly changed out from under him? Turning into a thinly veiled request for himself?

That knowledge sent Erestor's thoughts churning. His breath began to speed up and he felt the walls closing in on him. Standing suddenly, he spoke in chopped words. "Never mind. Forget it. Forget I came. Forget all of this…"

Before he could turn away, a large, calloused hand gripped his wrist and held fast. Erestor was caught, but he refused to shift his eyes away from the door and escape.

"Nay, I'll not forget any of what you said and I'll not let you go until you look at me and answer me honestly." Glorfindel's voice was deeper than Erestor remembered. It felt like warm molasses, thick and rich and he could not help the tingle he felt from the blond's words.

Erestor nodded his head and turned around very slowly. He did not have the strength to meet Glorfindel's eyes, but he had to. When he looked up, they were no longer hard and cold; instead they had softened and were questioning him as a small smile curled Glorfindel's lip.

"I need to know the truth. Did you come here only for Sídhiel? Or was there something else? Some other reason?"

The deeply drawn breath stuttered in his chest and his stomach tied itself in knots, but he licked his lips and answered as honestly as he could. "I - I came for her, but I asked… for me." The last two words were spoken in a hoarse whisper, barely audible.

Glorfindel's grip eased up on his wrist, but he did not let go, instead a thumb slid softly over the rapid pulse. Erestor heard a deep sigh and tore his eyes away from the finger moving over his skin.

"Erestor…" Glorfindel was standing, taller than Erestor, but he was not towering over the raven-haired elf. His body was filled with tension, a crease forming between his eyes, but his hand was gentle as was his voice when he spoke. "We both have a lot to make up for. Are you saying that you are now willing to try?"

Biting his lip, Erestor answered, not easily, but he forced the words past his lips. "Aye. I am a fool and I do not wish to continue as we have been." He turned his body and placed his hand over Glorfindel's, stilling the stroking thumb. "Come to dinner on the morrow? So the three of us can begin again?"

Surprise widened the blonde's eyes, but a pleased smile graced his lips and he nodded. "I would like that… very much." Hope filled his heart and he visibly relaxed.

"I look forward to it." Erestor freed his wrist and stepped toward the door, not yet willing to leave, but hesitant to stay. "I am not telling Sídhiel. I think she will enjoy the surprise. Good evening, Glorfindel."

"Good evening, Erestor." Glorfindel's voice was warm and lush and brushed the councilor's ear as he closed the door behind him. His legs felt like jelly and his throat was as dry as the sands of Harad, but his heart was hopeful once again.

TBC

  
 **Translations:**  
ada – daddy  
Anor – sun  
Ithil – moon  
Laer – summer  
mellon nín – my friend  
pen dithen – little one  



End file.
